Today I feel like I have a number of people in my life who are experiencing a stripping down, a confussion, a “dark night of the soul”. Light feels missing, guidance feels lacking, and darkness feels eminent. The darkening reality of the physical world seems to fit well with the confusion and darkness of the soul.

We need light to break through.

And so today I celebrate Winter Solstice by remembering that light is coming back into the world. From this day forth light will slowly, but steadily, grow. Each day will bring more of its warmth; each day will bring more of its clarity. Today marks the turning of the tides.

And so today I pray this for my friends and for myself…

Lord, hold the darkness at bay.
Say unto the night, “This far shall thou come and NO farther.”
Speak life, and light unto our hearts.
Father, light the path before us, we don’t need to know the whole way,
but give us light to see the next step.
Spirit, break through the cold, the dark, the heavy, and lighten the load.
We moan for light. We moan for grace. We moan for You, Lord, Jesus.
Come, light of the world. Come.
Amen.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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EDIT: All the links are added at the bottom of this post now – personally I can’t wait to read what all these wonderful bloggers have to say about Advent. So, grab a cup of tea and join me in checking them all out.

I have to be honest… I’m really struggling with Advent this year.

I want to enter into it and really make my day-to-day life reflect the unique season. I want to have more of a rhythm for our year that includes the rhythm of God’s story. But, I’m not exactly sure how. I have read lots of suggestions. I’ve even tried a lot of them in various past years. But, truth be told, I feel like most of it hasn’t worked well for me. I’m really bad with routines and no matter how hard I try I don’t stick to them… so each Advent I think, oh I’m going to do an advent calendar this year, or I’m going to do an advent wreath or I’m going to do the daily readings from the lectionary for each day of advent, but then I just don’t. Sunday comes and goes without me even realizing it and I forget to light the candles. A week goes by and I realize I’m five days behind on the advent calendar. I start out well with the lectionary, but eventually there’s a day that’s busy full of Christmas prep and party and I forget and then the next day I forget again. This was how it was before I had a kid, I can’t imagine how it would be now, when I can never finish anything and my brain is constantly scattered because of a demanding toddler.

In the past the best way for me to enter into Advent was just to think about, meditation on, pray through and write about the meaning behind the season. I liked the years when I took time to do that. Even though it was informal and I didn’t stick to a schedule or remember to do the advent calendar, I still feel like I entered into Advent during those years.

Lately though, I’m not sure how to do that with a young child. I feel like I don’t have the space or quiet in my life (or mind) to think, meditate or pray more than a quick, jumbled up prayer. Writing has also become a bit of a struggle for me since having a child. I get a little tunnel vision when I write and like to tune everything out and just type, but I can’t do that with a toddler tugging at my leg saying “up, up, maum, up” every few seconds.

Essentially I’m realizing that, as the mother of a toddler the way for me to enter into advent is no longer through the door of the contemplative.

A friend of mine is writing an advent series on her blog with scriptures, prayers, and other resources for reflection and I love what she is doing and definitely recommend you check it out, but as I skimmed her first post I couldn’t help but think, “this is a great tool for experiencing advent for the stage of life that my friend is at, but these tools just don’t fit with the stage in life I find myself in right now.” Case in point, I tried to do the liturgy she posted and was interrupted by my toddler or my husband 4 times before giving up. I later went back and tried to watch one of the videos she recommended while my son was sleeping I got literally 10 seconds into it and he woke up.

On top of realizing that this stage of life is not very condusive to the contemplative I’m also wrestling with wanting to find ways to enter into Advent not as an individual but as a family. I want to experience advent not as something I participate in my own “quiet time” (not sure I have one of those much anymore anyway), but I want to experience advent as a mommy WITH my son. I do not want to separate my spirituality from my mothering, I do not want to practice my spirituality apart from my son, but how do I commune with the divine with a 14 month old? Mother is not something I do it is something I am now. It is not a role that I sometimes play and can sometimes lay aside to pursue spirituality. Mother is what I am. How do I connect with God AS a mother, within my mothering? This is my big question lately, and the smaller aspect of it is how do I connect with Advent, with this small part of God’s big story, within my mothering? How do I engage with Advent with my 14 month old? I have ideas for when my child gets a little bigger, but what about now? Am I supposed to just leave him out of it and try to find moments to myself when I can engage with this season? If that’s the case I’m really not sure I can do that.

How do I experience Advent, or any church season, as the mother of a toddler? How do I experience God as the mother of a toddler? Honestly, I’m not really sure right now. Most of the ways that I have experienced God in the past and connected with his story just don’t work for me now in this stage. So, I find myself really wrestling with this question. Where is God amidst the motherhood? I believe that God is present so how do I find him within my new role as mother.

I don’t have answers, I don’t have it all figured out, I don’t know how to practice Advent as a mother, but I do believe that our spiritual life is a journey and we figure things out one step at a time along the way.

Advent itself is a journey – a journey of waiting. And so today I find myself entering into that journey, simply by presenting my questions before God and before all of you and waiting…waiting for him to speak into my mothering. Waiting for him to speak into my questions.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

What some friends of mine around the blogosphere are saying about Advent:

• John C. O’Keefe – The Season of Adventure
• George at The Love Revolution – The Weak Ghosts of Advent
• Peter at Emerging Christian – Expanding Our Experience of the Advent Journey
• Beth at Beth Stedman.com – Experiencing Advent With A Toddler
• Alan at The Assembling Of The Church – Walking Through Advent Today
• Steve at Emergent Kiwi – Am I Traveling Well?
• Wendy at View From The Bridge – Yearning For a Lived Theology
• Annie at Marginal Theology – Limping Along
• Christen at Greener Grass – Advent – Expecting and Un-Expecting
• Jeff at My Adventures – Journeys and Destinations
• kathy at carnival in my head – making room for the unexpected
• Sonja at Calacirian – Road To Nowhere
• Steve at Khanya – Advent Synchroblog
• Beth at The Virtual Teahouse – Clear-Eyed Gaze of a Stranger
• Phil at Square No More – O Antiphon #1 – This is the first of nine antiphones. Please check Phil’s blogSquare No More regularly for additional updates with the additional 8 antiphones.
• Peggy at Abisomeone – Wandering With The Waiting Abbess
• Cathryn at Love Fiercely – An Advent Prayer
• Sonnie at A Piece of My Mind – Christmas WILL Happen
• Liz at Grace Rules – Advent – A Journey of Awakening
• Andrew at Tall Skinny Kiwi – God Came Near

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I recently read a blog post from Holy Experience about living a celebrated life and bringing beauty and ceremony into the everyday. It really inspired me. I want my son to grow up with the security and comfort that comes from regular, predictable, times of celebration and beauty as well as the surprise moments of celebration. I want him to grow up with a sense of being part of a deep rhythm of life. We are part of a natural rhythm and part of a spiritual rhythm as well and I want him to know that. God himself initiated a structure and rhythm to life when he gave us the gift of the Sabbath as well as the gift of the changing seasons of nature. I want my son to grow up feeling these changes deep in his soul. I want a day of Sabbath, I want seasons of planting, working, harvesting and resting. I want seasons of remembering Jesus’ birth, life and death.

I long for a daily rhythm, a weekly rhythm, a monthly and seasonal rhythm.

As Advent begins, and I find myself once again at the start of a new liturgical year, I’m thinking a lot about what kinds of rhythms and traditions I want to start in my family. How do I want my son to experience seasons? How do I want him to learn about and enter into the liturgical seasons? How do I want him to celebrate and encounter various holidays? Which holidays do I want to make particularly special and how do I want to do that?

It all starts with Advent… how do I want my son to grow up experiencing Advent?

These are all questions I have right now, but I’m not sure I really have answers for them yet. I think that’s ok though, since my son is only 14 months old. But, I do want to be intentional even this year about starting to create some traditions and rituals for our family moving forward.

So, what do you do to celebrate Advent? If you have kids I’m particularly interested to hear how you engage in Advent with them. Please share!

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Read this post to learn more about the O Antiphons.

Today is the last of the O Antiphons. I hope you enjoyed joining me on this journey of prayer and expectation for the coming of Christmas.

December 23^rd: O Emmanuel

“O Emmanuel, our king and our lawgiver,
the hope of the nations and their Savior:
Come and save us, O Lord our God.”

Click here to hear this antiphon in Latin.

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Look, the young woman is with child and shall bear a son, and shall name him Immanuel.” (Isaiah 7:14)

May Emmanuel, the God who is with us always, He who has breathed his very breath into all living things and promises to never leave or forsake those which are his, come to each of us this day and be seen and present with us.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Read this post to learn more about the O Antiphons.

December 22^nd: O Rex Gentium

“O King of the nations, and their desire,
the cornerstone making both one:
Come and save the human race,
which you fashioned from clay.”

Click here to hear this antiphon in Latin.

“For a child has been born for us, a son given us; authority rests upon his shoulders; and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6)

“He shall judge between the nations, and shall arbitrate for many peoples; they shall beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning-hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore.” (Isaiah 2:4)

May the King of ALL, Christ Jesus, who alone has been given authority over all, the bearer of power and the bringer of peace, come to each of us this day.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Read this post to learn more about the O Antiphons.

This antiphon is particularly meaningful for me right now as the motif of light and darkness have been playing around in my head a lot this Advent. You can read some of my thoughts about this Here.

December 21^st: O Oriens

“O Morning Star,
splendor of light eternal and sun of righteousness:
Come and enlighten those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death.”

Click here to hear this antiphon in Latin.

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness – on them light has shined.” (Isaiah 9:2)

May the Morning Star, the “Life-Light”, Jesus, the light of the world, come to each of us this day and pierce our darkness.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

EDIT: I just realized that today is the Winter Solstice and that this antiphon about light falls exactly on the shortest day of the year – so appropriate. I pray that even though this day is short and filled with physical darkness that it would be filled with spiritual light for each of you.

Photograph by Beth Stedman

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Read this post to learn more about the O Antiphons.

December 20^th: O Clavis David

“O Key of David and scepter of the House of Israel;
you open and no one can shut;
you shut and no one can open:
Come and lead the prisoners from the prison house,
those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death.”

Click here to hear this antiphon in Latin.

“I will place on his shoulder the key of the house of David; he shall open, and no one shall shut; he shall shut, and no one shall open.” (Isaiah 22:22)

“His authority shall grow continually, and there shall be endless peace for the throne of David and his kingdom. He will establish and uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time onwards and for evermore.” (Isaiah 9:7)

May the Key of David, He who came to “proclaim freedom for the prisoners and… to release the oppressed”, come to each of us this day and bring freedom to all.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Read this post to learn more about the O Antiphons.

December 19^th: O Radix Jesse

“O Root of Jesse, standing as a sign among the peoples;
before you kings will shut their mouths,
to you the nations will make their prayer:
Come and deliver us, and delay no longer.”

Click here to hear this antiphon in Latin.

“A shoot shall come out of the stock of Jesse, and a branch shall grow out of his roots.” (Isaiah 11:1)

“On that day the root of Jesse shall stand as a signal to the peoples; the nations shall inquire of him, and his dwelling shall be glorious.” (Isaiah 11:10)

May the root of Jesse, the only true King from the line of kings, he who rules over all the earth, come to each of us this day.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Read this post to learn more about the O Antiphons.

December 18^th: O Adonai

“O Adonai, the leader of the House of Israel,
who appeared to Moses in the fire of the burning bush
and gave him the law on Sinai:
Come and redeem us with an outstretched arm.”

Click here to hear this antiphon in Latin.

“… but with righteousness he shall judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the earth; he shall strike the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall kill the wicked. Righteousness shall be the belt around his waist, and faithfulness the belt around his loins.” (Isaiah 11:4-5)

“For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our ruler, the Lord is our king; he will save us.” (Isaiah 33:22)

May Adonai, the Lord of lords, the high judge, rich in mercy, come to each of us this day and in his power bring peace and redemption to all.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Personally I had never heard of the O Antiphon’s until recently, and I am guessing that many of you have never heard of them either. So, since today is the day when the Advent Antiphons begin being read during Vespers (evening prayer) I thought it would be a good time for us to learn about them together.

The word antiphon means response (the literal Greek is “opposite” “voice”). Antiphons are a form of call and response usually song or chanted during a religious service (such as Vespers or Mass). The O Antiphons are a specific set of liturgical prayers said or sung during the last few days of Advent. There are 7 parts to the O Antiphons and traditionally one part is said each of the last 7 days before Christmas Eve. Each antiphon focuses on a particular name of Jesus taken from the prophecies of the Old Testament, particularly the prophecies of Isaiah. Here are each of the seven in order:

December 17^th: O Sapientia (O Wisdom)
December 18^th: O Adonai (O Adonai)
December 19^th: O Radix Jesse (O Root of Jesse)
December 20^th: O Clavis David (O Key of David)
December 21^st: O Oriens (O Morning Star)
December 22^nd: O Rex Gentium (O King of the nations)
December 23^rd: O Emmanuel (O Emmanuel)

The first letters of each of the titles taken backwards spell out the Latin “Ero Cras” which means “Tomorrow, I come.” You may have recognized as you read these that the song “O come, O come, Emmanuel” was written based on these antiphons.

The history of the O Antiphons is not entirely clear, but we do have references to them as far back as the 6^th century and we know that by the 8^th century they were commonly used in Rome and many other churches and monasteries.

I think this tradition of the O Antiphons is a truly beautiful way of engaging in Advent and calling forth the coming of Christ Jesus. So, over the next seven days I will post each of the seven antiphons along with scripture verses to go with them. I hope you find them as meaningful as I do.

Here’s the first one…

December 17: O Sapientia

“O Wisdom, coming forth from the mouth of the Most High,
reaching from one end to the other mightily,
and sweetly ordering all things:
Come and teach us the way of prudence.”

Click here to hear this antiphon in Latin.

“The spirit of the Lord shall rest on him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. His delight shall be in the fear of the Lord.” (Isaiah 11:2-3)

“…he is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in wisdom.” (Isaiah 28:29)

May Jesus, wisdom himself, the origin and keeper of all insight and understanding, come to each of us this day.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

photograph by Beth Stedman

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