Posts Tagged ‘Body of Christ’

Surrendering Sovereignty

July 12th, 2008

I’ve been thinking a lot about control lately. Power. Authority. Rule. Sovereignty. Lately I have felt very out of control of my life. Like I don’t have the control, the power, the authority, the sovereignty that I once had over my life and what my life would look like. It’s an incredibly scary place to be.

For as much as I say that I believe I am not in control and that God is in control, I like acting like I am in control. I like feeling like I do have the power to determine my own life. I like being sovereign over my own life and will. But, lately I have had to come face to face with my own limitations and lack of control. It’s been uncomfortable at best.

Then there’s another aspect of control that I have been thinking about and that is relational control, power, and sovereignty.

For a long time I have talked about the value of community. I have talked about the importance of open and authentic community. I have dreamed of a place where people could really belong – a place where they could have fellowship with one another not just as saints, but as sinners – a place where they could be themselves and bring the wholeness of who they are, broken and beautiful, to others and receive love and acceptance and forgiveness – a place where people would meet each other’s needs and really love each other in active and living way, with words when words were needed and with tangible help when tangible help was needed. I’ve talked about this and dreamed about this and I’ve tried to be the kind of person that made other people feel comfortable enough around her that they could share of themselves and their lives. But, I think in many of my relationships in the past I have tried to maintain power and control. Not consciously, but I have done things unconsciously that allowed me to keep control and even power in my relationships.

For example the other day Bryan and I went to coffee with some friends, Bryan offered to treat, but they refused, knowing our situation, and offered to treat for us instead, we refused. The whole thing was pretty little but it got me thinking. I really like treating when we go out with people. I like being able to meet others needs and in the past I have thought that this was an appropriate and generous thing to like. But, I started thinking about why I don’t like to let others pay for me when I go out. In my refusal of their love and generosity I maintain a little bit of control and power. Instead of bowing myself to them and acknowledging my neediness and appreciation, I instead maintain a posture of pride and cling to a posture of power.

I also recently realized that I can be very selective in what I share about myself and my life with others. I am quick to talk about the importance of confessing and of sharing brokenness and neediness with others but I am incredibly slow to practice that. I don’t like letting people know the ugliness that is in me. I don’t like letting people know the real neediness that is in my life. I don’t like letting myself need someone else, or letting myself accept help or love from someone else. I will accept people into my life but only on my terms. I was thinking about this and I think that it is largely a defense mechanism and a way for me to allow myself to maintain some control of my life and some control in my relationships.

Yesterday a friend sent me this article about the Church of the Savior in Washington, DC. It was a very interesting article (though it is a bit long), but there was this one quote in it that really struck me:

“The surrender of sovereignty to this particular group of people feels like suicide, but any serious reading of the New Testament affirms that is the deal we take on.”

The surrender of sovereignty… the giving up of power, of control…

It is a difficult step to acknowledging that God alone is sovereign – That I am not sovereign and that I do not have control over my life. Acknowledging this and accepting it and giving myself completely over to the control and leading of God is perhaps a life long struggle… but, I got to thinking that maybe giving myself over to God’s sovereignty is just the start… maybe there is another step that needs to be taken in order for me to really surrender myself and learn to live a selfless life… Maybe I must also give myself over, surrender sovereignty, to Christ’s body. Maybe the degree to which I give myself to the people of God is the degree to which I give myself to God…?

This freaks me out. There is something in me which rises up and revolts against this… but, maybe that is the self that needs to be crucified with Christ…?

These are the thoughts that bounce around my head lately…

Rejoicing in the journey -
Beth Stedman

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Church Participation and the Priesthood of all Believers

March 3rd, 2008

Ok, so we’ve all heard the statistic that in any group/church 20% of the people do 80% of the work… So, here’s what I’ve been thinking about… WHY??? Why is it that only 20% of the people do 80% of the work? I think most churches I’ve been a part of people have thrown around that statistic as an unarguable truth or maybe they have sometimes challenged people by saying it shouldn’t be that way and asking people to participate more but I don’t think that I’ve ever really heard people wrestle with why people don’t participate. What makes people participate in a group? What keeps them from participating? These are the questions that have been bouncing around in my head for a while now and lately even more so…

So, I started thinking about my own life… my own involvement or lack of involvement. What has kept me from participating at various times? When I have participated why did I? What made it easier for me to participate? What made it harder? Here are some things I’ve realized…

When people ask me to participate but I don’t feel like they need me to participate I won’t. I’ve been in churches and groups where I’ve had the leader ask me to participate – to “bring my gifts/talents to the group” to be involved and share myself with the group. Generally when this happens I don’t… in fact it has sometimes been sort of a turn off for me making me want to participate even less. Why? Well, because in most of those situations it felt like I wasn’t needed. Sometimes I’ve even felt like they are just saying that because they feel like it’s what they should say not because they really feel like I personally have something to bring to the table as a unique individual. Or maybe they truly did want me to participate/be involved but they already had a structure of leaders set up they didn’t need my gifts they had interns and paid pastors and staff members to lead and come up with ideas and bring their gifts and talents which often didn’t seem that different from mine so why did they need me? They didn’t. Or at least I didn’t feel like they did. So, here’s the question… how do we make people feel not only wanted but NEEDED. I do believe that each person has unique ideas and talents that they can bring to the body of Christ. I do believe that each person is unique themselves and when they come as they are to the body and share who they are with the body beautiful things can happen. But, when people feel like they don’t need to share who they are, that they don’t need to share their ideas or dreams or thoughts, when they feel like there are others who are paid to come up with ideas and participate so why should they then they won’t. So, how do we communicate to people that they are needed? That they do have a unique part to play in the body of Christ?

The second thing I’ve realized sort of piggy backs on the first… I find it difficult to participate when there are set structures in place already – when there are already programs and activities and people already set up to lead them and participate in them then it seems like there is nothing for me to contribute and no need for me to contribute. Maybe this is why I’ve always been drawn to church start ups more so then established churches. I guess I just think that we talk about wanting people to participate, we talk about the priesthood of all believers but when it really comes down to it we don’t act like we believe it. We still have set paid staff and interns and pastors and it’s their job to come up with ideas and programs and to lead and it’s everyone else’s job to just show up and be there. Well, maybe that’s all good and fine in some situations and groups but it doesn’t really seem to lend itself to genuine organic community and it doesn’t seem to encourage active participation – it instead encourages passive participation from most of its congregation. So we lament and complain about the fact that 20% of the people do 80% of the work but isn’t that exactly the system that we have set up? So, here’s the question how could we change the structure of our churches and the systems of our churches to make it so that people feel free to create and lead and bring themselves and their dreams to the church community even if they aren’t on staff, even if they aren’t paid participants – how could we free people up to actively participate in the church instead of passively participating?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this stuff… J

Rejoicing in the journey -
Beth Stedman

 

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