Pregnancy Journal: Week 14

Today I am 14 weeks pregnant and entering my second trimester! YAY! A third of the way there. So, here’s this weeks Pregnancy Journal.

Pregnancy Journal: Week 14

I am seeing… some slow progress. There is a stack of boxes that are full and taped up now and slowly cupboards are emptying and things are getting done. It still looks like a disaster, but when I look closely I can tell it’s not as bad as it was.

I am hearing… the dull sound of my husband listening to a podcast in the other room while he works, the pounding from the workshop right behind our place, the washing machine turning another load of laundry, the click of the keys as I type. Thankfully I’m not hearing my son screaming “moooom, walk! Walk!” as he pulls on my arm (he’s been doing this constantly – “walk” is his word for “come with me”). My sweet friend, Carrie, took Thaddeus outside to play for a while so I could get some stuff done. Thanks, Carrie!!

I am feeling… nauseous. I’ve felt nauseous pretty much non-stop so far this pregnancy, but there were a few days last week were it wasn’t CONSTANT, this week it’s back to a constant feeling. YUCK! I am hoping that as I move farther into my second trimester there will be some relieve, but I also know that when I was pregnant with Thaddeus I didn’t see any real relieve from the nausea until I hit third trimester.

On a less physical level, I’m feeling sort of frazzeled and disconnected right now. Keeping  all that still needs to be done in my head is taking up pretty much all my limited brain power. I try to write things down and get it out, but I still feel like there’s just so much to keep thinking and reminding myself about. That combined with “pregnancy brain” is making me feel, honestly, a bit ditzy.

I am thinking… like I said above, I’m not thinking very well lately and what I am thinking about has been pretty limited to the necessities of packing. I remember talking with a friend who recently moved and trying to talk with her about how she was feeling and how we could help her grieve well and leave well and process the move, and she said that she just couldn’t do that yet and all she could do and focus on was the details of all that needed to be done and decided. At the time I had a hard time understanding that and felt like if it was me leaving I would want to process through everything and really experience all the feelings that go along with a big move, but now that I’m the one packing up and going back to the states (at least for a long while) I completely understand what she meant.

I am thankful… for my friend and neighbor, Carrie. I’m always thankful for Carrie, but especially so this week. In what little time I have been able to process and think beyond packing I just find myself feeling so grateful for her friendship and care over the past four years. I feel so grateful for how she has opened up her life and heart to me, and for how she has so deeply loved my son, Thaddeus. It makes me really sad that we won’t be living with eachother any more and doing daily life together. But, I do also feel confident that our friendship won’t end here.

I am learning… to just take one day at a time. I don’t really have any other choice right now. When I look at what still needs to be done and think about the week ahead I get totally overwhelmed, all I can really do is look at this day and what task is right before me in this moment.

I am reading… again nothing more than the occational blog. I’m starting to get really excited about having a library again, though. I think a trip to the library might have to be one of the first things we do when we get back.

I am creating… again LOTS. I’m still on a total sewing kick. I think that the deadline of leaving has finally given me motivation to finish a bunch of projects I’ve been putting off. I’ve been making cute skirts out of old t-shirt scraps, a quiet book out of old sweater scraps, fabric necklaces out of clothing scraps, pants for Thaddeus out of clothing scraps, purses out of clothing scraps, and more. Working on these projects and dreaming them up has been a highlight of my days lately.

I am craving… PIZZA. I can’t even tell you how badly I’ve been craving pizza. Which is kind of funny because although I’ve always liked pizza, it’s never been a favorite food of mine – there are lots of other things I’ve always liked more. Too bad I’ve been reacting to pretty much everything it takes to make pizza. Oh, well, someday I’ll be able to have pizza again…

One of my favorite things right now… is the TV show Friends. I’m not exactly sure why, but watching Friends is like comfort food for me. Whenever I get stressed or overwhelmed, or a bit depressed, I just want to curl up and watch Friends. Doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it, I still laugh. So, almost every night this past week or so we have watched an episode of Friends (or a couple episodes). Often our friend Carrie has joined us and it has felt so good to just laugh together and forget for a few minutes about packing, and saying goodbye and all the unknowns ahead.

A few plans and intentions for this week…

  • FINISH packing – we leave a week from tomorrow so it REALLY all has to get done this week
  • Say goodbye well – honestly I’m not sure exactly how to do this right now when I feel so jumbled, but I really want to say goodbye well…
  • Walk across Charles Bridge one more time
  • Go to prenatal yoga one more time
  • Give my son some focus and attention amidst the chaos of packing – he really needs it

A prayer for the week…

Lord, God, I don’t really know what to pray right now. Would you pray for me? In Jesus name. Amen.

Rejoicing in the journey - Bethany Stedman

pregnancyBethany Stedman