Posts Tagged ‘children’

Nurturing Creativity in Children

July 28th, 2010

Todays post is from my friend, Kara. I met Kara a few years ago in Prague and knew right away that we needed to be friends – She’s a photographer, a foodie who’s interested in health and nutrition, a world traveler, and she practices yoga. Kara has spent the last year living in the states and is currently working on moving back to Prague. I will be looking forward to seeing her there soon!

Happy child with painted hands

(Photo from Foundationphasewales.com)
“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” ~ Pablo Picasso
Children have an endless supply of creative energy. I see it when my nieces originate their own songs and dance moves; when my friend’s son takes a stack of white paper and a pencil and writes his own adventure stories. Children can make something out of nothing. Because they don’t care what people think they can authentically explore their uniqueness. I wish I had the imagination I did when I was 5!
As we grow up it seems that in our (American) culture, imagination and creativity are seen as childish and therefore we need to “grow up” and “live in reality”. Personally, I am passionate about art and allowing imagination and creativity to grow and I have my own mother to thank for that.
I grew up with an incredibly artistic and talented mother. She was born and raised in New York City and spent much of her childhood attending ballets, Broadway, piano and guitar lessons and spent her evenings writing poetry. Naturally, from the time I was very young she instilled a deep desire to explore my creative side and not feel pressured to think only “inside the box”.
If you want to encourage your child’s creativity start here:
Remember that creativity is not just a project or after school distraction. Encourage your kids to see the value in art. Take them to a museum, a gallery, a cooking demonstration. Allow them to witness others living out their unique talents. Ask the right questions. Find what kind of art your children like and take the time to explore that with them.
As an artist, I can say that I need my space in order to create. As much as you want to encourage your child, don’t hover or feel the need to monitor at all times. Allow them a safe environment to explore. Honestly, they don’t need us to tell them how to draw, build or design something. If anything, we can learn so much more by watching them! Also, refrain from giving judgment or too much critique. Remember that art is as unique as people are, and despite how you may want to react, your child needs to feel that what they offer to the art world holds value. Love them for their willingness to try, not the end result.
Offer guidance in whatever ways you can. If you enjoy cooking, bring your child into the kitchen with you and offer them the opportunity to participate. If you play an instrument, share your love of music. Whatever it may be, don’t hold back. Art is meant to be shared.
Lastly, it’s important that originality is cultivated. The greatest innovators have always been those who thought differently from the rest. Just think how different our world would be if people like The Wright Brothers, Pablo Picasso or even J.K. Rowling were not encouraged to be themselves, original and full of imagination.
To see a few young artists’ creativity, check out the International Child Art Foundation’s gallery.
Here’s a fun family art project that everyone can participate in!
Using an old toy chest, a cardboard box, etc you and spend time with your family making a family keepsake box; something to hold your mementos for years to come.  I love using recycled materials and craft supplies including glue, stencils, markers, paint, newspaper or used colored tissue paper  and gift wrap.
Get creative and cut out a variety of shapes and use lots of color! Let each family member design and contribute something that expresses who they are. The best part is deciding what to include in the keepsake box. My family has placed old movie ticket stubs, vacation photos, souvenirs, foreign money, music CDs that we all like, anything that reminds of quality time together. Ours even has a jar of sand and a small sombrero from a trip to Mexico. Take pictures of your family during this project and use those as the first memento to go in the box!

(Photo from Foundationphasewales.com)

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” ~ Pablo Picasso

Children have an endless supply of creative energy. I see it when my nieces originate their own songs and dance moves; when my friend’s son takes a stack of white paper and a pencil and writes his own adventure stories. Children can make something out of nothing. Because they don’t care what people think they can authentically explore their uniqueness. I wish I had the imagination I did when I was 5!

As we grow up it seems that in our (American) culture, imagination and creativity are seen as childish and therefore we need to “grow up” and “live in reality”. Personally, I am passionate about art and allowing imagination and creativity to grow and I have my own mother to thank for that.

I grew up with an incredibly artistic and talented mother. She was born and raised in New York City and spent much of her childhood attending ballets, Broadway, piano and guitar lessons and spent her evenings writing poetry. Naturally, from the time I was very young she instilled a deep desire to explore my creative side and not feel pressured to think only “inside the box”.

If you want to encourage your child’s creativity start here:

  • Remember that creativity is not just a project or after school distraction. Encourage your kids to see the value in art. Take them to a museum, a gallery, a cooking demonstration. Allow them to witness others living out their unique talents. Ask the right questions. Find what kind of art your children like and take the time to explore that with them.
  • As an artist, I can say that I need my space in order to create. As much as you want to encourage your child, don’t hover or feel the need to monitor at all times. Allow them a safe environment to explore. Honestly, they don’t need us to tell them how to draw, build or design something. If anything, we can learn so much more by watching them! Also, refrain from giving judgment or too much critique. Remember that art is as unique as people are, and despite how you may want to react, your child needs to feel that what they offer to the art world holds value. Love them for their willingness to try, not the end result.
  • Offer guidance in whatever ways you can. If you enjoy cooking, bring your child into the kitchen with you and offer them the opportunity to participate. If you play an instrument, share your love of music. Whatever it may be, don’t hold back. Art is meant to be shared.
  • Lastly, it’s important that originality is cultivated. The greatest innovators have always been those who thought differently from the rest. Just think how different our world would be if people like The Wright Brothers, Pablo Picasso or even J.K. Rowling were not encouraged to be themselves, original and full of imagination.

To see a few young artists’ creativity, check out the International Child Art Foundation’s gallery.

Here’s a fun family art project that everyone can participate in!

Using an old toy chest, a cardboard box, etc you and spend time with your family making a family keepsake box; something to hold your mementos for years to come.  I love using recycled materials and craft supplies including glue, stencils, markers, paint, newspaper or used colored tissue paper  and gift wrap.

Get creative and cut out a variety of shapes and use lots of color! Let each family member design and contribute something that expresses who they are. The best part is deciding what to include in the keepsake box. My family has placed old movie ticket stubs, vacation photos, souvenirs, foreign money, music CDs that we all like, anything that reminds of quality time together. Ours even has a jar of sand and a small sombrero from a trip to Mexico. Take pictures of your family during this project and use those as the first memento to go in the box!

Copy of P1060925webKara is a believer in living life creatively and holistically. Her passion for art has led her on many adventures through the years and she now enjoys sharing her creative gifts with aspiring young artists. Kara’s interest in a holistic lifestyle was fueled after years of being frustrated with traditional, Western medicine which caused her to step into the world ofalternative medicine. Shortly after making a few basic changes to her lifestyle, she saw results and now feels empowered to share with others the benefits of preventative, natural medicine. Her personal goal is to live as physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy and thriving as possible, 100% of the time and encourage others to do the same. You can follow her thoughts and travels at her blog: karabess.wordpress.com

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Psychological Warfare: Parenting a Toddler

July 19th, 2010

Today I’m sharing with you a guest post from my dear friend, Jane. My husband jokes that I get more excited to see Jane than anyone else – and it’s kind of true. Jane just has this grace about her that is compelling. She’s inspiring and yet down to earth, creative and fun and playful. She puts people at ease and is a joy to be around. I’m happy to share just a little tiny piece of Jane with you today.


Photo 153Nobody told me as I was becoming a mother that I was about to enter the battle of a lifetime.  So maybe  phrases such as ‘psychological warfare’ and ‘battle’ are a bit dramatic, but honestly sometimes they feel like an understatement when I am in the middle of it. Toddlers have a way of getting into our hearts and under our skin so easily. I don’t know how they do it so well. Sometimes it feels like they compare notes on the playground or stay up late reading blogs on how to torture and woo their mommies.

Let me just start by saying that I LOVE being the mother to my two beautiful daughters; the oldest, Sofia, is 2 years and the youngest, Mia, is 6 months. I feel a deep sense of purpose and I DO enjoy the adventure of the intense highs and lows of parenting. Nurturing came so naturally and was such a rich time for both my husband and I. I have so many strong memories with both of our girls during the time when they were little that could last me a lifetime.

But then it all changed.Photo 168

My oldest, Sofia, changed. Her needs and the way she needed me changed. My role as her mom changed. The way we interact changed. I am learning how to be her mother to teach and correct her, as well as provide love and care. And to appreciate it all.

Toddlers are smart. They are cunning. They run our emotions around and around and around.

Psychological warfare, according to Webster: Actions intended to reduce an opponent’s morale. Here are some everyday examples:

  1. The tantrum hug. This is an incredibly effective tactic of Sofia’s. After I’ve said ‘No’ or have done any kind of discipline, she leaps into my arms and gives me a bear hug while crying/screaming. This swings my emotions around in circles from feeling anger/fear/concern to compassion/warmth/love. It is the most confusing. It does help us both calm down…
  2. ‘Sama’. This means ‘i’ll do it all by myself in Czech’. It’s Sofia’s life motto at the moment. Which means not only that she thinks she can do everything by herself, but that I have to choose 100 times a day:  to either let her = peace+mess+time or not let her = war+faster+cleaner.
  3. Mealtimes. Oh mealtimes. Sofia has always been an all-star eater. She has happily eaten everything I’ve offered her. Well, recently she has experimented with saying ‘No’, pushing away her food, throwing it on the floor, using it as lotion, spitting it out. This has become very stressful for me. I never know when we sit down how she will choose to react. This DEFINITELY affects my mealtime morale.
  4. Learning new things and being ridiculously cute. Toddlers have this tactic perfected. They are learning so much so fast and they know very well the reaction that they will elicit from their parents. Sofia knows that I can hardly say ‘No’ to her as she is singing the ABC’s (only to ‘G’) in her sweet little voice. Or since she has learned ‘Peese’, how can I not give her a cookie? She has also learned that it is much more beneficial to learn people’s names….because then THEY are more likely to give her anything she wants, even after mommy has said ‘No’.
  5. Running to daddy. My husband has beautiful relationships with our daughters. At the highest moment of tension between my toddler and I, inevitably, daddy walks in the door and she leaps into his arms. Any other moment of the day and this would absolutely warm my heart, but in this instance, it hurts.
  6. The hug/wipe your nose on my leg move. I noticed that I was getting an above average amount of bear hugs from my little one and felt like the happiest mama in the world. Then later in the day I notice my pants have been used as a hanky over and over and over!

Photo 166I could go on and on….we all have our own stories. If your toddler is getting the best of you and your morale is down, take heart. Let me encourage with you a few tips…

(Have I already mentioned that I am NOT an expert? Just consumed by this topic at the moment and was invited to share)

Weapons? Arm yourself.

  1. Hold your baby/toddler when they are asleep. There is something deeply calming and disarming. I feel like my toddler and I have had extensive reconciliation times as she is sleeping in my arms.
  2. Remember the nurturing times. Remember that things will change. Remember that you are not alone.  Remember.
  3. Laugh ALOT. Play. Giggle alongside of your toddler. Get on all fours and listen to her giggle. Discover what she thinks is funny and see the humor in it. Laughter dissolves tension wonderfully.
  4. Patience. I’m not sure exactly when to get this quickly when it is most needed, except from God. This weapon alone is a reason for faith in God, because patience as a human resource is SO limited….and is exhausted SO quickly by a toddler. The patient kind of love really only comes from God. Believe me. I’ve tried to find it everywhere else. Ask Him for it.
  5. Don’t take things so seriously. I love having a clean, vacuumed, mopped floor. But I am slowly letting it become less important. It is very hard. With a toddler + food and toddler + toys and toddler + play doh, it is just impossible. I could really go crazy if I got upset every time I found a crayon bit somewhere. Take safety, health and love seriously. Maybe pick one or two things to really capitalize on and hold loosely to the rest. Let everything else be negotiable.
  6. Talk with your toddler. I have found that so many of Sofia’s meltdowns come when she simply can’t communicate what she wants or needs. The more I let her feel heard, the more questions I ask, the more I repeat what I think she is saying (it’s such a mixture of Czech and English, it’s hard to pull something recognizable out!), the more open she is to my instructions, discipline, and the worst word of all, ‘NO’.
  7. Soak in ALL the love your toddler gives. The hugs, the kisses, the cuddles and the tackles.
  8. TRY to have perspective that everything will continue to change, including us. We are learning and growing as parents and as people, and this is an incubator for growth. Hard, but good growth. Our toddlers will change and the battles will look different….enjoy the journey!
IMG_6166Jane Hasik is an American expat living in Prague with her Czech husband, Martin and two lovely little girls, Sofia, 2 years, and Mia, 6 months. She loves having her red table full of good friends, food and conversation and enjoys being in the middle of a project of any kind. She loves being a beginner at many things and is an expert at nothing!

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Two Prayers for Two Very Different Days

March 30th, 2010

I have a confession… sometimes I hate being a mom. Sometimes I feel totally lost and like the worst mom ever. Sometimes I feel totally selfish and just want to “send him back”. Yesterday was one of those days. This is the prayer I wrote at the end of it…

Lord, forgive me for the ugliness of my own heart.

Forgive me for the resentment I can harbor in my heart towards my precious child.

Forgive me for the anger that can well up so quickly from nowhere even towards one so young, helpless, and innocent.

Forgive me for the deep selfishness that so often lifts its head to threaten my intimacy with my beautiful baby.

Teach me to love my child even when his needs, demands, and fussing keeps me from those things which I both need and want.

Teach me to love my child when he cries all through the night and keeps me from much needed sleep.

Teach me to love my child even when his whining and crying keeps me from doing those things which I think I “have” to do – like the dishes, or keeping the house clean, or getting the laundry done, or responding to emails.

Teach me to love my child when he kicks me, pulls my hair, and aggressively pushes me away when I am holding him – it’s not personal.

Teach me to love my child even when his desire for my constant presence and attention keep me from pursuing my own hobbies and interests.

Teach me to love my child even when I can’t ever finish anything I start.

Teach me to love my child even when he won’t go down for naps and I have little to no break.

Give me new vision for this little person that has been entrusted to me.

Place a new passion on my heart for the gift of life that I hold in my arms.

Give me patience for those moments when I feel lost and confused.

Give me peace and encouragement for those times when I feel like the worst mother ever.

Give me endurance for the sleepless nights and the long days of endless chores and monotonous activity.

Teach me to find joy in reading simple board books over and over again.

Teach me to find joy in being constantly chewed and sucked on whether it’s my finger, breast, arm, elbow, shoulder or chin, or whatever.

Teach me to find joy in narrating my actions, singing silly songs like the itsy bitsy spider, dangling toys just out of reach, and generally entertaining my baby however I can.

Teach me to find joy in holding my child even when my arms ache and my back is sore.

Teach me to find joy in the constant noise and the loss of the silence which I used to enjoy.

Teach me to find joy in being my child’s own personal jungle gym.

And when I need it most bring me rest.

I can’t do it on my own. Change me, Lord. Teach me to find peace and joy and identity in my new role as mother. Bring new life and rejuvenation. Resurrect me.

Amen.

I have another confession to make… sometimes I really love being a mom. Sometimes I feel totally fulfilled by simply taking care of my child and my husband. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the amount of love and affection I can feel towards my baby. Sometimes I feel like I have it all figured out. Today was one of those sometimes. Here is my prayer today…

Thank you, Lord, for being present with me in the mundane details of my day today.

Thank you for bringing sleep to my sons heavy eyes so that I could rest and work.

Thank you for giving me motivation and creativity so that I could get things done while still being intimately with my child.

Thank you for giving me ways to entertain him at just the right moments when I felt like I was completely out of ideas.

Thank you for a productive and positive day – a day when my hands worked hard, and my back ached, but I can now look around and feel proud of what I accomplished.

Thank you for giving me this day my daily bread – for meeting my needs right where I was.

But, Lord, I know that today was a good day only because of your grace to me.

I thank you for it, yet I know that I still stand on fragile ground.

I still need you… desperately.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Who knows what tonight will bring.

Whatever you choose to send, I am choosing now to accept it from your hands.

I trust that you know what’s best for me.

I trust that you know what’s best for my son.

I trust that you know what’s best for my family.

And I trust that you will meet our needs, at exactly the moment we need you to.

Lord, I need you.

I need you to continually speak sweet encouragement to me as I struggle to figure out what it looks like to mother well.

I need you to continually make me less self centered and more selfless so that I can gladly meet the needs of my child without resentment.

I need you to continually bring me days of rest and nights when my baby will sleep, because when my body is fatigued my mind and soul are hard pressed to meet each days demands.

I need you to show me what is really required of me so that I don’t heap unneeded guilt upon my own shoulders or the shoulders of those around me.

Today I rejoice over a good day, and over how far you have brought me from the place I was in yesterday.

But, today I also recognize that I still have a long way to go and tomorrow is another day.

So, again I pray…

I can’t do it on my own. Change me, Lord. Teach me to find peace and joy and identity in my new role as mother. Bring new life and rejuvenation. Resurrect me.

Amen.
Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Blessing for My Son

October 5th, 2009

IMG_1794Well, I’m a mom. On Saturday September 26th at 4:51am I gave birth in my parents’ house to my first born son, Thaddeus Raffi Stedman. At 2 weeks early and 6 pounds 11 ounces he was tiny, but perfect.

Yesterday we had some of our immediate family over to bless and pray for Thaddeus. It was simple and very short, but very meaningful for Bryan and I and we hope Thaddeus as well. Bryan and I had written a liturgy for Thad for the occasion and I thought I would share it here. Please join us in praying that these things would be true of our son as he grows.

Blessing Ceremony for Thaddeus Raffi Stedman

Celebrants together:
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

Celebrant:
“Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”

Celebrant:
“The blessing of Christ comes to you in this child.
His blessing is mercy and kindness and joy.
Blessing comes to home and to family.”

Grandparents together:
Blessed are You, Our God, Spirit of the Universe
Who fulfills the words of the Psalmist: ‘And may
you live to see your children’s children…’

Mother and Father together:
“Blessed are you, Oh Lord, Our God, King of the universe who bestows goodness upon the accountable, who has bestowed every goodness upon us.”

Celebrant:
“Amen, He who has bestowed goodness upon you, may He bestow every goodness upon you forever.”

Mother:
I bless you, son of my womb…
Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.
I bless your body.
May it be strong and resilient all the days of your life.
May your body be for you a source of joy, but not of arrogance.
May the strength of your limbs provide protection and help for those who need it, and may your arms circle with care those whom you love, bringing comfort and encouragement to many.
I bless your body.
I pray that God would shield it and hold it all the days of your life, and raise it anew to glory on the day the last trumpet sounds.

Father:
I bless you, son of my love…
Love of my love, reward of my passion, answer of my tenderness
I bless your deep heart.
May it be free and unfettered all the days of your life.
May you know passion in your work, in your play and in your love.
May your heart reach out in tenderness and protection towards those who are hurting, may it guide you to that which is good, right and true, and may it surround those around you with compassion, openness and grace.
I bless your heart. I bless your love.
I pray that God would shield it and hold it all the days of your life, and reward it abundantly and graciously on the day the last trumpet sounds.

Mother:
I bless you, son of my labor…
Gift of my effort, result of my toil, delight of my pain
I bless your struggle.
May the struggles, challenges, and pain of your life always be mixed with deep joy.
May you find God amidst your sorrows, and feel his presence close at hand during times of uncertainty.
May you fight bravely, struggling on behalf of others for justice and beauty and all those things which are worth fighting for in this world.
May you fight for those who cannot fight for themselves, and battle on behalf of the weak and needy.
I bless your struggle.
I pray that God would protect you so that you can protect others all the days of your life, and when the day of judgment comes may he say unto you “well done, good and faithful servant.”

Father:
I bless you, son of my joy…
Wonder of my happiness, miracle of my awe, child of my delight
I bless your pursuit of joy.
May you delight in life and wonder at creation.
May you find joy in all the little things, and see beauty in all that’s around you.
May you play freely and bring delight and joy and laughter to all those around you, contagiously spreading to them your curiosity, creativity and hunger for life.
I bless your pursuit of joy.
I pray that God would protect you and that all your pursuits of joy would lead you quickly to his throne of grace, and when the day of judgment comes may he know you as his own.

Father and Mother together:
We lift up this child to you, Lord.
We recognize that he is your gift to us and that we are only stewards of him.

Father:
We lift up this child to you, Lord.
And give him the name Thaddeus Raffi Stedman
And pray that he would live up to the meanings and significances of his name.

Mother:
Thaddeus has several  meanings, all of which are things that we desire for you. First, it means “heart”, or “breast” or “courageous heart” and we pray that you would have a courageous heart. May you be a man with heart, passion, and sensitivity. May you have a heart that does not shrink with fear, but instead expands with love. Thaddeus can also mean wise or valiant. We pray that you would grow in wisdom and valiantly follow the voice of wisdom throughout your life. Lastly, Thaddeus can mean “praise” or “God’s gift” and we recognize through this name that you are God’s gift to us and we will ever praise him for that gift.

Father:
We pray that you would be like the Apostle Thaddeus (also known as Jude) who became one of the patriarchs of the Armenian church, and was known as the patron saint of lost causes. Like this Thaddeus of old, may you follow Christ Jesus as his disciple. May you take up the cause of the hurting and oppressed even when no one else will and it seems that the cause is “lost”. And may you be a spiritual father or patriarch to many.

Mother:
Raffi means “highly praised” and we pray that you would be highly honored and admired by those who meet you. May you have few enemies and many friends. May those who come to know you, come to admire you. But may you also always remember, and direct others to remember, the One who alone is worthy of all praise and glory and honor.  May people’s admiration of you turn quickly to admiration of Christ Jesus.

Father:
We pray that you would be like Raffi Francian, or Papa as we call him. May you be like Papa in his ability to put others at ease and be a friend to everyone he meets as well as his ability to “not sweat the small stuff.” May you have Papa’s adventurous spirit that is always up for anything and quick to try new things. We pray that this would bring you to have many great stories to tell throughout your life and that you would always be ready to share them and give God glory for them.

Celebrants together:
Welcome, Thaddeus Raffi Stedman,
child of love.
We welcome you with open arms and hearts of love.

Grandfathers together:
Grow strongly, Thaddeus,
in love of God.
We bless you,
and pray
Christ be near you,
now and each hour
of your life.”

Grandmothers together:
“Grow gently, Thaddeus,
in love of God.
We bless you,
and pray
Christ be near you,
now and each hour
of your life.”

(Opportunity for people to pray openly as they feel led for Thaddeus)

Celebrants together:
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

Amen.

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The Giving Tree

July 31st, 2009

My husband and I both have very fond memories of reading the book The Giving Tree as children. I always thought it was a wonderful book and it was one of the first children’s books that we put on our wish list. We were very excited to receive a beautiful hard cover copy of it as a gift for our baby. So, a few nights ago I decided to open it up and read it aloud to my stomach. Ever since then I have sort of been thinking about it off and on. Something about it really bothered me when I read it the other night and it continued to bother me throughout the last few days. Today thoughts started to form around this vague bothered feeling and I want to share them here.

I’m guessing that many of you have read this book as it is a very popular children’s story, but if you haven’t here is a short recap of the story from Amazon:

“In Shel Silverstein’s popular tale of few words and simple line drawings, a tree starts out as a leafy playground, shade provider, and apple bearer for a rambunctious little boy. Making the boy happy makes the tree happy, but with time it becomes more challenging for the generous tree to meet his needs. When he asks for money, she suggests that he sell her apples. When he asks for a house, she offers her branches for lumber. When the boy is old, too old and sad to play in the tree, he asks the tree for a boat. She suggests that he cut her down to a stump so he can craft a boat out of her trunk. He unthinkingly does it. At this point in the story, the double-page spread shows a pathetic solitary stump, poignantly cut down to the heart the boy once carved into the tree as a child that said “M.E. + T.” “And then the tree was happy… but not really.” When there’s nothing left of her, the boy returns again as an old man, needing a quiet place to sit and rest. The stump offers up her services, and he sits on it. “And the tree was happy.”

Ok, so I have always thought that this story was a great example of selflessness and generous giving, but as I read it again as an adult I found a whole different story within it and it was honestly unsettling.

Let’s talk about the boy first. The little boy, who grows into an old man through the course of the story, is definitely not someone I want my son to be like. He’s selfish and an incessant consumer. He takes, and takes and takes. He knows the tree loves him and he uses that love to his own advantage to get what he wants. He has no thought for the destructive force of his actions. I do not want my son to manipulate others love for him in the way this boy did. I don’t want him to selfishly walk all over people the way this little boy did. I don’t want him to endlessly consume from others and from the natural resources around him the way this little boy did with no thought of consequences. The boy is not a character I want my son to emulate.

So, how about the tree? When I was younger I felt that the tree was the real hero in the story, the character that should be emulated. I thought the tree’s selfless giving was beautiful and fulfilling, but now I see a different story and a different side of things. It’s true the tree is selfless and giving, generous and loving and these are all characteristics that I want my son to have and strive after. But, as I read the story this time, I felt uncomfortable with the tree’s giving. It seemed unhealthy. The relationship that the tree has with the boy seems abusive and the tree seems to be victimized in the story. The tree allows herself to be walked all over and taken advantage of time and time again. As I read it I felt uncomfortable with the way that the tree enabled and sustained the little boys consumption and selfishness. I do want my son to be giving, I do want him to pour himself out on behalf of others and love others generously, but I do not want my son to become as weak as this tree and allow himself to be abused and taken advantage of like that. As I look more closely at this story I don’t think that the tree is really worthy of emulating either.

I think the story actually shows us how messed up two good things can become in a relationship. Here’s what I mean… Giving selflessly to another is incredibly beautiful and valuable. And I personally also believe that allowing ourselves to accept and receive and take from another what they freely offer us is also incredibly beautiful and valuable. Relationships need and should have both these things. We should be able to give freely and receive freely in relationships. But, I think there needs to be balance. The problem comes when the balance is lost and it becomes all giving or all taking – it’s then that the relationship can become unhealthy like that of the little boy and the tree. At least that’s what I think at this stage in my life as I read this story. Anyone else have any other thoughts on this classic children’s book??

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

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