There are some people in the world who are social butterflies. They fly gracefully and beautifully from group to group and topic to topic. They engage with people and ask questions. They make people feel connected and enable them to open up. People walk away from them feeling more themselves.
Then there’s me…the total opposite of a social butterfly. In fact, I would call myself a social slug – slow, dense and leaving a messy trail behind.
Seriously, social situations are really not my strength. This isn’t, of course, a new revelation about myself. I’ve known that socializing and meeting people isn’t a strength of mine for a long time, but last night I was reminded once again about the truth of this.
I lay in bed last night thinking back over the evening…I wish that I wasn’t so socially awkward. I wish that I could leave a social event and not regret the things that I said or didn’t say, did or didn’t do. I wish that I could be quicker on my feet socially and be able to come up with good questions to draw people out and make them feel connected. I wish that I didn’t just say whatever pops in my head some times. I wish I could feel comfortable around other people, comfortable in my own skin….but, I don’t….I’m not.
I’ve been trying lately to learn to accept myself at least a little more. Trying to recognize that some things aren’t my strengths and that’s ok. Trying to recognize that there are other things that I can do at least fairly well. I have always had a problem with beating myself up over things, being really hard on myself, carrying around guilt about things that I coulda, shoulda, woulda done. Lately, though, I have really been trying to accept that I am God’s loved child…that He accepts me… and I can rest in that…that He delights in me… and I can breath in that. But, last night I failed miserably – not just socially but in my response to my own failure and awkwardness.
Lord, teach me to grieve for the things that I do that hurt you and hurt others, but teach me to relax about my silly little social failures. Teach me to allow myself to accept your love, your acceptance, your grace.
Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman
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Beth Stedman. wife. mommy. daughter. friend. homemaker. sinner. believer. writer. cook. dreamer. artist. yogi. photographer. 
Beth, I so relate to what you are saying. I have spent many the time going over what I should have said, what I should not have said and most of all what I should have done. It has been a long process for me to count on the empathy that God has given me, and use that to learn how to read people and listen to them. Most people want to know someone is interested in their story and what they have to say. I still fail but am getting better all the time. Give yourself time and know that it can be a learned skill. I mostly listen to God and ask Him how He sees the person I am talking to and ask Him what they need. I see in you the ability to do that so don’t give up on yourself, there are many people that will be blessed by your contact. God calls us to be compationate, and I believe that is something He will grant us if we ask Him(I need to ask Him all the time). I also think that you probably bless people more than you think. Much love, Lisa
Social skills are highly overrated!! The whole social dance was constructed by a bunch of people who use words like “proper” and “appropriate” and “all things in moderation”. What happened to words like “passion”, “vulnerability”, “authentic”, and “deep”???
Anyway, that is a little strong…I’m sorry. But I guess I like social slugs…they have way more gravity than those butterflies!! So, I understand your situation, but I like you because you are willing to be real!!