Archive for March, 2010

Two Prayers for Two Very Different Days

March 30th, 2010

I have a confession… sometimes I hate being a mom. Sometimes I feel totally lost and like the worst mom ever. Sometimes I feel totally selfish and just want to “send him back”. Yesterday was one of those days. This is the prayer I wrote at the end of it…

Lord, forgive me for the ugliness of my own heart.

Forgive me for the resentment I can harbor in my heart towards my precious child.

Forgive me for the anger that can well up so quickly from nowhere even towards one so young, helpless, and innocent.

Forgive me for the deep selfishness that so often lifts its head to threaten my intimacy with my beautiful baby.

Teach me to love my child even when his needs, demands, and fussing keeps me from those things which I both need and want.

Teach me to love my child when he cries all through the night and keeps me from much needed sleep.

Teach me to love my child even when his whining and crying keeps me from doing those things which I think I “have” to do – like the dishes, or keeping the house clean, or getting the laundry done, or responding to emails.

Teach me to love my child when he kicks me, pulls my hair, and aggressively pushes me away when I am holding him – it’s not personal.

Teach me to love my child even when his desire for my constant presence and attention keep me from pursuing my own hobbies and interests.

Teach me to love my child even when I can’t ever finish anything I start.

Teach me to love my child even when he won’t go down for naps and I have little to no break.

Give me new vision for this little person that has been entrusted to me.

Place a new passion on my heart for the gift of life that I hold in my arms.

Give me patience for those moments when I feel lost and confused.

Give me peace and encouragement for those times when I feel like the worst mother ever.

Give me endurance for the sleepless nights and the long days of endless chores and monotonous activity.

Teach me to find joy in reading simple board books over and over again.

Teach me to find joy in being constantly chewed and sucked on whether it’s my finger, breast, arm, elbow, shoulder or chin, or whatever.

Teach me to find joy in narrating my actions, singing silly songs like the itsy bitsy spider, dangling toys just out of reach, and generally entertaining my baby however I can.

Teach me to find joy in holding my child even when my arms ache and my back is sore.

Teach me to find joy in the constant noise and the loss of the silence which I used to enjoy.

Teach me to find joy in being my child’s own personal jungle gym.

And when I need it most bring me rest.

I can’t do it on my own. Change me, Lord. Teach me to find peace and joy and identity in my new role as mother. Bring new life and rejuvenation. Resurrect me.

Amen.

I have another confession to make… sometimes I really love being a mom. Sometimes I feel totally fulfilled by simply taking care of my child and my husband. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the amount of love and affection I can feel towards my baby. Sometimes I feel like I have it all figured out. Today was one of those sometimes. Here is my prayer today…

Thank you, Lord, for being present with me in the mundane details of my day today.

Thank you for bringing sleep to my sons heavy eyes so that I could rest and work.

Thank you for giving me motivation and creativity so that I could get things done while still being intimately with my child.

Thank you for giving me ways to entertain him at just the right moments when I felt like I was completely out of ideas.

Thank you for a productive and positive day – a day when my hands worked hard, and my back ached, but I can now look around and feel proud of what I accomplished.

Thank you for giving me this day my daily bread – for meeting my needs right where I was.

But, Lord, I know that today was a good day only because of your grace to me.

I thank you for it, yet I know that I still stand on fragile ground.

I still need you… desperately.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Who knows what tonight will bring.

Whatever you choose to send, I am choosing now to accept it from your hands.

I trust that you know what’s best for me.

I trust that you know what’s best for my son.

I trust that you know what’s best for my family.

And I trust that you will meet our needs, at exactly the moment we need you to.

Lord, I need you.

I need you to continually speak sweet encouragement to me as I struggle to figure out what it looks like to mother well.

I need you to continually make me less self centered and more selfless so that I can gladly meet the needs of my child without resentment.

I need you to continually bring me days of rest and nights when my baby will sleep, because when my body is fatigued my mind and soul are hard pressed to meet each days demands.

I need you to show me what is really required of me so that I don’t heap unneeded guilt upon my own shoulders or the shoulders of those around me.

Today I rejoice over a good day, and over how far you have brought me from the place I was in yesterday.

But, today I also recognize that I still have a long way to go and tomorrow is another day.

So, again I pray…

I can’t do it on my own. Change me, Lord. Teach me to find peace and joy and identity in my new role as mother. Bring new life and rejuvenation. Resurrect me.

Amen.
Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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6 Months Old and Oh so Cute!

March 26th, 2010

Today my little baby, Thaddeus, is 6 months old! Often over the past half a year I felt like the 6 month mark would NEVER come – it felt so far away. Now that it is finally here there is a part of me that feels like it just flew by.

So, today in honor of my quickly growing boy here’s a post all about my beautiful baby:

Favorite things:

-          Music time with Daddy. Almost every day Bryan and Thad have a few minutes of music time. Usually this involves Bryan playing guitar for Thad for a little while and then the two of them playing on the African drum we have from Ghana (Thanks Carrie and Mathias!). Thad LOVES the drum especially. Here are two little videos showing you Thad playing with the drum (and flashing some cute smiles too):

-          Yoga time with mommy. This usually means that he lays on my mat while I do a little yoga and make some funny faces over him. But, if he starts getting fussy then I’ll hold him while doing poses or do a little baby yoga with him, moving his limbs gently. Here’s just a little video of our yoga time:

-          Being carried around in his sleepy wrap. He didn’t like the wrap at first, but now he LOVES it. When he’s in his wrap he’s happy doing pretty much anything, whether we are folding laundry, dancing to some music, or doing the dishes (I think his favorite is doing the dishes – he seems to like watching the water).

-          Bath time. Ok, so he doesn’t ALWAYS like it, but most of the time he seems to really enjoy it. He likes when Bryan splashes the water a little and seems fascinated by the little frog thermometer that floats in his bath.

-          Putting his feet in his mouth…well, really putting ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in his mouth!

-          Drooling. This kid can seriously drool. Sometimes I keep a bib on him so that I don’t have to change his outfit every few minutes after he’s soaked it with drool.

-          Reading and flash cards. He loves it when we read to him and it often calms him down. We also have Language Discovery cards and Animal Discovery cards, which he loves to look at. They say they are for 9 months and up but we show them to him regularly and talk about the pictures. He usually gets a big smile on his face when we start looking at them – so cute!

Things he can do now:

-          He can roll over. He definitely prefers rolling from his back to his belly, but he will also occasionally roll from his belly to his back. Here’s a little video of him rolling:

-          He can grab toys and sometimes even move them from one hand to the other.

-          He can sit up for just a few seconds on his own. Not all the time and not for more than a few seconds, but we still feel like it’s an accomplishment and we are proud of him.

-          Laugh heartily with a full body little person laugh.

-          Unintentionally scoot himself backwards a little bit.

-          He can sometimes lift his body up using both his hands and his legs so that he’s almost in a crawling like position, but he can only hold it for a few seconds. Here is a quick video of him doing this a little bit (although it’s not as good as how he does it now):

Things he really doesn’t like:

-          When mommy leaves the room.

-          Naps.

-          When something is just out of reach and he can’t get to it.

Well, happy half birthday to my little boy! We love him so much!

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

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Our Food Philosophy: Part II

March 25th, 2010

Yesterday I talked about what guidelines we’ve had for our eating habits for the past year or so. Today I want to tell you what guidelines I want to incorporate into our lives now. Most of these have to do with moving more and more towards eating only real and traditional foods. I just started reading the book Nourishing Traditions so it is shaping a lot of what I’m thinking about food right now.

Interestingly I’m realizing that what I eat really effects how fussy Thaddeus is and how much he sleeps. I know a lot of people say that what you eat while nursing really doesn’t make that much of a difference on your baby and that most babies don’t react or have allergies to things that the mom eats. But, I’m starting to really disagree with that.

We do muscle testing and have used it for a while to figure out what things I’m reacting to, but lately we have used it on Thad a bit and it’s been amazing to discover that he IS reacting to certain things in my diet. Since cutting out those things I’ve seen marked improvement in his sleeping habits, in how much he spits up, and in how fussy he is. The most remarkable change happened when I cut out sugar and most refined grains. At the same time I also cut out completely all refined salt (which I had been using a little since I ran out of Celtic Salt) and started soaking the oatmeal that I’ve been eating in yogurt or kefir for 12-24 hours. Oh, and started drinking a little Kefir every day. The first two days after making these changes Thad only woke up twice during the night (before he was waking up and crying like he was in pain 5-10 times a night), the third and fourth night he only woke up once. Not only that, but he also wasn’t as fussy during the day and by the second day he was taking wonderful naps during the day too (which is something he’s never done before).

As I’ve witnessed how eating better has affected my son and as I’ve studied and done more research on food I’ve realized that even though we eat relatively healthy already there are still more steps we can take to improve all of our health. So, here are the next steps I’d like to implement in our family:


1.
Switch to using whole unrefined grains and, as much as possible, only grains that have not been ground yet – like wheat berries, whole buckwheat, etc.

We all know that white refined grains aren’t good for us. But, giving them up is something that I’ve never really been fully motivated to do… until recently. Why the change? Well, when it’s just me (or even just me and Bryan) and feel like we are responsible adults and we can make the decision for ourselves – I mean I know that refined white flour isn’t good for me, but if I want to eat it then that is my choice and I can make that choice as an informed adult. But, now I have to feed someone else; someone who isn’t informed, who can’t make the decision for himself and whose health is almost entirely my responsibility. All parents want to do what’s best for their child and each parent has to figure out what that is for themselves and their child. For me and my child I know that we will be healthier and able to feel better if we avoid refined grains so that is a choice that I am willing to make for my sake and his.

But, I recognize that this might be the hardest change we make to our diet. We love bread, pasta, white rice and homemade fresh baked goods. Who doesn’t right? I have gone without wheat before and in cutting out wheat I naturally cut out refined white flour, so I know that it gets easier over time, but the first little bit is always hard. For the past year we have tried to incorporate at least some whole wheat flour and spelt flour into our baking, but we still regularly make bread with white flour and eat pasta made with white flour. And we have never even really tried to switch to brown rice.

I don’t anticipate this change happening overnight. I’m not going to throw out and waste the 5kg of white rice I have stocked in the cupboard. We just can’t afford that right now. But, I will buy brown rice and start mixing it with the white rice. I will stop buying white flour and only buy whole wheat flours instead. And when possible I will buy un-ground whole grains and soak or sprout them (see the next point) and MAYBE grind them to flour myself after sprouting – I guess we’ll just see how far I go. Maybe we’ll even try to eliminate grains all together… hum… probably not, but we’ll see. Baby steps.

2. Start soaking, souring, and sprouting

I will start soaking, souring, and sprouting my grains, seeds, and beans. So, I’ve always heard that soaking beans makes them more digestible and I knew that there were some health benefits to sourdough, but I had no idea about soaking/souring grains and seeds and sprouting is something I just learned about in the past few days.

So, why go through the trouble? Why soak or sprout? Well, first, grains, seeds and beans contain something called Phytic Acid, which is especially prevalent in whole grains. Phytic Acid blocks the absorption of a number of essential nutrients, particularly zinc. When you soak, sour or sprout grains it neutralizes the phytic acid and allows for better absorption of nutrients. But, that’s not all that soaking/sprouting does it also releases enzymes that then help break down gluten and other difficult to digest substances in the grain making them easier for your body to process. Some say that people with gluten intolerances can tolerate grains that have been adequately sprouted. In addition, sprouting also increases the vitamin content of the grains, particularly B vitamins. Also, according to Nourished Kitchensprouted grain contains more protein and fewer starches than unsprouted grain and is lower on the glycemic index than its unsprouted counterpart.” Clearly, there are a lot of health benefits to soaking/souring and sprouting your grains. To me, it seems that the benefits are worth the extra effort they require.

3. Switch to natural unrefined sweeteners

Ok, so this is another one that will be hard for me. It’s something I’ve known I should do for a long time, but just haven’t wanted to do, because I LOVE sugar. I don’t eat candy or the normal sources of sugar found in the American diet and probably don’t consume as much as the average American (who supposedly consumes 175 pounds of sugar per year). I do have a deep sweet tooth though. I often put a spoon full of sugar in warm milk, I regularly mix sugar into my plain yogurt, and I love making cookies and other baked goods. But, I know that this tasty sweet is linked to a number of different health problems. As we all know it really has absolutely NO benefit and it can seriously damage your health.

I’ve known for a long time that I should switch to unrefined natural sweeteners, but honestly, it scared me. I mean it’s easy to buy a package of processed sugar in the store and use it in recipes. It takes a bit more effort to learn the ins and outs of all the different kinds of natural sweeteners and how to best use them. It overwhelmed me and in the past I though “OH NO! If I cut out processed sugars then I will never eat sweets again!!!” (said with hand across forehead and faint expression on face) – Yes, I can be a little melodramatic at times. But, the fact of the matter is that is NOT true. There are a lot of natural unrefined sweeteners that actually have some nutritional value (although they should still be limited and not consumed in abundance).   I’m not just talking about honey, or maple syrup either. I had no idea that there were so many kinds of natural sweeteners and some of them are fascinating. For example have you ever heard of Coconut Sugar? Coconut sugar is made from the sap of coconut flowers and contains a number of essential vitamins and amino acids while also having a low Glycemic Index. Or have you heard of Sorghum? Which is rich in B vitamins, iron, and calcium and phosphorous. There are TONS of other natural, traditionally made sweeteners out there and I’m giving myself a personal assignment to figure out where to find them and try out these different sources for satisfying my sweet tooth.

4. Learn how to cook new types of foods and be even more adventurous with what we eat.

Variety is the spice of life, but I think it is also the miracle tonic of health. The more variety you are eating the more different nutrients your body is absorbing. I have a tendency to stick with the vegetables that I’m familiar with – carrots, bell peppers, zucchini, cucumber, tomato, potato – these are the veggies that you can almost constantly find in my house. It’s time we branch out and explore things like Kohlrabi, rutabaga, black turnip, mustard greens, and tat soi. But, I want to get adventurous not just in trying new vegetables. I also want to try things like Quinoa (which I bought today), Millet, and currents for example.

In the past few weeks we have already started branching out with our exploration. We recently started eating celery root and I love it. We also made liver and onions for the first time, which although not the best meal I’ve made it was pretty tasty and liver is hard to beat when it comes to a good source for B vitamins, folic acid, and iron. I also made hot buckwheat cereal for our breakfast a few days ago. I have loved trying these things and I want to try more things that I haven’t normally used in the past.

5. Eat more fermented food, like Kefir.

We have all heard that yogurt is good for you because of the probiotics it contains, but yogurt isn’t the only food containing probiotics. And probiotics aren’t the only benefit of fermented foods. Dairy products that have been fermented also contain higher levels of folic acid, B vitamins and other macro- and micronutrients. Vegetables that are fermented (for example sauerkraut) often have higher levels of vitamin C and vitamin A. Lactic acid fermentation can also increase the bioavailability of various amino acids. These are just a few benefits of fermentation.

Over the past four days I have had one small glass of Kefir a day and occasionally also some plain yogurt. I want to continue this and also start to eat other fermented food. Maybe I’ll even try making my own pickles or sauerkraut… we’ll see.
Ok, with all that being said there is one more thing to say. It’s something that is a key value to me as I think about how I want to eat and how I want my family to eat…

Health matters. I value my health and the health of my family. But, people matter too. I never want my health consciousness and my own food choices to make someone else uncomfortable. I value shared meals with people and if someone serves me something I’ll eat it (as long as it’s not a known allergen or sensitivity for me or my family). Personally I feel that if it’s not going to put us in immediate danger or severe discomfort then even if it is not good for our long term health it is still worth eating. I never want to turn a snub nose at what someone else has offered me, or make someone else feel uncomfortable with the extremity of many of my own food choices.

Well, I’m looking forward to many of the changes that we’re making in our diet and I’m excited to see how we all feel after implementing them. Maybe I’ll write more after trying these things for a while and let you know how we are doing with incorporating these five guidelines into our lives.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Our Food Philosophy: Part I

March 24th, 2010

A few weeks ago a friend of ours asked Bryan and I, “What’s your philosophy of eating?” At the time I had no idea how to answer her, but ever since that moment I’ve been thinking a bit about how we eat and our approach to eating. So, my husband and I talked a little about this question and we realized that we already have an unspoken philosophy on food in our house.

It began just after we got married almost five years ago. I had always struggled with allergies and some health issues and about that time I began really delving into researching. I started to learn about Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and various chemicals that can be found naturally and unnaturally in food produces. I realized then that I reacted to most (if not all) chemicals, preservatives, food additives and dyes. I also reacted to some natural foods – mostly those high in salicylates, such as cinnamon for example.

The research I did led us to clean out our pantries and change the way we ate. But, avoiding preservatives and food dyes was not the only thing that started to change. Without really realizing it we developed a whole slew of unspoken food “rules” in our house. I definitely think that these rules have improved our overall health. I feel good about the ways that we have eaten over the past 4+ years and thankful for how much better I feel now than I did before.

So, here are some of the unspoken food “rules” we’ve had for the past few years:
1. You can eat anything you want as long as you make it yourself.

This accomplishes two things. First, it means that you know exactly what you are eating. Second, if you have to make something yourself then there are going to be quite a few things that you aren’t likely to make very often. Let’s talk about doughnuts as a practical example so you can see how this plays out. Doughnuts are something that neither Bryan nor I would normally buy (in fact I think in the almost five years that we have been married we haven’t bought doughnuts once). Doughnuts are definitely not that healthy, but if we make them ourselves then the worst things in them will be the refined flour and sugar (which we don’t necessarily have to use) and the “fat” (which I will address in one of the following points). Because we made them ourselves I’ll know that they don’t have any preservatives, additives, food coloring, or anything else questionable in them. Also, making doughnuts from scratch is a bit time intensive which means that even though we might make them and enjoy them thoroughly, we won’t be making them every week; in fact it will probably be quite some time before we make them again.

2. Eat whole/real foods as much as is possible.

For years we have shopped almost excessively on the outside aisles at the grocery store without even really thinking about it. We particularly use a good amount of vegetables in our cooking.  As much as possible we try to use real food instead of man-made or processed foods. We buy real butter instead of margarine or butter substitutes. We use real sugar instead splenda or other sugar substitutes (although we do still use refined sugar, which is something I’ll be addressing in tomorrow’s post). With a very, very few exceptions we don’t buy boxed or packaged pre-made foods. This is mainly because we have wanted to avoid preservatives, additives and food dyes which are found in almost all boxed/packaged foods.

3. When buying packaged foods understand what the ingredients are.

As I already talked about we don’t buy a lot of packaged food. But, we do regularly buy pasta, couscous, cheese, yogurt, and a few other things like that. Very occasionally we’ll buy chips, crackers, or boxed cereal. Our general rule though is that if we don’t understand the ingredients in something (or if we understand them and know the health risks they pose) we won’t buy it. This has made buying packaged food in Prague something we do even more rarely than in America. My Czech is very basic and that means that even if something only had natural whole ingredients in it, I wouldn’t always be able to tell, so I won’t buy it.

4. Don’t be scared of Fat and use whole, unrefined natural fats as much as you want.

Ok, so this one will be a bit of a stretch for some people, but for Bryan and I this has been a way of thinking for a long time now. Especially in America fat is sort of a dirty word and everyone tries to avoid it. People buy fat-free and low-fat everything thinking that those things are better for them. But, here’s the thing, if you take fat out of something then you usually have to put something else in it in order for it to still taste good. Usually what they are putting in it is some sort of manmade additive or filler and not natural, so I say,”Stay Away!” We avoid eating things that are labeled low-fat or fat-free.

But, we don’t just stay clear of low-fat or fat-free items, we often use fat liberally in our cooking. We buy whole milk and whole yogurt and full fat cheeses. And I’ve even started cooking with lard . Why?? Because, fat is GOOD FOR YOU! Your body needs fat! Just one example of this is that your body needs fat in order to fully absorb some of the nutrients in your foods. If you start doing some research you will see that there is a LOT of good that fat does in the body and fat is needed for a lot of the body’s healthy processes. Hum… in fact I may have to look into writing a whole blog just all about fat… we’ll see.

5. Don’t be scared of Salt either and use as much unrefined salt as your taste buds desire.

Here’s another thing that many American nutritionists seem to tell you to avoid: salt. Well, we personally choose to ignore that, but for good reason.  Your body needs salt. For starters, you can’t stay hydrated without salt. Salt and water work together in an intricate balance in the body to keep you hydrated, to keep your muscles relaxed, to balance your pH, and to keep your blood pressure balanced. Salt can also help with the absorption of B complex vitamins. Here’s the deal though, salt can be a problem if you aren’t drinking enough water, or if you are only consuming highly processed refined salts. If you are eating a lot of packaged, processed foods then you are probably getting too much refined salt in your diet and the advice to lower your salt intake is probably good advice. But, that doesn’t mean that everyone should limit or lower their salt intake and in my own research it seems to me that if you are using unrefined salts then there is no need to limit your intake at all.

There is a huge difference between refined salt and unrefined salt. Unrefined sea salts contain a number of very nutritious minerals and nutrients that our bodies need, while refined salt has been stripped of all that goodness. Refined salts are also bleached to give them that nice white color, and they retain some of the chemicals used to bleach them. So, I am usually selective in what salts we use. My all time favorite salt for the few years has been Celtic Sea Salt. Sadly, I’ve run out of Celtic Sea Salt and I’m not sure where to find it here (anyone know??). This will definitely be the first thing I buy next time we are in the states.

6. For the most part avoid soy.

When Bryan and I first got married I loved soy – soy milk, tofu, etc. Bryan’s response to these purchases was to completely avoid them, claiming that soy contains a substance that mimics estrogen in our bodies. He jokingly added that he didn’t want to “develop man boobs”. I sort of laughed at him at first, but turns out he was right.

When I started researching my Multiple Chemical Sensitivity it seemed that one thing that came up was hormone imbalances and particularly estrogen imbalances. So, we started avoiding soy. Now, after a bit more research on soy, I know that there are other reasons to avoid soy. One example is that soy has been linked with thyroid disorders (this was another good personal motivator for me to avoid soy since I have had borderline thyroid issues off and on for years). Soy also contains a remarkably high amount of phytic acid, which blocks the body’s ability to absorb zinc, as well as magnesium, calcium, and iron.

Avoiding soy isn’t as easy as it sounds though since soy is added to a number of packaged and processed foods. Because we don’t eat all that many packaged foods it hasn’t been as hard, but if you do eat a lot of packaged foods and want to avoid soy you need to do your research and read the labels carefully as a number of common food additives contain soy.

So, those have been the key points to our food philosophy for the past few years. I am realizing lately that we still have a long way to go. As we’ve started to discuss what our current food guidelines are we have also started to discuss ways in which we would like to change our eating habits and new food guidelines that we would like to implement. So, tomorrow I’ll share about the direction we are heading with our food philosophy.

I hope you enjoy this little mini-series on food. It’s definitely helpful for me to process through all this in writing and figure out where our family is at in regards to health and our approach to food and where I would like us to be at in regards to these things.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

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Recently Discovered Blogs

March 22nd, 2010

In the past week I have added a number of blogs to my Google Reader that I’m really enjoying and would love to share. But, let me start with a little preface…

In the past I have primarily read blogs about Christianity, church, theology, and the like. But, lately I don’t have much time or energy to spend thinking about theology or theorizing about church. My mental energy is instead spent on thoughts about when to start my baby on solid foods, how to get him to take good naps, what to make for dinner, and other homemaking topics. Because of this shift in focus the types of blogs that I read have also changed.

Don’t get me wrong on the rare moment when my son is sleeping soundly or my husband is watching him I still love to read and learn from blogs like Godspace and The Carnival in My Head. But, for this season in my life when I have a spare moment the blogs that I go to first have been blogs that deal with the day-to-day stuff that I’m currently thinking about. They are blogs that deal with what it means to be an intentional and thoughtful parent, what it means to eat healthy and feed your family real food, they are blogs that deal with strategies for getting organized and keeping an organized home. A few of them are food blogs that are just so beautiful that taking a few minutes out of my day to look at the pictures and dream about the food can change my whole mood.

So, here are the blogs that I’ve recently discovered and keep coming back to whenever I can between laundry, nursing, and dishes:

Nourished Kitchen

Simple Mom

A Nourishing Home

Cannelle et Vanille

Smitten Kitchen

Cooking Books

Baked Bree

Peaceful Parenting

Passionate Homemaking

Enjoy!

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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