“I can’t do it all.” The words sound like a broken record rolling off my tongue – I’ve heard them so often – I’ve said them so often.
I am fully aware of the fact that I can’t do it all. I have heard it time and time again. I know that we are finite and our time is finite. But, why do I still feel guilty when I can’t get it all done? Why do I still feel guilty when my kitchen is a mess and there are toys all over my living room, even when I baked all morning and my bread basket is full?
Even though I know that I can’t do it all, I still WANT to do it all. I still hate that I can’t do it all and every day I fight against my own limitations. I fight to try. I know that I can’t do it all but I still try to do it all – some days I even plan to do it all. I plan on doing the dishes, picking up the house, getting all the laundry done, making three healthy homemade meals, taking care of my son, spending time with my husband, reading and commenting on blogs, writing blogs, responding to emails, working on the book I’m writing, watering the plants, and on and on and on. Instead of accepting my limitations, embracing them and striving for the attainable, I put everything imaginable on my to-do list and strive for the unachievable. I sabotage myself.
And then when the dishes don’t get done, I haven’t showered in three days, and the laundry isn’t finished I get depressed. I feel like a failure. I am flooded with guilt. And with the guilt comes hopelessness. When I begin to focus on all that I have NOT accomplished I become overwhelmed and paralyzed, and I forget to focus on all that I HAVE accomplished.
What if instead of focusing on my failures I began to focus on my successes? If focusing on the fact that I didn’t do the dishes today (or most of this week) brings guilt, would focusing on my successes (however small they may be) bring encouragement and motivation? If focusing on my failures makes me feel hopeless, would focusing on my little triumphs make me feel hopeful? That’s what I need today and good dose of HOPE. Do you?
So here’s my little list of successes for today:
- I made sourdough zucchini and apple muffins
- I made meatball subs for dinner completely from scratch (I made the bread, sauce and meatballs)
- I went to the post office
- I went to the BIO store (Czech version of a health food store)
- I made the bed
- I spent yet another day nursing my baby on demand and playing, reading and singing with him
- I spent time with my husband and had some really nice talks with him about life and work
- I read a few blog posts
- I talked with my mom for a bit and made some plans for our trip back to the states this summer
- I wrote this blog and took these pictures
Ok, maybe it’s not that much, but it’s something. I can’t do it all, but I can do some things. I choose today to focus on the things I have accomplished instead of focusing on my failures. I’m not a bad homemaker, just an imperfect one – but aren’t we all?
What were your little triumphs and successes today?
Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman
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Beth Stedman. wife. mommy. daughter. friend. homemaker. sinner. believer. writer. cook. dreamer. artist. yogi. photographer. 
Hi Beth,
I used to a mom of little ones…. and it is hard work. I would say you accomplished much more than can be expected of any person. It took me years to stop being so hard on myself and to be free in the requirements of my day. I think the best advice I ever received about this subject was when an older lady said to me (I was about 21 or 22), “What you don’t get done today probably will not matter in 10 years, 2o years or when you die. So if you did something in a day that will matter when you die, you have done what you were supposed to do on that day.” That only sunk into my head 3 or 4 years ago…. and I am getting close to 50. Don’t waste a lot years doing stuff that won’t matter when you die – or beating yourself up for not doing “stuff”. I say all of that with love and intentions for your best in this life. Miss you and pray you are continually blessed in the truths you discover on your life journey. Under His Wings, Sherry
I’d love your sourdough muffin recipe. just the other day i was saying to my neighbor – as we commiserated how hard it is to take care of a house and all – that one thing suffers each season so we were out all weekend doing yard work and the inside looks like a storm or vice versa. thursday I made bagels, bread and pancakes and then was exhausted and didn’t do the dishes for a day (or two). it is what it is. one of my favorite motivational speakers quoted someone saying this week as a challenge “say good things about yourself, if you start to hear negative, turn it into two positives” you listed all the great, many things you did and then quantified it as not that much. seems like a lot to me. its hard. guilt weighs heavy but ultimately it doesnt’ improve us in anyway so we’ve just gotta let it go, right?
Nina, Thank you so much for this encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one!
And thanks for pointing out how I quantified my list of triumphs – wow, hadn’t even realized I did that. Not being so hard on myself is definitely going to be a slow learning process, but I’m trying. I liked the challenge you shared as well – I’m gonna try that for a bit and see what happens. Thanks!
Sherry, you are so right! I really need to take a long term approach to what gets done, because in 10 or 20 years it isn’t going to matter that I didn’t do the dishes this week, but it might matter that I didn’t spend time with my husband, or cuddle my baby as much as possible. It’s easy for me to get caught up in the stuff that seems urgent right in the moment and prioritize that over the stuff that really IS important in the eternal scheme of things. Thanks for the reminder, Sherry!