Archive for the ‘Conversations with God’ Category

Calm the Sea, Lord

July 1st, 2008

Today I feel tired… and uncertain. My thoughts feel scattered. I feel worried even though I know that this dark and unclear path is the path that God Himself is leading us down.

I decided to do the prayer on Sacred Space today and the verse for the day was this:

Matthew 8:23-27
And when Jesus got into the boat, his disciples followed him. A windstorm arose on the sea, so great that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him up, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a dead calm. They were amazed, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?”

I felt God speaking to me in it. “Yes, there is a storm brewing, yes, the waves are crashing, but Bethany, I am here and I will protect you. Come to me.” After reading the passage I wrote this (using the I am Template from Kathy Escobar’s site – though I admittedly didn’t follow the rules exactly):

i am easily scared and distracted
i wonder… What God is calling me to?
i hear whispers on the wind
i see waves crashing against my tinny boat
i want direction, guidance, and safety
i am confused and uncertain
i pretend that I am in control
i feel scared, unsure and small
i touch the sleeping Christ beside me
i worry that the waves will crash in around me
i cry “Lord, save us! We are perishing!”
i am listening, Lord, lead me
i understand that I am one of little faith
i say “Oh, Lord, you are my help and my salvation, my refuge in times of trouble, my guide in times of uncertainty.”
i dream of a new role, a new calling… a calm sea
i try to listen, trust and obey
i hope to become that which he calls me to be
i am His child

Rejoicing in the journey -
Beth Stedman

Photograph by Beth Stedman

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Conversations with God: Rest Child

June 27th, 2008

I hear God whispering questions to my soul…

God: “Are you going to listen to me or are you going to listen to your circumstances. Are you going to follow me or are you just going to to give up? Are you going to let me walk you through the desert or are you going to run back to Egypt? Are you going to let me spin my cocoon of change around you or are you going to fight to remain a caterpillar? Will you follow me, Bethany, even when the way is unclear and everything seems to be upside down? Will you follow me into my upside down kingdom?”

Me: “Lord, I want to follow you, but the way is unclear and the path uncertain… and I’m scared.  I don’t want to give up… I won’t give up. I won’t just run back to the easy road. I won’t return to Egypt… but, Lord, could you just tell me where to go instead? Would you tell me what to do next?”

God: “Rest. Stop doing. Just be. I will lead you and I will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it. For now, just be. Be the beautiful, creative, intelligent woman I made you to be, Bethany.”

Me: “But, Lord, I don’t FEEL beautiful, creative or intelligent – I feel awkward most of the time.”

God: “Bethany, it’s not about feeling, it’s about truth. Let me speak my truth about you.”

Me: “But, even if I did believe what you say about me… I wouldn’t know where to bring my beauty, creativity, or intellect – what should I do with the gifts you’ve given me? Where do I fit? What are you calling me to?…”

God: (Interrupting)”… Shhhh. Quiet, my dear child. Be still. You do not have to have all the answers. You do not have to know what to do right now. Just do the small things that I place in front of you. Follow me. Listen to me. Rest in me. And slowly I’ll take you where I want you to go.”

Me: “… Here, I am…Speak, Lord, for your servant listens…”

Rejoicing in the journey -
Beth Stedman

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