Archive for the ‘Lent’ Category

Returning to Lent

February 17th, 2010

The past few years I have found much encouragement and growth in following the Christian calendar and keeping my thoughts and spiritual journey somewhat in line with the church seasons. The cyclical nature of the seasons, Advent, Epiphany, Lent, Easter and Ordinary Time, have drawn me deeper and deeper into my understanding of and relationship to the Triune God. But, during the past year of pregnancy and the early months of motherhood, I found myself in a season of my own and unable to fully relate to or participate in the church seasons. In fact I didn’t even have a single thought about Advent this year until it was over – really I didn’t have a single thought about much of anything accept my dear difficult child.

Today I woke up to realize that it is Ash Wednesday, and I felt suddenly like I need Lent this year. Need Lent like I have never needed it before. Lent is when we remember the time the Israelites spent wandering in the desert. Lately, I feel like I am wandering unknown territory, my own desert. Lent is also when we remember Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness. Lately, I feel tempted. I feel tempted to ignore God and focus solely on my immediate physical needs. I feel tempted to escapism instead of being present with where I am and what my life looks like at the moment. I feel tempted to despair and to feel like my life has no broader purpose or vision amidst the mundane of peek-a-boo and dirty dishes.

Lent is also a time of repentance and purification during which we prepare again to celebrate and remember the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I remember learning that for a time in the early church Easter was the only time that they baptized new believers and Lent was for these new believers a time of preparation for baptism. Lent was a time of preparing to enter into the family of God. Eventually “older” believers began to also celebrate Lent as a time to renew their faith and commitment to the resurrection life that God offers. This year I feel this subtle historical significance of Lent. I need this. I need to come to God anew. I need a fresh start with Jesus.

Thanks to Christine Sine I recently read this quote from Joan Chittister’s book The Liturgical Year and it really spoke to me about why I need to participate in Lent yet again:

Lent is not a ritual.  It is time given to think seriously about who Jesus is for us, to renew our faith from the inside out.  It is the moment when, as the baptismal waters flow on every Easter Vigil altar, we return to the baptismal font of the heart to say yes once more to the call of Jesus to the disciples, “Come and see” (John 1:39)  It is the act of beginning our spiritual life all over again refreshed and reoriented.  (111)

I want to begin my “spiritual life all over again refreshed and reoriented.” And so this Ash Wednesday I bow my head and heart and say, “Come, Lord Jesus.” Come and draw me into Lent. Show me once again who you are. Teach me anew who I am. I am thirsty and weak, weary and confused. I don’t know how to listen to you. I don’t know how to speak to you. I don’t know how to follow you. I don’t know how to love you or obey you. Come, Lord. Lead me once again through the desert.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



Prayers from the Cross

April 10th, 2009

 

I meet regularly with a group of ladies to study and practice together various spiritual disciplines. This past week I was unable to be there for the whole time but came in just in time to hear the last bit of a discussion on prayer, particularly focusing on prayers that Jesus prayed throughout his life. The prayers that particularly struck me where the prayers from the cross, and as this is Good Friday I thought I would try and share some of the reflections with you.

Jesus’ prayers from the cross:

“My God my God, why have you forsaken me?”

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

“Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”

None of the gospels have all three of these prayers together and so honestly I had never really looked at them together before, but it struck me this time that they go beautifully together and even seem to represent a sort of progression of faith through trials.

It starts with “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” We must first be willing to admit openly our own doubt, hurt, anger, sadness and despair. We must be able to admit how alone we feel, how distant God seems. We must be able to be honest enough with ourselves to allow ourselves to question God. My God, my God why have you forsaken me?!?!?!

I truly believe that question is an important one for us to allow ourselves to ask. But, I realized something else too; Jesus spoke the question in Aramaic, which at this time was one of the most commonly spoken languages of the area (if not the most commonly spoken). It never dawned on me until this week how significant that really is. Jesus was open with his questioning of God. He didn’t try to hide it, he didn’t keep it in or under wraps, and when he spoke it he didn’t just speak his question in a way that only a few would hear or understand. He proclaimed it openly and “in a loud voice” in a language that all around him would understand. I think that says something about how we should question and doubt God, and paints a picture of what that might look like that is very different from how we currently approach questioning God’s presence in the church. The church should not be afraid of people’s questions; people should not hide their questions. They should be able to be open and honest with their pain and doubt and questions not just with God, but with the community around them as well.

I think that the path to deeper faith must begin with prayers like “My God, my God, why have your forsaken me?” It is only when we openly admit and acknowledge our deep hurts and feelings in community that we can move forward into healing.

The next prayer is “Father, forgive them, for they known not what they do.” This is a difficult prayer to pray. But, often in trial after we admit our pain and questions, in order to move forward we need to seek out forgiveness for ourselves and for those who have wronged us. One of the ladies in our group pointed out how rarely we really pray for GOD to forgive someone who’s wronged us. We know that we need to work to forgive them, but do we ever pray for God to forgive them? Do we really want God to forgive them? So, often even once we have come to a place where we can say we forgive those who’ve wronged us we still expect and want God to dish out justice towards them. Asking God to forgive the other who has hurt us takes forgiveness a step deeper and though it is a difficult step it is a step that takes us one step closer to the life of faith – trusting that God knows best and that His love is all encompassing for each and every one of his creatures.

As difficult as these first two prayers can be I think the finally prayer is really the hardest, but it is also the sweetest. “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” From that place of doubt, of questioning, of asking, “God why have your forsaken me?” we move to a place of complete rest and surrender. Our Lord is no longer referred to simply as God, but Father. And despite the fact that He may still seem distant and that our circumstances haven’t changed  and we haven’t received a clear answer to the deepest questions we ask, there comes a point of faith where we have a decision to make… will we trust? Will we surrender over our control? Will we follow this God that we don’t understand, this God that seems to forsake us at times, this God that calls us to a new and difficult way of living? Will we open our clenched fists and allow God to take us wherever He leads us, through whatever He leads us, trusting that He is love? Will we join Jesus in praying “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit”?

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



An Example of Maundy Thursday in Action

April 9th, 2009

This is what I wrote on Maundy Thursday last year:

“Today is Maundy Thursday – it is the day we remember Christ washing the Disciples feet. I was doing a little research on Maundy Thursday and found this on Wikipedia:

The word Maundy is derived through Middle English, and Old French mandé, from the Latin mandatum, the first word of the phrase “Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos” (”A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you”), the statement by Jesus in the Gospel of John (13:34) by which Jesus explained to the Apostles the significance of his action of washing their feet.

Along with my fried Tara (see her post on Maundy Thursday here) I found the meaning behind the days name to be very interesting and challenging. In the past Thursday of Holy week was not a day I really gave much thought to. I knew that it was related somehow to the foot washing but it wasn’t really a part of Easter for me. My family would often go to a service on Good Friday but we never went to church on Thursday and never really included Thursday in our Easter/Holy week celebrations. But, today I find myself thinking about Maundy Thursday. How can I enter into Christ’s command to “love one another as I have loved you” today? How can I commemorate and celebrate and remember the miraculous act of the God of the universe stooping down to wash the feet of dirty and sinful human beings – of stooping down to serve them and to serve me?”

This lent and holy week have been very different from last year for me. Last year this was a season of learning for me and I was very aware of the days of lent and did what I could to enter into them. This year, although I had planned to enter into lent in many ways as I had last year, I felt God calling me to a slightly different rhythm – something which I wrote a bit about here and am planning to write more about in the coming days. But, today God brought my awareness back to the fact that it is Maundy Thursday and as he did I started to think about a beautiful event that I will be participating in this evening.

Tonight marks the official release of the new Czech translation of the Bible. Our friend Sasha Flek has been working with a small group of others on this translation for the past 17 years. Tonight there will be an open event in Bethlehem Chapel (were Jan Hus preached) to celebrate the release of the Bible. Starting tomorrow there will be public readings of the Bible in 70 major Czech cities that will run for 24 hours straight reading the Bible from cover to cover between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. This is an amazingly significant event and many in the Czech Republic, no matter what their religious beliefs, are excited about it. The Czech tv and radio have both run free adds telling about the Bible and the Czech news has done in-depth interviews of Sasha including asking about his own conversion and calling to the Bible translation. The coming days will be a time to celebrate the birth and completion of a God-given vision and the resurrection of the Bible for a new generation of Czechs.

Today on Maundy Thursday, a day when we remember Jesus stooping and washing the disciple’s feet and telling them to love one another, it dawns on me that is exactly what Sasha and his team have been doing. They have given up their time and agenda’s to stoop over the Bible for 17 years so that they can show love and bring love through the written Word of God to their people.

Today I pray that those who receive this new translation, that those who hear it in the streets and in public squares over the weekend would feel the love of a God who stooped down to serve and die for each of us.

If you’d like to learn more about the Czech Bible translation visit this web site.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



Some Thoughts to think about from a Friend

March 12th, 2009

Today I read two great posts that really hit home for me on my friend Tara’s blog, Story-Formed.

The first is called “Hungry, anyone?” and I recommend you go check it out.

The second was mostly this quote from Henri Nouwen that I thought I’d share with you here as well:

“So what about my life of prayer?  Do I like to pray?  Do I want to pray?  Do I spend time praying?  Frankly, the answer is no to all three questions…The truth is that I do not feel much, if anything, when I pray.  There are no emotions, bodily sensations, or mental visions.  None of my five senses is being touched – no special smells, no special sounds, no special sights, no special tastes, and no special movements.  Whereas for a long time the Spirit acted so clearly through my flesh, now I feel nothing.  I have lived with the expectation that prayer would become easier as I grow older and closer to death.  But the opposite seems to be happening.  The words “darkness” and “dryness” seem to best describe my prayer today.

Maybe part of this darkness and dryness is the result of my overactivity.  As I grow older I become busier and spend less and less time in prayer.  But I probably should not blame myself in that way.  The real questions are, “What are the darkness and the dryness about?  What do they call me to?”…

Are the darkness and dryness of my prayer signs of God’s absence, or are they signs of a presence deeper and wider than my senses can contain?  Is the death of my prayer the end of my intimacy with God or the beginning of a new communion, beyond words, emotions, and bodily sensations?…

The year ahead of me must be a year of prayer, even though I say that my prayer is as dead as a rock.  My prayer surely is, but not necessarily the Spirit’s prayer in me.  Maybe the time has come to let go of “my” prayer, “my” effort to be close to God, “my” way of being in communion with the Divine, and to allow the Spirit of God to blow freely in me.“

rejoicing in the joureny -
Bethany

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



Tell me what is…

March 3rd, 2009

Tell me what is. Speak truth and reality to me. By your grace do not permit me to live any longer in a dream world. Take me into the true, the real, the present, for you are the Great I AM and I come to you simply as I am in this present moment. Do what you will. Amen.

 

 

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

 

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)