Thoughts on asking for Help
Ok, so today I was thinking about favors and asking for help… Here’s what I was thinking… I recently asked a friend if she would babysit for my niece and nephew while they are in town so that my sister and her husband could go out with us without the kids and it felt really difficult and awkward to ask her, but I have asked her for favors before and it didn’t feel that awkward in the past…so I started to think about why it felt so difficult. Also, we recently asked another friend to help us move some things from the place that my family is staying in Prague to our place in Prague it wasn’t really a big deal but it felt difficult to ask… but I didn’t feel like it would have been difficult to ask a few months ago…again I started to think about why. Also recently a close friend asked me a favor and I could tell that it was difficult for her and again I started to ask myself why. So, these things got me thinking… It seems like it is easier to ask someone for a favor or for help when you don’t know them that well. I mean obviously it’s difficult to ask a stranger for help, but it seems like it’s sometimes equally difficult to ask someone you have a more personal/close relationship with for help. It seems like it’s easiest to ask those people that you sort of know but don’t really have a close relationship with for help/a favor. To use language from my previous post, it seems like it’s easiest to ask people who you have a social space relationship with for a favor or for help then it is to ask someone who you have a personal or intimate space relationship with. I also remembered reading a study that said that most people get jobs through connections and that those connections are usually social space connections (casual acquaintances)not close personal connections. I thought this was interesting. So, why is it that it’s so much harder to ask someone that you know on a closer more personal basis for help/a favor??? Is it because you respect them and think that if you asked for this help/favor you would be taking advantage of them? Is it because you care more about what that person thinks of you and you don’t want them to think you are taking advantage of your relationship with them? Is it because you care about them and don’t want to inconvenience them? Is it because asking for the favor/help makes you feel like a poor friend? I don’t know really. But, I do know that it seems a lot harder to ask close friends for help or a favor. Interestingly enough though, in those times when I’m on the receiving end of being asked for help or a favor I generally would jump at the chance to help a close personal friend whenever I can. It seems like close friends would be more willing to help other close friends but for some reason it’s a lot more difficult for close friends to ask for help of another close friend. Anyway, those were my thoughts…random and incongruous as they are.
Rejoicing in the journey - Beth Stedman