Today I feel like I have a number of people in my life who are experiencing a stripping down, a confussion, a “dark night of the soul”. Light feels missing, guidance feels lacking, and darkness feels eminent. The darkening reality of the physical world seems to fit well with the confusion and darkness of the soul.

We need light to break through.

And so today I celebrate Winter Solstice by remembering that light is coming back into the world. From this day forth light will slowly, but steadily, grow. Each day will bring more of its warmth; each day will bring more of its clarity. Today marks the turning of the tides.

And so today I pray this for my friends and for myself…

Lord, hold the darkness at bay.
Say unto the night, “This far shall thou come and NO farther.”
Speak life, and light unto our hearts.
Father, light the path before us, we don’t need to know the whole way,
but give us light to see the next step.
Spirit, break through the cold, the dark, the heavy, and lighten the load.
We moan for light. We moan for grace. We moan for You, Lord, Jesus.
Come, light of the world. Come.
Amen.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Ok, I know you’re suppose to post pumpkin pie recipes BEFORE Thanksgiving, but I feel like breaking the rules and posting these now. Besides, I like this pumpkin pie so much I think it should be enjoyed throughout the fall and winter and not just at Thanksgiving.

The trick to this pumpkin pie is to use a fresh pumpkin instead of canned pumpkin puree. It’s really not as hard as it sounds. All you have to do is slice the pumpkin in half, take out the seeds and pulp and place it cut side down on a parchment lined baking sheet. Bake at 350 F until the meat inside is tender and soft. Scrap out the meat and put it in a food processor or blender and blend until you have a smooth puree. That’s it. Now that you have your puree you can use it in any recipe that calls for canned pumpkin puree with the result being a much fresher pumpkin flavor.

So, here’s my pumpkin pie recipe…

Pumpkin Pie Made With FRESH Pumpkin

• 2 cups fresh pumpkin puree
• ¾ cup Unrefined sugar
• ½ teaspoon vanilla (I recently used maple extract instead because I didn’t have vanilla and that worked well too, although the vanilla is much better)
• 1 tablespoon flour
• 1 cup milk (or cream or a combination of milk and cream)
• 3 eggs
• 1 pie crust (if possible make your own – it tastes so much better and it’s not nearly as hard as it seems. If you have kids let them mix the butter in with the flour and roll it out – they will love it and you save yourself the hard work.  I’ve been using this recipe but without the sugar and we like it)

Mix it all together and pour it into the pie crust. Bake at about 350 degrees Fahrenheit until it is not really wiggly anymore. You want it to jiggle just a little though because it will solidify more once you take it out of the oven.

Eat it warm or cold, however you like. It’s great topped with a little whipping cream made from scratch by beating a bit of cream until it thickens (you can add a little sugar and or vanilla or maple syrup to the whipped cream to sweeten it if you desire).

ENJOY!

Rejoicing in the journey -
Beth Stedman

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This Halloween we had an opportunity to celebrate All Hallows’ Eve a little differently and I loved it. It felt more real, not at all commercialized and more in-tune with the familiar familial magic of fall. So, what did we do? Well, our friends who own some property in Zelivka, right in the middle of a national park in Prague, invited us to hang out there with them for a little outdoor cook out. We each brought some fresh veggies that we threw in a big pot over an open fire. I made some homemade bread and pumpkin pie to share. My husband brought a bottle of homemade nettle champagne (which he made with nettles he picked out on the property). Our friends brought sausage to roast and pumpkins for the kids to carve. We laid out some blankets and talked, took walks around the property, ate our yummy fall inspired food, and carved pumpkins. The kids played hid-and-go-seek and ghost in the graveyard. The weather was clear and crisp, with just enough sunshine peaking through the clouds to leave long shadows through the trees.

Something about just being out in nature and hanging out with friends around a fire felt so right. It got me thinking about the type of Halloween traditions I want my kid to grow up with. I want my child to grow up celebrating Halloween because personally I love it, but I want them to grow up celebrating something more real that the commercialized holiday the candy industry has put together. I also want them to grow up celebrating it in a deeper way than the church “fall festivals” that are so common in the states – something about those fall festivals always felt somehow fake and contrived to me.

Here’s what I’d like future Stedman Halloweens to be about:

• Spending Time Outside in nature – somewhere where the trees are changing color
• Spending time with family and friends and any other wandering souls that happen to be needing a friendly welcome
• Making our own autumn feast together and cooking it outside over an open fire
• Drinking homemade beverages such as nettle beer or homemade apple cider
• Having a bonfire and roasting homemade marshmallows
• Carving pumpkins and lighting Jack O’ Lanterns
• Telling stories about saints and martyrs from the past (picking one Bible character, apostle, saint, or historical church figure and telling their story and talking about them with the kids…?? Maybe??)
• Doing some autumn inspired activities – like bobbing for apples, hay rides, nature walks in the woods, etc.
• Having a short time of prayer – praying a liturgy like this one or just praying together informally and thanking God for the people who have gone before us and the example they have set

Dressing up and going “trick or treating” could be included if we wanted it to be on any given year, but wouldn’t have to be. With all the other activities I don’t think any of us would miss it. And I can get my dress-up longings filled all year long now that I have kids to play with me {smile}.

Did you have a good Halloween this year? What would your ideal Halloween look like?

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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There is something very encouraging about remembering all of the many people who have followed God before me. They were in some ways normal people just like me, many of them had the same struggles that I have, and I imagine that some of them even had the same doubts that plague me. But, they pressed on and by faith obeyed and followed God. That is very encouraging to me. So, today I celebrate All Saints Day and thank God for the Saints who have walked before me to show me the way.

Prayer for All Saints Day:

God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob,
you have called many by faith and they have followed.
May we lean into their example and follow you into the unknown.

God of Moses and all the Isrealites,
in your strength many have chosen to shun the pleasures of sin and the treasures of the world.
May their example encourage us to seek first your kingdom, the only kingdom that truly lasts.

God of the judges,
through your wisdom many have sought after and fought for justice.
May we fearlessly follow their example and do the same.

God of prophets and prostitutes,
you come to the powerful and the broken alike, once touched each speaks your truth bravely.
May we remember from their example that your presence levels the playing field and brings truth to all areas of darkness.

God of the disciples,
you stirred hearts and men left everything they had ever known before to be near you.
May we see their example and chase hard after you.

God of all the saints, both known and unknown,
in faith many have given up all they had, to gain what could never be taken away.
in faith many have left their homes, to seek their true home with you.
in faith many have praised you through trials, tribulations and heartache, because they know your love.
In faith many have loved when they could have hated, fought for justice when they could have walked away, and spoken up when they could have remained silent.
in faith many have accepted persecution, mistreatment, and even death.
May their example be for us a light in all our dark places causing us to cling to you in all things just as they have done before us.

God of All,
You have surrounded us by a great cloud of witnesses,
we are not alone and many have walked the paths we now walk.
We thank you for each of them and pray that you would be near to us just as you have been near to them.

Amen.

If you are interested in another prayer for All Saints Day here is a truly wonderful prayer for All Saints Day written by the wonderful Christine Sine.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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I love America more because of the time I’ve spent away from her. I respect America more because of the time I’ve spent away from her. I am embarrassed by America more because of the time I’ve spent away from her. I worry about America less because of the time I’ve spent away from her. My feelings towards my home country are far more diverse, varied, and broad then they ever were before I left.

In some ways living overseas has made me much less nationalistic. People are people no matter where you are. Nations don’t really matter. Nations rise and fall. People are what really matter.

But, living overseas has also made me more patriotic. People may be the same wherever you are, but societies are different. Cultures are different. Those differences can be stunningly beautiful and so incredibly valuable.

Random Things I’ve realized about America/Americans/American culture since living overseas:

• Americans have the best “can do” attitude in the world. Ok, maybe not in the world, but definitely in contrast to the Czech Republic, where the favorite phrase seems to be “not possible” or “no”. As Americans we value making things happen and we are often willing to think outside the box and compromise in order to make things happen for ourselves and for others. That’s not necessarily the case in the rest of the world. I often miss this kind of positive thinking.
• Everything is available everywhere all the time. There are localists who would say this is a negative thing, but I have to admit that I really miss this about the states.
• American news coverage is often self-centered and biased. I knew that before moving, but you realize it anew when you are abroad. When people talk about the latest news here it’s not just what’s going on in their own country its stuff that’s going on all over the world. News will always have biases, but the biases seem less intense in news sources from outside the US.
• The English language is a beautiful thing and I have learned to appreciate it so much more living in a non-English speaking country.
• The stereotype about Americans being loud is often and generally true, but this isn’t always a bad thing and there are a lot of other loud people as well. British guys in Prague for a stag party have a tendency to be far louder than any group of Americans.
• Americans in general are truly friendly people. We smile at people we meet, and we enjoy small talk. Sure, not every American does, but on a whole as a culture we do. This became strikingly clear living in a culture where that is not true.

Ok, so there could definitely be more to this list, but these are the first few things that came to mind.

How about you? Have you traveled outside of the US? If so where to? And did you learn anything about your own culture while there?

Happy 4^th of July everyone. I hope your day is filled with fireworks, fresh strawberries, BBQ’s, hanging out with friends and family, and lots of gratitude for the positives and the beauty that is American culture.

Rejoicing in the journey-
Bethany Stedman

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So, far this has been a great weekend. We took a little day trip with some friends yesterday and had a little picnic out at a nearby castle. It was so nice to get out of the city and have some time with great friends. Thaddeus loved the outing too and even took great naps yesterday! Yay!

Today is also off to a great start too. I was laughing to myself this morning as I thought about the things I wanted for Mother’s Day. It was all stuff that sounds sort of basic and trivial. And it was all stuff that I did pretty much every day before having kids and totally took for granted. Here’s my list of what I wanted for Mother’s Day (don’t laugh – or judge me… please).

1. To take a shower and get dressed first thing in the morning.
   Honestly, I shower sporadically since having a baby, usually only a couple of times a week and almost never first thing in the morning. It’s just hard to find time – it’s hard to shower while Thad is napping because our bathroom is right next to where he sleeps and it will sometimes wake him up. Even if he doesn’t wake up his naps are often only 30 minutes which means that if I shower there’s no time to pick up, do the dishes, do the laundry, or anything else. So, often no shower. Thankfully, this is one mother’s day gift I’ve already gotten. Today I was showered and dressed before breakfast thanks to my sweet hubby taking the baby!
2. To eat.
   Hehehe – I do normally eat, don’t worry. But, it’s hard to really sit down and have three full meals since having a baby. I usually can eat a distracted breakfast while watching Thad and I try to snack often throughout the day, but I usually don’t really eat a full meal until Thaddeus is in bed for the night. So, today I told Bryan I want to actually have a good breakfast, lunch and dinner… oh and desert too. So, the plan is Dutch Babies with Coconut syrup for breakfast, Pumpkin Curry Soup with Sourdough Crackers for lunch, a big salad with a variety of veggies and nuts and cheese and all kinds of goodness for dinner. And for dessert… homemade Cheesecake! Yummy!
3. To get caught up on reading some books and blogs.
   I have so many great blogs in my google reader and so many interesting books I want to read and usually no undisturbed time to do either, or at least not very much of either. I’m looking forward to having a little bit of relaxed reading time today.
4. To edit the pictures in my camera.
   I haven’t been taking as many pictures since having a child as I did before, but the few that I have taken have sat in my camera for weeks now without anything being done to them. I don’t have a lot of time without the baby when I can work on photography lately and I miss it so I’m also really looking forward to getting some of this done.

Well, that’s what I’m hoping for today. I’ll leave you with some Mommy Links to check out:

• I really want to see the movie Babies.
• I liked this poem this week. Favorite line: “This belly grew a baby, Why should it be flat? It curves with the memory of the womb.”
• Here’s an idea for a Mother’s Day brunch which sounds really yummy! I particularly want to try the Coconut-dipped Strawberries.
• I found this study interesting. Yet another reason to cuddle your baby today.
• I thought this was a helpful resource for praying for your children. I think I might want to make my own prayer calendar for Thaddeus… we’ll see.
• I was inspired by this 10 point Mother’s Manifesto from Holy Experience.

What do you want this Mother’s Day? What “Mommy Links” have you found interesting or helpful this week?

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Today as I was quickly flipping through a few blogs I found this video about Mother’s Day on Tall Skinny Kiwi. It really challenged me. I have been looking forward to Mother’s Day as a day to relax, maybe have my husband take the baby for a while, take a nice calming bath, etc. But, this video discusses the history of Mother’s Day being rooted in a Peace movement after the civil war. It mentions a Mother’s Day Proclamation by Julia Ward Howe. She wrote this just after the civil war to a nation still in desperate need of a deep peace. She called on all mothers, all women really, to “Arise then… women of this day! Arise, all women who have hearts!” She asked them to “take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace… Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God – In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality, may be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient and the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.”

It got me thinking about how I might “promote the great and general interests of peace” this Mother’s Day? How can I promote peace within my own heart, within my marriage, within my family, and within my world at large? How can I, in my unique role as a mother and homemaker, join with other mothers to fight on behalf of peace?

Honestly, I don’t really have answers to these questions, but I’m thinking about them. I want to keep my eyes and ears open for ways I can further peace in my community and world. And I want to instill a heart of peace within my son.

From the beginning of my son’s young life I have prayed that he wouldn’t be a fighter, a warrior that just charges ahead at the front lines not thinking of the cost of battle. I have prayed instead that he would be a man of peace. I have prayed that he would be filled with compassion and that he would have a soft heart. I have prayed that when he fights he would do so prayerfully, wisely and intentionally. I have prayed that when he picks up his weapons it would be as a guard, fighting to protect those who cannot protect themselves.

How do you “promote the great and general interests of peace”?

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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As I sorted the grains it felt a little bit like I was engaged in a type of litany – A call and response between God’s heart and mine. Here are some of the thoughts that God brought up as I sorted the grains.

First, he reminded me that it is not my job to sort. It’s not my job to sort or judge anyone else’s life or heart, AND it’s not even my job to sort my own heart. I have a tendency to be very hard on myself. I want to be perfect and I want to be perfect NOW. I want to change how I act, and think, and feel. I want to change my heart and at times I WORK HARD at trying to do so. But, the truth of the Gospel is that I can’t change myself. I can’t purify my own heart. I can’t sort out all the “icky” stuff from my life. There is none holy, no not one. And I can’t fix myself.

The hope of the Gospel is that Christ is powerful to cleanse us. He stoops down and cleanses the disciple’s feet, washing them clean, purifying them. And he does the same for me. He is the one who sorts through my heart and weeds out all the impurities – all the shaft, rocks, bugs, and little black things that I can’t even recognize any more. I don’t need to cleanse myself, I don’t need to judge myself. He is the One Judge and he is merciful. He is the one who cleanses me and his hand is gentle.

Another thing happened while I was sorting. As I sorted through the grains, I noticed that some of them were broken. For a second I actually thought about sorting out all the broken pieces while I was sorting out the other stuff – I know CRAZY, right? But, there was a little part of me that wanted everything to be perfect and look perfect and uniform. I know it was ridiculous. Those broken pieces were perfectly good pieces of grain even though they didn’t look as nice or perfect as the whole pieces.

Then I heard God whisper… “Bethany, I don’t sort out the brokenness either. The broken pieces stay.” It struck me that when God is cleaning and purifying and sanctifying my life he slowly picks away the rocks, the dirt, the bugs, but he leaves the broken pieces. He leaves the wounds, the hurts, the scars, the places of my life that aren’t neat and clean and whole and perfect. Sometimes I wish he didn’t leave the broken pieces, but there is something beautiful about the fact that he does. He’s not wasteful. He may refine me but every bit of me that is worth keeping will be kept even if it looks a little broken or misshapen.

Oh, and his work is slow. He doesn’t sort and purify quickly. He doesn’t use a machine and haphazardly throw me into a standard system. He slowly picks up and looks at each grain of my heart. He sorts by hand – strong, yet gentle hands.

Search me, Oh God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Rejoicing in the journey-
Bethany

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“Today is Maundy Thursday – it is the day we remember Christ washing the Disciples feet. I was doing a little research on Maundy Thursday and found this on Wikipedia:

The word Maundy is derived through Middle English, and Old French mandé, from the Latin mandatum, the first word of the phrase “Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos” (”A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you”), the statement by Jesus in the Gospel of John (13:34) by which Jesus explained to the Apostles the significance of his action of washing their feet.

Along with my fried Tara (see her post on Maundy Thursday here) I found the meaning behind the days name to be very interesting and challenging. In the past Thursday of Holy week was not a day I really gave much thought to. I knew that it was related somehow to the foot washing but it wasn’t really a part of Easter for me. My family would often go to a service on Good Friday but we never went to church on Thursday and never really included Thursday in our Easter/Holy week celebrations. But, today I find myself thinking about Maundy Thursday. How can I enter into Christ’s command to “love one another as I have loved you” today? How can I commemorate and celebrate and remember the miraculous act of the God of the universe stooping down to wash the feet of dirty and sinful human beings – of stooping down to serve them and to serve me?”

This lent and holy week have been very different from last year for me. Last year this was a season of learning for me and I was very aware of the days of lent and did what I could to enter into them. This year, although I had planned to enter into lent in many ways as I had last year, I felt God calling me to a slightly different rhythm – something which I wrote a bit about here and am planning to write more about in the coming days. But, today God brought my awareness back to the fact that it is Maundy Thursday and as he did I started to think about a beautiful event that I will be participating in this evening.

Tonight marks the official release of the new Czech translation of the Bible. Our friend Sasha Flek has been working with a small group of others on this translation for the past 17 years. Tonight there will be an open event in Bethlehem Chapel (were Jan Hus preached) to celebrate the release of the Bible. Starting tomorrow there will be public readings of the Bible in 70 major Czech cities that will run for 24 hours straight reading the Bible from cover to cover between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. This is an amazingly significant event and many in the Czech Republic, no matter what their religious beliefs, are excited about it. The Czech tv and radio have both run free adds telling about the Bible and the Czech news has done in-depth interviews of Sasha including asking about his own conversion and calling to the Bible translation. The coming days will be a time to celebrate the birth and completion of a God-given vision and the resurrection of the Bible for a new generation of Czechs.

Today on Maundy Thursday, a day when we remember Jesus stooping and washing the disciple’s feet and telling them to love one another, it dawns on me that is exactly what Sasha and his team have been doing. They have given up their time and agenda’s to stoop over the Bible for 17 years so that they can show love and bring love through the written Word of God to their people.

Today I pray that those who receive this new translation, that those who hear it in the streets and in public squares over the weekend would feel the love of a God who stooped down to serve and die for each of us.

If you’d like to learn more about the Czech Bible translation visit this web site.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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—–

I could feel Puah trembling next to me as we waited in the great hall. We had been summoned by Pharaoh himself. What could he want with us? It’s true we had gained quite a lot of recognition… there had been so many successful births that the Hebrew people were growing as quickly as wild grass by the Nile. Many attributed that to our skill, but we knew better – God was blessing His people. Perhaps Pharaoh had heard of us and wanted to learn our tricks and see the midwives who were at the heart of the Hebrew’s growth. But, something in my gut didn’t believe that was the case. I had heard stories of those who were summoned before Pharaoh and they did nothing to put my worries at ease. I was lost in my own contemplations, when we heard the door at the end of the hall swing loudly open and Pharaoh and his many attendants and guards entered the room. He sat down on a large chair directly in front of us and called us forward. I could see why the people called him a son of the gods, he had a strength and regality to him that I had never seen before. Here was a man who was accustomed to having people do whatever he commanded and who could give and take life at whim without a second thought.

“You are the midwives of the Hebrew people, is that right?” He asked us.

“Yes.” I replied, suddenly very aware that everyone in the room was staring at us as if they were weighing us on a measure.

“Then hear this, the word of Pharaoh, the word of the gods: The Hebrew slaves are growing too strong and must be subjugated. Therefore I lay down this command to you, midwives of the Hebrew people, when you help the Hebrew women in childbirth and observe them on the delivery stool, if it is a boy, kill him; but if it is a girl let her live. This is my command. Do you understand?”

I stood there in shock for a minute before answering hesitantly, “I understand.”

“Good. And you understand the penelty if you fail to follow my command?” I trembled, but did not need to answer, everyone knew well what happened to those who disobeyed Pharaoh.

“You are dismissed.” And with a wave of his hands his guards quickly ushered us from the room.

We walked slowly as we left Pharaoh’s palace, both lost in our own thoughts.

After a while Puah spoke softly at first but with growing strength, “We cannot do it… We cannot kill these precious little lives that have the hand of God so strongly upon them. Our purpose and calling is to aide in bringing forth life not to take it away. There is one God and he is the God of the living, we cannot rightly stand before him with the blood of his people on our hands. Pharaoh may kill us… but… I cannot take the life that He has given.” A shiver ran up my spine as I heard her speak. I knew she was right, but I knew the consequences of the decision we were making. I took her hand and smiled and said, “Well, at least we will face what is to come together, my friend.” I tried to shake off the fear that hung so tangibly in the air.

We hadn’t gone more than a few steps farther when a young girl came running up to call us to her mother who was in the last stage of labor. The poor girl had been searching for us for hours as her mother labored alone. We ran with her to the house and found that the woman had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. It was the first test of our decision. I cleaned the baby and handed him to his mother to feed. She smiled at him and they looked at each other with the look of love that can only be exchanged between mother and child after the difficult passage of birth. As Puah and I looked on an idea came to me, “Puah, we will not obey Pharaoh, but if we are called back to him to give an account for our disobedience we will tell him that all Hebrew women give birth like this women, quickly and vigorously, giving birth before the midwives arrive.” She looked at me with a bit of wonder, for it was not normally in my nature to be untruthful, but she knew as I did that it was a good plan. Pharaoh could not fault us for our disobedience if we were not present at the birth to obey or disobey.

And so that is exactly what we did. We continued to deliver babies and did all we could to keep each alive as we had always done, and when we were called to Pharaoh we told him what we had to and he let us go. God looked kindly on us and today I can sit and tell you this story, child, for it was not long after this that God gave us families of our own. I want you to remember, my daughter, that Pharaoh may be powerful and his slave drivers may be fierce but God is more powerful than he is, and God will deliver us from his hand. But, in the mean time you must act bravely and do what you know you must for we do not belong to Pharaoh, but to God… Oh, and remember a little bit of cunning, when used for good purpose, can sometimes be a very good thing.

—–

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

Julie Clawson on the God who sees
Steve Hayes on St. Theodora the Iconodule
Sonja Andrews on Aunt Jemima
Sensuous Wife on a single mom in the Bible
Minnowspeaks on celebrating women
Michelle Van Loon on the persistant widow
Lyn Hallewell on the strength of biblical women
Shawna Atteberry on the Daughter of Mary Magdalene
Christine Sine on women who impacted her life
Susan Barnes on Tamar, Ruth, and Mary
Kathy Escobar on standing up for nameless and voiceless women
Ellen Haroutunian on out from under the veil
Liz Dyer on Mary and Martha
Bethany Stedman on Shiphrah and Puah
Dan Brennan on Mary Magdalene
Jessica Schafer on Bathsheba
Eugene Cho on Lydia
Laura sorts through what she knows about women in the Bible
Miz Melly preached on the woman at the well
AJ Schwanz on women’s work
Pam Hogeweide on teenage girls changing the world
Teresa on the women Paul didn’t hate
Helen on Esther
Happy on Abigail
Mark Baker-Wright on telling stories
Robin M. on Eve
Alan Knox is thankful for the women who served God
Lainie Peterson on the unnamed concubine
Mike Clawson on cultural norms in the early church
Krista on serving God
Bob Carlton on Barbie as Icon
Jan Edmiston preached on the unnamed concubine
Deb on her namesake – Deborah
Makeesha on empowering women
Beth Patterson on The whole megilah revisited

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