Archive for April, 2009

Another Nephew

April 26th, 2009

On Wednesday April 22nd (Earth Day) my brother and his wife gave birth to their second son, Oliver Tristen Nelson. He was three weeks early and weighed only 6 lb. 9 oz. but he is healthy and strong and from the pictures I’ve seen so adorable! I can’t wait to meet my new little nephew when we go to visit next week.

Here is a prayer that I found for the birth of a child in the Celtic Daily Prayer Book. Join me in praying this for little Oliver today:

Welcome, Oliver,
child of love,
[God bless you].
And blessed you are, beyond telling,
to be born to parents
who love you
and love each other
servants of the
great King Jesus.

Grow gently, Oliver,
in love of God.
We bless you,
and pray
Christ be near you,
now and each hour
of your life.

As you grow
may faith grow with you.
May you find the presence
of Christ your clothing
and protection.
And year by year may the
knowledge of His presence
be greater for you,
that daily you may put on Christ
and walk as His own in the world.

Oliver, may God make clear to you each road;
may He make safe to you each step;
should you stumble, hold you;
if you fall, lift you up;
when you are hard pressed with evil,
deliver you -
and bring you at last to His glory.
Amen.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

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In the Garden

April 22nd, 2009

Yesterday Bryan and I went with a friend to a market here in Prague that sells plants and fruits and vegetables. We had a great time wandering through stand after stand of fresh ripe fruits and veggies, admiring all of the new growth on the herb and vegetable plants and enjoying the beauty of the flowers around us. Bryan and I ended up buying a tomato plant, some lettuce, some herbs and two pepper plants to grow on the balcony. We will plant them on the balcony this afternoon and I’m really looking forward to getting my hands dirty with this task.

Then last night I read the book Hope for the Flowers. It is a beautiful little story about a caterpillar’s journey to becoming a butterfly and I loved it. I will definitely be reading it again. It was also the first story that I read aloud with the thought of reading to my baby. From what I hear it’ll still be a few more days (maybe about a week) before the baby’s ears are developed enough for it to hear what’s going on outside the womb, but for some reason as I started to read this story I thought of the new growth and change that is happening within me and I wanted to read it aloud to my little baby.

Then this morning when I woke up my brain was writing a short story in my head about a little tree that was transplanted. I forced myself to wake up faster than my body really wanted and rushed to the computer to try and get the story out in writing. I got some of it, but I think that what my brain was writing in bed was a little better than what I put down by the time I got to the computer – funny how it works that way sometimes. But, I still have hope for this story about new growth and change in the life of a little tree.

Then the first blog I read today was Christine Sine’s post on Earth Day. She talks about gardening and all the metaphors for life and God’s work that can come from the garden, but she also mentioned briefly something that really struck me… “the sacramental nature of gardening.” She writes, “how differently would we view God’s creation and our faith if each time we planted a seed we entered into an experience of the death and resurrection of Christ. And what about if we saw the watering of the garden as a partaking in the baptism of Christ after all each time we water it does bring new life to the plants we are tending.” That really struck me. To be honest, I’ve never had much of a green thumb, and I’ve killed more plants and flowers in my day then I’d like to admit, I’ve never had much patience for it and often forgot to tend to the plants. Lately, I’ve been recognizing the importance of tending to creation and also been really liking the idea of growing my own food and living more simply (I guess I fit in with the rest of my generation and a common trend right now – did you know sales of vegetable seeds and transplants are up 30% over last year in the U.S’s largest seed company?). Anyway, I like the idea of gardening a lot, but I’ve had a hard time really getting into it myself, but this picture helped me in some way… thinking of it as a sacrament. I just really like that.

Anyway, I guess God’s been surrounding me with a lot of garden and planting and spring time stuff the past 24 hours and I thought I’d share J

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

 Photograph by Beth Stedman

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Great You Tube Video

April 17th, 2009

Last night our flat mates/neighbors came over to listen to a lecture on community (maybe I’ll write about that later) but before listening to the lecture we watched this video on youtube of Susan Boyle:

Click here to see the video (sorry I wasn’t able to embed it)

At the beginning of this video everyone is judging and sort of making fun of this single (never been kissed) unemployed 47 year old. But the second she starts singing it surprises them and forces them to chance their predetermined judgments and wake them up to the reality that things are often different then they may appear.

I also loved her song choice. Les Miserables has been one of my favorite musicals since the first time I saw it when I was about 8 or 9. I still think it’s one of the most powerful and beautiful stories I’ve heard. Here are the lyrics:

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he’ll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

 

So, here’s what it made me think about today…

Who am I judging based on my own preconceived ideas? Will I give someone the time and space to surprise me?

What dreams have I let die and not pursued myself out of fear that others will judge me or laugh at me?

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

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What’s 40 weeks long and looks a little like Lent and a little like Easter?

April 11th, 2009

Answer: Pregnancy!

That’s right… We’re PREGNANT!

Tomorrow marks the beginning of week 14 putting me FINALLY in my second trimester (the first trimester was really not very enjoyable). So, far this pregnancy has been a bit of a roller coaster ride emotionally and physically. We weren’t planning on getting pregnant and it’s definitely changed some of our plans for this year and will probably change a lot of our plans for the rest of our lives in ways that we can’t even foresee right now. But, we are very excited about this new adventure and new little life. We have both always looked forward to being parents and now, as that reality sinks in, we are no less excited.

For the last few weeks I’ve been thinking (when I can get my brain to think – seriously “pregnancy brain” is not a myth!) about how pregnancy is sort of a cross between Lent and Easter.

Pregnancy is 40 weeks. Maybe that doesn’t seem significant to anyone else, maybe it isn’t really significant and I’m just making something out of nothing, but it seems significant to me. I was just thinking about some of the other things that seem to come in time periods of 40… Lent being 40 days, Jesus spending 40 days being tempted in the desert, Moses and Elijah having 40 day encounters with God, the Israelites spending 40 years in the desert, the flood being 40 days and 40 nights, etc. Anyway, I got to thinking about pregnancy in comparison to some of those things…

In some ways pregnancy feels like Lent to me. Lent is a time when we make sacrifices we give things up in an effort to make more space and room for God in our lives. It’s a time when we search our hearts and souls and repent for wrong doing. And it is a time of growth as well (the word lent has its roots in “spring” and “to lengthen”). Pregnancy also is a time when we make sacrifices; we give things up to create a healthy environment for new life to grow. We give up alcohol, eating certain foods, and caffeine, as well as giving up certain other activities that could be dangerous for us or our child. Like Lent pregnancy can also be a time of deep reflection for many women, searching their hearts and souls, coming to grips with some of their own inadequacies and fears as well as looking at their past and the faults and successes of their own families. It can be a time of growth and change of setting new healthier limits for yourself physically and emotionally. In some ways pregnancy feels like a 40 week Lent.

I was also feeling like pregnancy was in some ways like the Israelites wondering in the desert. The forty years that Israel spent in the desert was a time when they had to rely entirely on God, there was little in their lives that they controlled. They moved when God said to move, they stopped when the cloud or fire stopped. They had no food or no water except that which the Lord directly provided. It wasn’t a time for them taking control and ruling their own lives, it was a time for letting go and allowing God to rule. Pregnancy feels like that to me too. In many ways pregnancy is one of the first truly and completely dependent experiences I’ve ever had. I have absolutely no control over the live growing within me. Sure I can do my best to eat well, rest, and not do things that could be dangerous for the baby. But, I cannot make the baby grow. I have no control over whether this child will live and grow healthily for 40 weeks or whether something will happen and it will be miscarried. I have no control over whether this child will be healthy or whether it will have health problems or disabilities. In many ways I feel entirely helpless, wondering in a desert of change and in actuality almost completely unable to keep myself and my baby safe. Pregnancy is indeed a time of deep trust and letting go of control – two things that have never been easy for me.

In other ways pregnancy feels like Easter. The Easter season, which lasts 50 days, celebrates all that is blossoming and flourishing in our lives. It celebrates the fact that we live as resurrection people, we are part of God’s kingdom come, our God has given us life – life to the full. I love how N.T. Wright put it in Surprised by Hope, “Jesus is risen, therefore God’s new world has begun. Jesus is risen, therefore Israel and the world have been redeemed. Jesus is risen, therefore his followers have a new job to do. And what is that new job? To bring the life of heaven to birth in actual, physical earthly reality.”

In pregnancy I have a clear opportunity to play some small part in joining God in bringing “the life of heaven to birth in actual, physical earthly reality.” Not that there are not many other ways in which we bring life to earth and join God in creating life in the world around us, but pregnancy seems like a particularly unique time in which we have a chance to be God’s vessels for creating. Pregnancy is beautiful, mysterious, celebratory, and full of life and meaning and to me that’s exactly how the Easter season should be as well.

Ok, so that’s the news for those of you who hadn’t heard yet, and my initial thoughts on it, I’m sure there will be more to come later J

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

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Prayers from the Cross

April 10th, 2009

 

I meet regularly with a group of ladies to study and practice together various spiritual disciplines. This past week I was unable to be there for the whole time but came in just in time to hear the last bit of a discussion on prayer, particularly focusing on prayers that Jesus prayed throughout his life. The prayers that particularly struck me where the prayers from the cross, and as this is Good Friday I thought I would try and share some of the reflections with you.

Jesus’ prayers from the cross:

“My God my God, why have you forsaken me?”

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

“Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”

None of the gospels have all three of these prayers together and so honestly I had never really looked at them together before, but it struck me this time that they go beautifully together and even seem to represent a sort of progression of faith through trials.

It starts with “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” We must first be willing to admit openly our own doubt, hurt, anger, sadness and despair. We must be able to admit how alone we feel, how distant God seems. We must be able to be honest enough with ourselves to allow ourselves to question God. My God, my God why have you forsaken me?!?!?!

I truly believe that question is an important one for us to allow ourselves to ask. But, I realized something else too; Jesus spoke the question in Aramaic, which at this time was one of the most commonly spoken languages of the area (if not the most commonly spoken). It never dawned on me until this week how significant that really is. Jesus was open with his questioning of God. He didn’t try to hide it, he didn’t keep it in or under wraps, and when he spoke it he didn’t just speak his question in a way that only a few would hear or understand. He proclaimed it openly and “in a loud voice” in a language that all around him would understand. I think that says something about how we should question and doubt God, and paints a picture of what that might look like that is very different from how we currently approach questioning God’s presence in the church. The church should not be afraid of people’s questions; people should not hide their questions. They should be able to be open and honest with their pain and doubt and questions not just with God, but with the community around them as well.

I think that the path to deeper faith must begin with prayers like “My God, my God, why have your forsaken me?” It is only when we openly admit and acknowledge our deep hurts and feelings in community that we can move forward into healing.

The next prayer is “Father, forgive them, for they known not what they do.” This is a difficult prayer to pray. But, often in trial after we admit our pain and questions, in order to move forward we need to seek out forgiveness for ourselves and for those who have wronged us. One of the ladies in our group pointed out how rarely we really pray for GOD to forgive someone who’s wronged us. We know that we need to work to forgive them, but do we ever pray for God to forgive them? Do we really want God to forgive them? So, often even once we have come to a place where we can say we forgive those who’ve wronged us we still expect and want God to dish out justice towards them. Asking God to forgive the other who has hurt us takes forgiveness a step deeper and though it is a difficult step it is a step that takes us one step closer to the life of faith – trusting that God knows best and that His love is all encompassing for each and every one of his creatures.

As difficult as these first two prayers can be I think the finally prayer is really the hardest, but it is also the sweetest. “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” From that place of doubt, of questioning, of asking, “God why have your forsaken me?” we move to a place of complete rest and surrender. Our Lord is no longer referred to simply as God, but Father. And despite the fact that He may still seem distant and that our circumstances haven’t changed  and we haven’t received a clear answer to the deepest questions we ask, there comes a point of faith where we have a decision to make… will we trust? Will we surrender over our control? Will we follow this God that we don’t understand, this God that seems to forsake us at times, this God that calls us to a new and difficult way of living? Will we open our clenched fists and allow God to take us wherever He leads us, through whatever He leads us, trusting that He is love? Will we join Jesus in praying “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit”?

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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