I love astronomy. The study of celestial objects has always been a source of amazement for me. If you can, for a moment, imagine life before the universe was. God in all his great power and awesomeness, surrounded by angels, looked into the vast blackness of the universe and said “I am lonely”. I sometimes look out at the night sky and wonder, if for just a moment, I could see that. Trust me, that is a terrifying thought.

I have trouble asking God for things, just like I have trouble asking people for things. I have always been independent above all things. I have never needed another human being to do anything for me. This becomes hard for all the wonderful men in my life who want nothing more than to help me when it comes to appliance repair or car repair.

If you have never fixed something, I suggest your try it, it’s amazingly satisfying. When the thermostat broke on my refrigerator, rather than calling in a repair man, I spent a few hours online trying to assess the problem. With all the appliance repair websites online I couldn’t bring myself to call in a professional. Five hours later I found myself the proud owner of a working refrigerator, much to the chagrin of every male in my family who was ready to call up his buddy to fix the problem or fix it himself.

Imagine, if you will, not actually needing anyone for anything. You don’t need your husband to fix your car (this drives men nuts, trust me). That heavy package you just got, you will find a way to get it up the steps all by yourself. Sure no one can help you move your couch up three flights of stairs, but you can do it all by yourself. It’s liberating, but lonely.

Since I moved out of my parents house at 17 (I graduated from High School and moved to my college town that summer) I have never actually needed another human being, except in extreme circumstances, and even then I spent hours trying to find a way to get on by myself. When a bad blizzard hit I drove home very late at night. I made it a large potion of the way through many cars that were pulled over to the side. I was within a few miles of home when the someone in front of me, who couldn’t drive in snow, wrecked, forcing me to stop, leaving me sliding backwards down a hill. I parked my car, climbed out, and was prepared to walk a mile and a half home when an ambulance came by and I accepted a ride, only because it was almost 10pm and I was not prepared to fight wild animals. It’s not within me to need another person. I want people, which is a totally different feeling, and for anyone who feels the same, a lot more intense. “Better with you, but fine by myself,” as a wise friend once told me.

It means my feelings are hurt a lot more and I try twice as hard to hold them in. It means when I love you I really don’t expect you to ever do anything for me, but when you do it’s so amazing and wonderful I can’t help but feel so grateful. When I love you, and I don’t see you I miss you like crazy and want so badly to see my friend, my love, my family, but I don’t want to impose. I think that’s how God feels, but his scale is infinitely larger. Here is this great divine creator who actually can get by without us, but instead, chooses to want people. God created us so he could be with us, not because he needed us, and that is a wonderful feeling.

But here is the catch, we need him. God designed us to need him, and we do, it’s imprinted on our DNA. Everyone is searching for meaning in life, when in the end, being with God is the very reason for our existence. That’s where I have my problem, needing God. I know in the end I do need him, as I am constantly reminded in little ways. I still can’t help my nature, wanting to do things on my own and never ask him for anything. But I need to. I need to ask him to help guide me through everyday and be there with me. I need him to remind me that sometimes it’s okay to be helpless and needy.

God, our great creator, made man, and still man was lonely. Man had God and with all that love man still needed a companion. “It is not right that man should be alone,” as it says in Genesis. So true. That’s why God created woman, and man and woman need each other. We are supposed to need one another at some point in our lives and thus need God. So why is it so hard? Why do some of us fight so hard to be independent from everyone. Most of my closest friends are die hard hermits and it takes an act of congress to get them to go anywhere. I am not the easiest person either. We are self sufficient, and don’t realize that we need to need people. We should go to church to fellowship with people of similar faith, because we need the reminder that God is amazing.

I try. Sometimes I have to let a stranger fix my washing machine because I can’t fix it myself. Sometimes when my car blows up, literally, I need a lift. It kills me to not be able to do things on my own, but it’s just God’s way of reminding me that I need to need people. He made us that way. So I grit my teeth and pray for the patience to be okay with it. God loves to nudge me. Some of the situations I have gotten into have to make me laugh and just prove that God has a wonderful sense of humor. I think sometimes that is the only way anyone can get my attention. I have learned to laugh at a lot of things that would make most people cry. So when life throws me a grenade I simply laugh and throw a sandbag on it.

This year when I made my resolutions, my biggest was to need people more, and here is hoping it works out. I am trying to be more patient. Trying to be around people more often and really enjoy their company. In the end it’s what God wants. We are supposed to be a light spread God’s love to the world, which is hard to do by yourself.

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I have to start off this post by saying that I am not necessarily writing out of experience. Because I have only been married a little over a year, and do not have the luxury of a 32-year marriage like my wonderful sister and previous blogger Lisa Stedman, I decided to share some thoughts that I have on the purpose and function of marriage, and the hope for my own marriage

What is so intriguing to me about marriage is what it is. There’s no doubt that if you asked 10 people what marriage is, at least 9 of them would say, “A commitment”. This is absolutely true. However, as beautiful as a lifelong commitment is and can be, if we reduce marriage down to only that, we miss out on the depth, beauty and purpose of marriage.

So if marriage is not just a commitment, then what is it? Well, to get the answer we must go to a source that defines what marriage is, the Bible. Probably one of the clearest definitions of marriage is found in Ephesians 5. Paul is writing to the church in Ephesus and speaking about this topic, and quoting the Creator of marriage Himself, he pens these words:

“’Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and ^the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”’ (Eph. 5:31, 32)

Whenever God creates something, He does it with incredible purpose and marriage is no different. In fact, I believe that marriage has one of the greatest purposes in the world. And that is to be a picture to the world of what God did for us through Jesus on the cross, and our response to that.

Stories and pictures are tools used by teachers to help the listeners understand, with even more clarity, the point of the story. God is no different, and when thinking about how to clearly portrayhow fulfilling and beautiful a relationship with Him could be, He decided to use marriage. That’s why a couple verses before Paul gives his explanation we just read, he instructs husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and ^gave himself up for her”. And that the wives, in response to the sacrifice of their husbands, should “submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” If this is happening in a marriage, it is functioning as a picture to the rest of the world of what being in a relationship with God is like. I can’t help but think of Jesus’ words in John 17 when He says,

“The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.”

If nothing else, I hope this post serves as a reminder that there is such a beautiful purpose in our marriage that goes beyond ourselves. That if we fulfill our God-given roles in our marriages, the world might know that God sent Jesus and loves them even as He loved Him. In my opinion, there couldn’t be a more fulfilling or rewarding purpose for our marriages than this.

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Mark and I were married almost eleven years ago. It is hard to believe. We have lived together on three continents and have weathered many storms our circumstances (and our fiery tempers) have thrown our way. There are stories of our life together that we’ve named “the-third-time-we-almost-got-divorced” and literally times (especially when we were working in a boarding school in rural Uganda) when we weren’t even on speaking terms. We’ve had good advice (“listen to HOW you are saying that, not just what you are saying”) and bad advice (“just have more sex”). But advice doesn’t really work for us, we kind of have to walk through it ourselves, groping our way along this beautiful, but rocky path.

So the best thing we can share about marriage is where to go for HELP. We went through pre-marital counseling with our beloved Pastor Howard using Dan Allender’s book Intimate Allies. Our Pastor warned us that it is designed more for people who have been married for five years, but he liked to do it before getting married so you know what you are up against. Not only is marriage the most intimate relationship you will ever have, and the most reflective of God’s great love for you; it is also the most damaging relationship you’ll ever have, and your spouse is capable of wounding you far deeper and far more quickly that anyone else. This book recalls an image from The Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo et al are up on Weathertop preparing to hold off the Nazgul, and the party turns their backs in toward each other and their weapons out, protecting each other. (There is a similar scene in Mr. & Mrs. Smith!) Each year that we are married we turn our backs in a little quicker and with less inadvertent damage by unwieldy swords! (The tongue is a double-edged sword, btw!)

We found ourselves at an impasse about five years into our journey. Living in rural Uganda, working in a very tough environment, with no one around with extra energy to help us work out our junk. We really couldn’t say anything to each other without taking it the wrong way and turning into another fight. We remembered Howard’s counsel that this book (Intimate Allies) was better for five years in, so we pulled it off the shelf, blew off the dust and started reading again. We made intentional space to work through it together. We would go away for a long weekend once a month, and read through one chapter, talk through the issues and questions and spend some time really praying together. And it really helped us to START communicating better again. (Of course there’s no book that can “fix” our marriage…but we appreciate the direction this one has given us.)

Now we are in Prague, with two kids. We do life together a little bit better now, but really we just have a lot more space and excuses and other things going on, so we HIDE our junk a LOT better. We’ve hit another rough spot these past few years, so naturally, we were EXCITED to see Dan Allender published a whole marriage SERIES. The Intimate Mystery and the bible studies that spring from it called Intimate Marriage Series, have been fun and insightful. So in our TENTH year of marriage, we decided to rally together a Marriage group (which Bethany and Bryan also attend) here in Prague. This marriage group has been fantastic. We are building intimacy and communication in our marriages, but also in this small community. We are building some accountability and trust. We share the hard stuff and the victories. It’s kind of like a holy group therapy. I am so thankful for the encouragement and the hope that these other four couples bring to us. And it is perfect timing for us.

So take these resources and explore them for yourselves, or tuck them in the back of your mind for someday when you need a little nudge toward loving each other better. Mark and I find, that in our marriage, when we love each other better, it multiplies how much love we can extend toward others.

Joanna Stewart works with World Harvest Mission. She and her husband, Mark lived and taught in rural Uganda for three years; and they are now living in Prague. She is the mercy coordinator for Faith Community Church and spends her time trying to learn how to serve people in the city in the name of Christ. Her hobbies are cooking, knitting, and trying to keep her sons Sasha (4) and Izaak (1) from bleeding.

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In the beginning, God created the “and”. He created the heavens AND the earth, the sun AND the moon, the land AND the seas, creatures in the ocean AND in the air. It is as though for each thing He makes, He also fashions a counterpart….He does not choose one OR the other but creates with an all encompassing AND.

As a crowning glory on His of work of art, the scriptures tell us, “male AND female He created them”. He sets up a holy, beautiful tension between these two like-yet-different creatures and we have had to live with it ever since!

See, when we first got married, I am not sure we knew how to live in the “AND”. I really thought my husband and I were so much alike. As we dated, the similarities were striking and I was amazed at how his view on life was so much like mine!! We liked the same things, thought the same thoughts, believed the same things…and there was some truth to that. However, there was some truth to the fact that “either/or” thinking was deeply engrained in both of us. It was either what he wanted or what I wanted; someone would have to switch their ways. It was a small world to live in. There was only room for one kind of something – 1 answer, 1 truth, 1 person. It was a world that valued a soulmate who was made out of the same substance rather than a counterpart who was quite different.

We got married in this paradigm and now it makes me laugh. I think it was God’s way of (lovingly) tricking us into getting to the alter! They say love is blind and covers a multitude of sins, to which I respond “yes, but the length of marriage not only heals our eyesight, but proceeds to uncover all our dirt!”. For us, God had us come together in the safety of marriage so then He could break down our “either/or” thinking in order to lead us into His large and sometimes paradoxical AND.

(I wrote this a few years ago as I was wrestling through being different from my husband…)

Are David and I soulmates? No. Elizabeth Barrett Browning once wrote “whatever the stuff souls are made of, ours are the same substance.” Not so with David and I. Our souls are made of different stuff but they do need each other – to find completeness in the other.

Take sodium & chloride – individually, they are toxic, dangerous elements but together they literally become salt to the world. We are like that. I need him, he needs me. I have a mystic bent; he is a systematic theologian. He wants labels, categories, governing dynamics; I thrive within inexplicable events. He is the voice of reason and logic; I am the voice of imagination and emotion. He is paralyzed by fear, but when fear comes I am ready to pick up my sword and fight. I am paralyzed by being overwhelmed, but in the midst of that he gets calm and becomes an anchor embedded in rock, not tossed by the turbulent seas of emotion.

No, David is not my soulmate – for that would be far too small and easy. It could not stretch my faith or provide the practice field for increasing strength, endurance, and honing the skills given by the Creator. No, he is not my soulmate; he is my completer.

So what does this mean in marriage? It means I do not live in the fantasy of being the same nor in the aloofness of being different. I stand in the reality of our differences and learn to embrace the largeness of male AND female. I learn to share my perspective knowing that it is necessary but not complete. I know I do not need to diminish who I am but do not need to defend it either. And I bring all I am to the table of marriage and he does the same AND somehow in the feasting we become more than what we were.

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I have found in my 32 years of being married, that marriage can be an incredibly wonderful experience as well as a hellish one, and that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage because it consists of two imperfect beings. I do believe that marriage is a gift from God, one that should not be taken for granted, and that it is worth all the time, work, and effort it takes to build. There are many ingredients to a healthy and successful marriage.

The first one being Trust. We build trust by allowing ourselves to be accountable to one another as well as surrounding ourselves with those who will ask us the hard questions and keep us accountable. We can create and nurture emotional intimacy by being transparent with one another in a loving and accepting way. As we build trust, it breeds security and respect for each other, which allows us to know that our partner has the health of the marriage as the main priority in everything he or she does.

Forgiveness is essential to a healthy marriage. I have learned that forgiving someone that has wronged you, is not forgetting or even condoning the behavior, but showing grace and choosing reconciliation. It has taken my husband and me many years to bring our two very different ways of conflict resolution together to make them work. Rather than ignoring the situation with cold silence, we’ve learned to talk about the issue as soon as we were able. Sometimes it took awhile to cool down, gain perspective and think clearly, but we learned that resolving it as soon as possible was best for the health of the marriage.

Effective communication means verbalizing needs and listening carefully. We can not expect to go through our marriage without having to face conflict. God made us different, both with faults and strengths, however made to help each other grow spiritually. Learning effective communication skills will certainly help your marriage grow. We learned that “reflective listening” helped us hear what the other was trying to communicate. When one of us would relay a message, the other would repeat back what we heard. We were surprised to find out that many times we heard something that was not even said. This allowed us to clarify what the true issue was before jumping to wrong conclusions and responding prematurely.

One ingredient that is very important to me is Laughter. Humor keeps our marriage fresh and fun. Laughing together has the ability to form two people into kindred spirits, soul mates. Studies have proven that laughter is good for your health and can relieve stress and even pain by producing a natural tranquilizing effect on the body. Laughter can only take place when you spend time together. When you laugh together, the result is bonding and friendship. Laughter, and the resulting friendship, is comfortable, enjoyable and deeply satisfying. Laughter is about connecting. Finding a way to laugh about difficult issues helps you take yourself less seriously, and helps you put problems into focus.

Love and Romance are wonderful qualities to a healthy marriage. In the beginning, it seems to come more naturally than as time goes on, but it is crucial to put effort in keeping this aspect of your union alive. We have found that keeping a “date night” at least once a month is a good way to accomplish this. Once kids enter the picture, it becomes even more important to put the time and effort into keeping the love and romance alive. We have found that the best thing we can do for our kids is to love one another, have a healthy relationship and be a good example for them.

Ultimately, a good marriage is built on a foundation of love; but the bricks-and-mortar that rest on that foundation, such as communication, respect, and spending time together, take some effort. I would like to end with a prayer that I wrote down many years ago, and go back to many times: Lord, you truly are the giver of gifts and the author of marriage.

Lord, thank you for the gift you have given me in my husband. I know in the depths of my soul that you are trust worthy, faithful, all knowing, caring and loving and you knew what you were doing when you gave this gift to me. Help me receive this gift as you intended, help me cherish the differences and see how our gaps fit together instead of resenting them. Help me take on your character to enable me to participate in this union as I truly was meant to. Amen

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(Photo from Foundationphasewales.com)

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” ~ Pablo Picasso

Children have an endless supply of creative energy. I see it when my nieces originate their own songs and dance moves; when my friend’s son takes a stack of white paper and a pencil and writes his own adventure stories. Children can make something out of nothing. Because they don’t care what people think they can authentically explore their uniqueness. I wish I had the imagination I did when I was 5!

As we grow up it seems that in our (American) culture, imagination and creativity are seen as childish and therefore we need to “grow up” and “live in reality”. Personally, I am passionate about art and allowing imagination and creativity to grow and I have my own mother to thank for that.

I grew up with an incredibly artistic and talented mother. She was born and raised in New York City and spent much of her childhood attending ballets, Broadway, piano and guitar lessons and spent her evenings writing poetry. Naturally, from the time I was very young she instilled a deep desire to explore my creative side and not feel pressured to think only “inside the box”.

If you want to encourage your child’s creativity start here:

• Remember that creativity is not just a project or after school distraction. Encourage your kids to see the value in art. Take them to a museum, a gallery, a cooking demonstration. Allow them to witness others living out their unique talents. Ask the right questions. Find what kind of art your children like and take the time to explore that with them.
• As an artist, I can say that I need my space in order to create. As much as you want to encourage your child, don’t hover or feel the need to monitor at all times. Allow them a safe environment to explore. Honestly, they don’t need us to tell them how to draw, build or design something. If anything, we can learn so much more by watching them! Also, refrain from giving judgment or too much critique. Remember that art is as unique as people are, and despite how you may want to react, your child needs to feel that what they offer to the art world holds value. Love them for their willingness to try, not the end result.
• Offer guidance in whatever ways you can. If you enjoy cooking, bring your child into the kitchen with you and offer them the opportunity to participate. If you play an instrument, share your love of music. Whatever it may be, don’t hold back. Art is meant to be shared.
• Lastly, it’s important that originality is cultivated. The greatest innovators have always been those who thought differently from the rest. Just think how different our world would be if people like The Wright Brothers, Pablo Picasso or even J.K. Rowling were not encouraged to be themselves, original and full of imagination.

To see a few young artists’ creativity, check out the International Child Art Foundation’s gallery.

Here’s a fun family art project that everyone can participate in!

Using an old toy chest, a cardboard box, etc you and spend time with your family making a family keepsake box; something to hold your mementos for years to come.  I love using recycled materials and craft supplies including glue, stencils, markers, paint, newspaper or used colored tissue paper  and gift wrap.

Get creative and cut out a variety of shapes and use lots of color! Let each family member design and contribute something that expresses who they are. The best part is deciding what to include in the keepsake box. My family has placed old movie ticket stubs, vacation photos, souvenirs, foreign money, music CDs that we all like, anything that reminds of quality time together. Ours even has a jar of sand and a small sombrero from a trip to Mexico. Take pictures of your family during this project and use those as the first memento to go in the box!

Kara is a believer in living life creatively and holistically. Her passion for art has led her on many adventures through the years and she now enjoys sharing her creative gifts with aspiring young artists. Kara’s interest in a holistic lifestyle was fueled after years of being frustrated with traditional, Western medicine which caused her to step into the world ofalternative medicine. Shortly after making a few basic changes to her lifestyle, she saw results and now feels empowered to share with others the benefits of preventative, natural medicine. Her personal goal is to live as physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy and thriving as possible, 100% of the time and encourage others to do the same. You can follow her thoughts and travels at her blog: karabess.wordpress.com

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A few weeks ago I was sitting in the front yard of a dear friend of mine, Becky, soaking up some sunshine and watching our children splash around on their slip and slide. Both of us mommas are pregnant so it didn’t take long before we needed a snack and some water. Out she comes with some fresh made Pico De Gallo Salsa and a side of corn chips. It was delicious, refreshing and enjoyed by all.
The fallowing day I invited another special friend to come over with her children to enjoy playing on our home made “water park”, a sprinkler set up under the trampoline. Super fun!

This friend, also pregnant, and I wanted something cool, sweet and tart, maybe with a little spice.
I had some Jalipanios left over from some homemade Jalipanio Poppers we made a few nights earlier, a late night craving that my wonderful husband helped satisfy with a quick run to the store. I knew we had a Mango in the fridge as well as onlion, tomato, bell pepers ect.  I started cutting, and dicing the fruit and veggies with the thought of Becky’s Salsa from the day before vividly in mind.
Here is what I came up with:

Mango Salsa
1 whole diced mango
1/2 a large white onion diced
1 large tomato chopped
2 whole Jalapenos, seeded and finely diced
1 orange, red, or yellow bell pepper chopped
(you can also mix and match the Bell Peppers to make it more colorful)
1 small handful cilantro, torn
Juice from one small Lime
1 Tbl. Rice Vinegar
1 Pinch of Sea Salt

We ate the whole batch and I found out later that Marianne went home and made her own batch…
Since then I have made it for our family, as gifts dropped off at a friends who was having a rough day and a BBQ we went to over the weekend.
I have heard that almost everyone who has had it, goes to their kitchen and makes up their own batch. Some with the mango, but others have used Peach, or Pineapple.
I hope you are able to try this tasty salsa. Enjoy it with some chips, or over some grilled fish.
Let me know how you like it and what changes you make. I love to play around with recipes and get inspiration from others.

Special thanks to Becky for a fun day and the inspiration!

I’m contributing this post to Two for Tuesdays this week and also Slightly Indulgent Tuesdays. Check out the links for lots of other great posts.

I am the wife of a phenomenal husband and my dearest friend.
I am the mother of four beautiful children, one of which is to still in Utero.
I am pregnant and LOVE it!
I live in the beautiful state of Washington.
I am the supporter of many, but close friend to a few wonderful people.
I love to be outdoors, exploring the world and playing with my children.
I am an aspiring crafty person and trying my hand at sewing, knitting and art.
I love food, eating it, cooking it, cutting it and picking it.
I enjoy reading many books, and researching online as well as learning from my educated friends and mentors.
I have delivered all three of my children at home and planning to have this next baby in the same peaceful manner.
I am an advocate for breastfeeding and peaceful parenting.
I love families and enjoy supporting them during their journey.
I am blessed to have a relationship with the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob.

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Have you ever been in a public place when somebody blurted something out that made everyone else around turn red with embarrassment? Quite a few years ago, standing in the checkout line at Target, my little son stood up in the cart and, at the top of his lungs, yelled…“Mom…I need to go psssst!!!” and then proceeded to point to those body parts that mothers wish their kids wouldn’t point to in public.

I am not totally sure what I did, but I am sure I wished that I could have looked around bewildered, asking how some strange child (obviously not mine!) had gotten into my cart. Embarrassed, I did not want to claim this one as my own!!

Now, quite a few years later, I am coming to realize that how I felt that day in Target is oftentimes how I feel about the deep desires within my heart. Their strength and volume embarrass and, honestly, scare me.

The “good religious girl” in me is unnerved by the deep rumblings of my soul and asks questions like:

• what about being selfless and sacrificing?
• what if this leads you away from God?
• can you really trust the desires of your heart?
• aren’t they full of sin and marred by your depravity?
• what if you name your desire and then realize it can’t be lived?
• isn’t desiring bad?
• shouldn’t you just read the Bible and “do”?
• what if a desire is in opposition to what God wants?

She asks all these questions in rapid fire succession, all while glancing around nervously to be sure nobody actually heard the stated desire out loud.

It is not that those questions are bad, but it is here where I get stuck. Do I stay where I am or do I journey into desire? And what if I lose my way on the journey? Some of the spiritual authors I read – CS Lewis, John Eldridge, Sue Monk Kidd, Ruth Haley Barton – all speak of this journey into exploring our desires. But if I were to be honest, I am afraid at the force of the desires that press against my heart and make me feel like they will undo me. I am afraid to say them out loud for others to hear…for me to hear…for God to hear. I am afraid to want.

As I sit silently with this longing ache, I am reminded of the story of Bartimaeus and Jesus in Mark 10. It is a story of much shouting, and shushing and eventually poignnant question asking.

In the narrative the blind beggar Bartimaeus knows that Jesus is near and does not want to waste the opportunity; he begins to cry out!! Interestingly, his cry is “Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me!!!” It is from this portion of Scripture that we get our orthodox “Jesus Prayer”, and it dawned on me that it is a cry of desperation and longing for Jesus to stop…pay attention…and notice. It is the cry of utter longing mixed with the physical reality of a present state of total blindness. It is the state I find myself in as I take the journey of desire.

If we read on in the passage, we can see that these longing shouts unnerve the crowd. People try to shut Bartimaeus up. His desire and his loud cries are embarrassing them. But Bartimaeus chooses not to listen and cries out all the louder…”Son of David!! Mercy, have mercy on me!!”

Jesus stops. He has noticed. He calls this loud, raw, longing, blind beggar over. And then He asks him the question…”What do you want Me to do for you?…What do you want?…”

At this point Bartimaeus has a choice. Will he actually risk saying out loud what his deepest longing is? Does he have the guts to say to the Son of God what it is he wants? Does he risk looking stupid in front of others and Jesus to name his desire?

These are the questions that we, who journey with desire, must all face. Will we say out loud what is in our hearts and wait for the answer from the Master? For me…I am learning that God is large enough to handle my desire. He is gentle enough to sometimes say no and good enough to sometimes say yes. He is capable enough to transform my wanting into new and surprising desires too. And He is risky enough to not be afraid or embarrassed of it all.

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I’ve been on a journey for around 13 years now in “finding myself”. Interestingly, part of finding out more of who I really am, started when I began to learn about who God is. I became a Jesus-follower when I was almost 18 and from that point forward, I have honestly sensed God’s involvement in my life. I have been on an incredible adventure of following Him, in real-life issues, challenges and decisions. I’d like to share how a story from the Scriptures has touched my life in a very real way. As you read Matthew 14:22-34, try to visualize the story of Peter and how he stepped out onto the water in the midst of a storm to walk towards Christ.

22Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat was already a considerable distance[a] from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28″Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29″Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

34When they had crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret. 35And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him 36and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.

This is actually pretty crazy. The fourth watch of the night, means it was around 3 in the morning! I don’t know why Peter did it or what he was thinking. Ultimately I believe he stepped out of the boat because he trusted Jesus; Peter really believed that Jesus would take care of him and support him. Years ago I came across this passage, in a season of transition in my life. I was laid off from work, in the midst of uncertainty, trying to find my calling in life. After reading this passage I realized a few things.

I realized that there were other people in the boat. They were disciples of Christ, believers of His teachings and truly followed Him. These people watched this whole scene with Jesus and Peter. On the other hand, Peter risked it all. He had to trust in Jesus and nothing else. God still loved those who were on the boat. God did amazing things through those followers. But, Peter, was a little different. Peter, unlike the others, knew the actual experience of following Jesus onto the water and even what it was like to fear and be caught by Jesus. I became very inspired by this. I decided with certainty that I want to experience following God and not just observe the things God can do in a person’s life. After reading this, I told God that I wanted to be like Peter, and step out of the boat, into life, in such a way that I can only trust in Him alone.

And, shortly after, my husband and I decided to church plant in Prague, Czech Republic. I had lived my whole life in the Chicago-suburbs; although I moved often, I was very familiar with Midwestern America and that’s about it. It was a huge move and a huge-cultural shift. The motivation that brought me to say “yes” to this adventure was that I imagined myself leaping into Jesus arms and trusting Him alone with my life. I wanted to know Him more though this decision. It was hard to be a “tree” and be replanted in a new culture, new language, and to build brand-new friendships. I cannot imagine where my life would be if I hadn’t faced my fears and in my own way, like Peter, stepped out on the water to trust Christ. We were in Prague for 3 years, and I learned so much, grew in incredible ways, and faced some truths about myself that helped me mature. And, even more than all that, my faith in God grew.

We moved back to the States in June 2009, and now, a year later, I am still feeling in transition. This last year, in many ways, seemed crazier and more adventurous and unknown than our journey heading to Prague! We moved back to a bad US economy where my husband didn’t have a job, I was 6 months pregnant, planning on a homebirth, unsure of a midwife and had no place to deliver my child; we were in temporary housing arrangements, uncertain of exactly which state we’d land in, and in the midst of reverse culture-shock. I could share many details about all that, but again, in the midst of the unknown, I experienced what God can do in a life that trusts in Him.

And now, I’m in a new season of trusting in God. As of yesterday, I have part-time job leading a ministry at my church for families who have a loved one with special needs. God has touched my heart deeply about this ministry and ultimately that my calling is to love God and love people. That’s what I believe life is all about. I have the opportunity to love people who are often ignored, overlooked, or even avoided. I have a chance to help others grow in understanding and loving these people as well. I have the chance to get to know God’s heart more. Who He is. How He loves. What He cares about. I am excited about this. Once again, I feel that I have followed God into this. I believe again, that I am stepping out of the boat like Peter, trusting Jesus to be there when I fear and to be with me in the unknown.

As I transition my family into a new rhythm, one of my concerns is how to continue providing natural, “real” food for my family in the midst of working 2-3 days a week, coming home around 5pm. I’d love to hear feedback on how any of you do it. How do you prepare your food in advance? What kinds of meals do you make that take just 25-30 minutes to prepare?

Thanks for reading. (And if you have any resources or experience or a loved one with special needs, please share! I’d love to learn all I can.)

Here is a blessing/prayer for those of us in any kind of transition:

God, circle us with your unending love.

Calm us with your strong embrace.

Give us the wisdom and discernment we need to

remain centered as things swirl around us.

Be our constant O God.

Keep us above the waters of Life that sometimes want to pull us down.

Give us peace that passes understanding.

Give us moments of refreshment and delight,

Calm our nerves and quiet unwelcome worries.

May we be blessed as we endure

Bless us as we love others, serve and lead.

May we not fear but trust You are with us.

As we put our Hope in You, may we rise up with wings like eagles

And know we are Yours.

May it be well with our souls. Amen.

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I am not a woman. I cannot pretend I have felt, lived through, experienced, suffered or wrestled with the decision of giving or not giving birth to an unwanted baby. Yet I have compassion for women in this situation and the last thing I wish for them is to be persecuted, punished or being outcast. In a way I think it is not fair that women are way more affected by giving birth or not giving birth than men – regardless how involved men are.

We as a society and fellow humans must respect and acknowledge that women that do not want to give birth to their child are already put on a burden that seems too much to carry. We have the obligation to come and support and help and endure with them.

Nevertheless I want to speak out for those humans that share life with me on this earth. I want to speak out for those that do not have a voice. They are my brothers and sisters and therefore I am qualified to speak out for them.

I strongly feel it is not right to give in to what seems so fair: ‘let her not have the child’. I strongly disagree that one (or more) human beings have the right to end someone else’s life. Why does the most vulnerable, innocent person not have a right to live? Why can it be sent to death because the father or mother or the society as a whole decides so? Since when is a human life only valued as such if it is desired? Where else in our society does someone have the ‘right to choose’ over someone else’s life?

Let’s say my grandmother is sick and I have to take care of her and I cannot afford to look after her or I just simply think this is inconvenient for me. Why can’t I just push her down the staircase? If it is about me and my social or economical situation then this should also be ok to do that, no?

No. I cannot just end someone else’s life because it is not my life and I cannot end it. That’s why.

And this is not because I am a Christian or anything else. This is because I want to live in a society that honors life.

We should really stop making this a religious question anything more than caring for the elders, paying our taxes or coming up with a good health care plan.

I like Obama. I think he would be the better president. And I actually would probably vote for him if I carried the right passport. Yet it bothers me that he is inconsistent. With his health care plan he says: we need to protect every American. We need to protect children. We cannot just let the parents make the choice if they want to ensure the children or not. Health insurance must extend to everybody.

I agree with him. I think it is a good plan. But then when it comes to abortion he suddenly says: the mother is able to take the best decision for her baby. She is most qualified to decide.

Why can’t the parents decide if their children get health insurance but apparently can decide if the child will live or die? I don’t get it.

What personally woke me up and made me aware of this was statistics I have lately seen. Only in the US more than 1,2 million babies get aborted every single year. Source: http://www.abort73.com/HTML/II-A-abortion_statistics. ( I think this is one out of three conceived babies)This is just so incredible. As a comparison: on 9/11 we had about 3000 people dying on a single day and wars in Afghanistan and Iraq happened as a consequence. With abortions this amount of people die every single (!) day and nothing really seems to happen as a consequence.

What I would propose to do about it on a governmental level:

1. Start with having a restricted abortion policy. In Germany (where I am from) for example, abortions can only legally be done to the 12^th week and a medical or social reason must be given and approved by a doctor.

Source: http://www.pro-leben.de/abtr/abtreibung_daten.php

I think it is totally inacceptable and horrifying that in many western European countries and also the USA you can abort a child an hour before it gets born without giving even a reason. I can see how people argue about early abortions but to kill a fully grown baby just because it didn’t yet come out of the mother’s womb is just incredible.

2. Women that go through unwanted pregnancies must get government and financial help to get through and deliver the baby. Economical reasons should get entirely ruled out.

3. To give the child up for adoption must become much easier. Also bureaucratic hurdles in adopting a child must get a lot more straightforward.

4. Change the laws so abortions with some restricted, defined and very limited exceptions (which have to be monitored in a transparent way by an independent institution) should become illegal. When slavery was legal there were only a few people that thought it was a bad thing. Now it’s illegal and people also think it is a bad thing. But it took a while. We shape the conscious of a society if we ok with our laws certain things. Changing the laws will slowly then also change how people feel about abortions. I know for this we need majorities. Every little step helps. The little I can do I want to do for it.

Mathias Schwender

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Check out these links to hear what others are saying:

Abortion Politics and Christianity

The Moral Minefield

Politics and Abortion: Impromptu Synchroblog

Dr. James Howell on the Divisive Issue of Abortion

The Politics of Abortion: The Moral Minefield

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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