Posts Tagged ‘friends’

Admiration Monday: Vina of A Nourishing Home

June 21st, 2010

Today I want to tell you about a woman who has constantly encouraged me over the past few months since I found her blog. So often when I read something Vina has written my heart and soul just sigh a deep, “YES!” I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels. Today I was reading the About page on her blog and all I could think as I read was, “I want to be her friend.”

Do you ever meet someone and just feel right away that they are a long lost “bosom friend” as Anne would say, an “anamchara” (soul friend) as the Celtic saints of old would call it. I’ve never really met Vina, but that’s how I feel when I read her blog. We could be friends; I wish we were friends, and not just blogger friends. She’s one of a very small handful of bloggers who I would love to actually meet – sit across the table from and learn from in person. Although, honestly, I probably would feel way to intimidated to really meet her in person.

Vina inspires me. She is thoughtful, intentional, and intuitive. Her posts are beautiful, insightful, and intelligent. She writes with clarity and purpose. She is relatable and doesn’t hide her own insecurities, or struggles. She describes herself as a “domestically-challenged-freak-of-nature” who sometimes forgets to brush her teeth and “doesn’t really notice the dust that accumulates on top of [the] furniture.” Oh, how I can relate!

I can also deeply relate to how she describes her beliefs. I’ll let her say it because she says it so well:

I am a follower of Jesus, but I don’t readily identify with mainstream American Christianity, nor am I a huge fan of institutions and organized religions. I believe that there is more to be learned from each other, more Wisdom we can ever possibly possess if we venture out of the confines of Tradition. I am more an advocate of mothering from the heart and of listening to our children. I like the idea of growing through motherhood and marriage more than perfecting my roles in either. I advocate questions and doubts alongside faith and trust. I have a need to look to the Creator and his entire creation as my Guide. I am hopeful that I can live out the messiness of my life in a beautiful way. I trust in Redemption. I want to learn from Life with grace and humility.

Isn’t that beautiful?

Vina is also someone I feel I could learn a lot from. I feel like I can learn a lot from her parenting style, her writing style, her marriage, and all of the little stories she shares. I can relate to Vina in “my own little quiet introverted intuitive feeling perceptive way” but I also feel like she is a bit farther along in the journey than I am, so there’s so much that I can learn from her.

She has four words that guide what she writes about and that influence the journey of becoming that she is on. They are Simplicity, Authenticity, Creativity, and Generosity. Here’s what she has to say about each of them:

Simplicity

I’ve grown quite a lot in simplicity the past few years especially after having lived overseas during my post-college years. It’s also my natural bent because I am an idealist at heart and I seek after the essence of things. I want to cut through the fluff, get down to the core of Life and live from the Center. Back to the Simple and the Basics, that is all.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo da Vinci

Authenticity

Authenticity is something I am just beginning to grasp on a heart level. I’ve always known the kind of person I am, but only recently am I becoming truly comfortable in my own skin. To truly embrace who I am, the good and bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Because I’m all those things.

“This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day. Thou canst not then be false to any man.~ Hamlet, Shakespeare

Creativity

Along with that is a rediscovery of my creativity, embracing the artist and the child in me who I have lost somewhere in life. When I participate in the act of creating, I come alive. Part of our calling as human beings is to add to the Beauty in this world.

“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources” – Albert Einstein
Generosity

And lastly, but not least is a journey towards generosity, an other-centered life. Simplicity, authenticity and creativity leads to abundance and when it overflows, it demands to be shared. I want our family to be a Life-giving force in this world. I am interested in looking at home management from a social justice and world perspective. How do our choices in our spending, eating and parenting affect the members of the bigger human family that we are all part of? How can we nourish our families in ways that are nourishing to the rest of the world as well?

“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

(As a side note, just the fact that she included these quotes made me like her even more – I have a secret love for good quotes and have sort of collected them throughout the years).

Each of those words already had a special place in my heart before I ever discovered Vina’s blog and I really admire how she writes about them and the insight that she lends to them.

Last week Vina wrote this post about how she will be unplugging a bit for the summer. She has decided that she will be going “off the grid for the entire months of July and August except on Mondays.” On Mondays she’ll blog, comment, tweet, etc. But the rest of the summer she wants to spent time with her family and enjoy a little bit of an Internet Detox. I really admire this, and admire how she approaches unplugging for the summer. I so admire what she is doing for her heart and her family.

I unplugged from almost all social media and barely blogged at all through most of my pregnancy and firsts few months of motherhood. In many ways it was so good for me and exactly what I needed at that stage in my journey. But, lately, I’ve also been so glad to come back to it with full force.

I know from personal experience that when you don’t write often you start to lose traffic and subscribers. I don’t want that to happen to Vina and her beautiful blog. Vina is a writer who deserves to be read. So, even though she won’t be writing or commenting all that much this summer I really want to encourage all of my readers to go check out her blog. Look around, dig through her archives, read her about page, leave a comment, and SUBSCRIBE.

Vina is one of my all time favorite bloggers and I admire her so much.
A Prayer of Blessing for Vina of A Nourishing Home

Circle Vina, Jesus,
Keep peace within
and discouragement out.
Circle Vina, Spirit,
May these long days of summer be filled with laughter for her.
May all her days be filled with love and deep joy.
Circle Vina, Father/Mother of us all,
Sustain her growth in simplicity.
In authenticity, reveal to her new depths of herself, her daughter, her husband and You .
Inspire and breathe life into her creativity.
May her abundance overflow into abundant generosity.
Circle Vina, Jesus,
protect her deep heart,
guide her dreams,
quite her insecurities.
Circle Vina, Spirit,
Keep joy near,
and turmoil afar.
Circle Vina, Father/Mother,
Nourish her being,
fill her heart and home with Life.
In the name of the eternal three in one,
Bless Vina, that she might continue to bless others.
Amen.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



Admiration Mondays: Brie Endicott

June 7th, 2010

endicott familyToday’s post is about a person who is very special to me, my sister.

When Brie and I were younger we didn’t always get along. We were only 13 months apart in age and we often competed with each other and got jealous of one another other. Our relationship didn’t fit the big-sister/little-sister picture and we didn’t always have common interests. As we have grown though our relationship has also grown and changed. I can now say that my sister is not only my sister, she is a dear friend who I have missed every day since coming back to Prague.

I think there has been a part of me that has always admired my sister. I’ve admired her guts and gusto, her beauty and energy, her ability to talk with anyone and her ease in meeting new people. These are things I have both admired and been jealous of at times.

My sister is one of the most beautiful women I know. She always has been. She’s attractive, and she constantly had a slew of guys pursuing her. She’s fun and energetic, vivacious and creative. She was always up on the latest trend and the newest fashion and now that she’s a mom she’s the perfect person to go to when you want to know what brand of stroller is the best and what diaper bag is going to be the most stylish.

One of the things I love about my sister is she is just fun to be with. We can still giggle like school-girls together over desert, she always has a good story to tell and she’s up for almost anything. But, I’ve also realized as we’ve gotten older that she can be trusted with deep secrets and that she is a great person to go to when you just need to vent. She’ll listen and understand and she won’t judge you.

Most of all, though, I admire the mom my sister has become. Like all mothers she’s not perfect, but she’s one of the best mom’s I know. She loves her children so much and does so much for them each and every day. My sister’s kids are all incredibly close in age, with the first two only 16 months apart, and that can be so difficult and taxing, but she has handled it with incredible grace and beauty.

I loved that when I became a mom my sister went above and beyond to support and help me. She told me her little breastfeeding tricks, gave me advice about birth and pregnancy, gave me maternity cloths, cloths for the baby, toys for the baby, really she gave me gift after gift after gift. Her generosity and grace towards me was boundless and I’m not sure I would have been able to make it through the difficult first days of motherhood without her.

What really amazed me was that she did it all, was constantly providing for my needs as a new mother, while also caring for her three children and husband, moving out of their house and helping my mom host a rather large family Christmas. She never ran out of energy, she never dropped a ball. My sister is organized, and knows how to get things done. She’s loyal and faithful to do what she says she will do. She amazes me all the time.

I think every new mom needs someone in their lives like my sister. They need a mommy friend who’s just a little bit ahead of them, who can show them the ropes, help them out at the beginning and give them the encouragement they need. For me that person has been my sister and I’m so glad that it has. I feel like I have gotten to see my sister and all that she is and does with new eyes since becoming a mom and it makes me admire her so much.

I miss you, Brie, and can’t wait to see you next month!


A Prayer for Brie Endicott:
Circle Brie, Father,
when children scream, and baby’s poo and things break,
give her peace to rise above it all and respond with grace.
Circle Brie, Father,
when the mundane tasks of the day pile up,
give her truth to know that the work she is doing in her children’s lives is infinitely valuable.
Circle Brie, Father,
when she feels alone and overwhelmed,
surround her with people who love her and will encourage her.
Circle Brie, Father,
bless her as she has blessed me and so many others.
Father, Circle Brie,
Keep peace within
and turmoil out.
The eternal Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
shield Brie on every side. Amen.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



Admiration Mondays: Shell Walker

May 31st, 2010

I had very definite ideas of what I wanted the birth of my first child to look like. And I had very specific ideas for what I was looking for in a doctor/midwife. In the first five months of my pregnancy I visited three different gynecologists and interviewed three midwives. Shell was the third midwife I spoke to and when we met her we knew we had found a good match. In some ways Shell was different then I envisioned, she had some spunk to her that I hadn’t really thought of when I envisioned my ideal midwife, but now her spunk is one of the things I love most about her.

There’s a quote from a 16th century midwifery text that says this:

“A Midwife Should Possess A Lady’s Hand, A Hawk’s Eye and A Lion’s Heart”

That is a great way to describe Shell. She has a lady’s hand. She is gentle and kind, compassionate and open.

She has a hawk’s eye. She is ready for whatever happens. She is experienced, intelligent and sharp.

And she has a lion’s heart. She is passionate and energetic. She is strong and powerful. She leads well when needed, but never steps on anyone’s toes and absolutely never forces anything on anyone.

Shell Walker is truly captivating. Shell is one of those people who the more you get to know her, the more interesting she is. Each time we talked with Shell we found out new things about her and I was always so inspired and amazed. She has done so many things and learned from so many disciplines. She is incredibly knowledgeable and experienced. She is professional and her care is comprehensive. I felt like I could trust her completely.

Even with all of her expertise I never felt like she pushed her own ideas or knowledge on my husband and me. She ALWAYS gave us space to make decisions for ourselves. She really let us have the birth that we wanted and allowed us to guide our own birth experience. But, when we weren’t sure about a decision we could ask Shell about it and know that she would give us an informed and balanced opinion – I loved that I could make my own decisions and lead my birth process, and that I also felt completely comfortable deferring to her when I needed to. I felt like Shell gave us the perfect balance of freedom and direction. She was available and knowledgeable and ready to step in if needed or wanted, but when not needed she was able to step aside and let us lead the way.

Shell spent hours and hours with us before the birth and after the birth, not to mention the all-nighter she pulled with us during the actual labor. I felt like she was completely available to us. If we had a question or concern we could, call, text, or email and she would always respond promptly. Even when I was in Prague, and seeing another midwife for my prenatal care, Shell was still hands-on and available to me. I never felt rushed with her. Instead I felt like each time I was with her she wanted to be with me too. It was such a different experience from a normal doctor!

After having gone through a birth with Shell I feel like she is more than just my “care provider”. I feel like she knows me, I feel like she really cares for me. She is my midwife, in all of the most intimate and beautiful meanings of the word. I feel so grateful that I was able to have her beside me holding my hand and supporting me through the most amazing, awe-inspiring, difficult, and beautiful experience of my life.

A Little Blessing for Shell:

Spirit, circle Shell.
Keep comfort near
and discouragement afar.
Spirit, circle Shell.
Bless the hands that deliver life into the world.
Bless the hands that encircle and hold so many women through the biggest change of their lives.
Bless the hands that give strength when strength is needed, direction when confusion floods the heart, and support when weakness presses in.
Spirit, circle Shell.
Bless the work she is doing to create a safe, peaceful space for women to bring forth life.
Spirit, circle Shell.
May she be as blessed and encouraged by the mothers she walks beside as I know they are by her.
Spirit, circle Shell.
Mother her as she has mothered so many.
Spirit, circle Shell.
Keep peace within
and turmoil out.
Spirit, circle Shell.
Keep hope within
and disappointment without.
Keep light near
and darkness afar.
I bless you, Shell, midwife and sister,
in the name of the Holy Three,
the Father, the Son and the Sacred Spirit.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



Floating in a Sea of Blessings

July 25th, 2009

Last night some friends here threw me a baby shower. It was small and intimate (just like I like), and so beautiful and encouraging. We had dinner together and desert of course and talked and just hung out which was really nice. But, they also planned a few really special activities for us throughout the evening.

The first was a casual and fun thing to do after dinner as we talked together. My friend Carrie had got a beautiful white baby blanket and each of the ladies present brought a piece of material to sew onto the blanket. So we had a little sewing circle and all gathered around the blanket and everyone added their contribution. It was a simple activity but to me it felt very symbolic too, especially after the other activities of the evening. Everyone’s piece of fabric was different and cut differently and even sewed on differently, just like each unique person present, but they all came together in a beautiful way. In some ways I felt like they were saying through the act that they were excited about this baby and ready to give him a little unique piece of themselves and their heart. (haha, Yes, I tend to read a lot into things)

After that we opened presents, which were each so sweet and cute. And then came what was probably my favorite part. They had a beautiful peachy colored scarf that they tied on different body parts of my body as they prayed for and over that part of my body. It might sound a little strange to others, but to me it was perfect. It meant more to me then just having them pray generally over me and my baby, because it connected with something very significant to me, my physicality. I think I’ve always been pretty kinesthetic and related to the world and God in very physical ways. I really love using my body – for a long time now I’ve realized that I experience God most when my body is doing something or connected with what my mind and heart are feeling. And because of various health issues I’ve had off and on throughout my life I’ve always been very aware of my body and the feelings and changes that go on in it. So, it felt right to me that now at a time of change when my body feels overwhelmingly different and sometimes like it’s screaming out to me and it’s all I can focus on that my friends would surround me and pray for my body. But, as well as being very connected with my body I also have a deep love for the symbolic, so I loved that in so many of the prayers and blessings for different parts of my body there was symbolism and the blessing was more deeply for that in my life which the tangible body part represented. It was truly beautiful.

All that in and of itself would have been special enough, but my friend Carrie who planned it all took it a step further and it was really the icing on the cake. She contacted some of my closest friends in the states and asked them to also write a blessing/prayer for a part of my body. So, the activity also brought to groups of dear friends in my life together in a beautiful way. I really felt like my friends from the states were present and it was such a blessing to feel surrounded by people both here and there who love me and my husband and this new baby so much. One dear friend from here who just moved back to the states actually recorded her message and it was so touching to hear her voice – I actually got a bit choked up when I first heard it – such a blessing.

But, again things didn’t end there. After the prayers they each shared some reasons why they think I will be a good mom. And again both friends from here and friends from the states shared things they saw in me that they think will make me a great mother. Each person’s was so unique and so fitting for the experiences they’d had with me, and together it really created such an encouraging picture for me to see how much my friends believe in my ability to parent. I have had my share of fears about whether or not I will be able to be a good mother to this child. At one point in my pregnancy those fears became so strong that I actually had a total crying break down and started hyperventilating. So, it really made me feel bolstered up and encouraged to hear that my friends had such confidence in me. But, it did something else for me too, it made me feel that not only did they believe in my ability to mother but they supported me. I knew these women each loved me in their own ways where ever they are at in their lives or the world at large. And I was reminded that in those days to come when I doubt again my ability to parent and the way seems unsure and difficult I have beautiful women in my life that I can turn to for encouragement, support and advice, as well as a good deal of laughter when needed.

Truly throughout the whole evening I felt completely surrounded, hemmed in on every side. It was beautiful and I am so thankful. I felt like I wasn’t just showered with love, I was overcome with it. I floated in a sea of it and I continue to float, held aloft to the Father by so many beautiful people, both those who were a part of this shower and so many others who I know also care deeply for me and my baby.

Thank you all.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



“Friends” and Community

January 12th, 2009

“So, no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your jobs a joke, your broke, your love life’s D.O.A.
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year
But I’ll be there for you (when the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you (like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you (because you’re there for me too)” – Friends Theme Song

So, I have a little confession. I LOVE the show “Friends”. We own all 10 seasons and I’m guessing that I’ve probably seen from season 1 to season 10 straight through in order close to 10 times. I enjoy Friends because I find it funny and a bit mindless, which means it’s relaxing for me to watch (unlike some of my other show additions, like LOST). But, I’ve realized lately that there is something deeper portrayed in Friends and it’s probably the real reason that I love Friends, because, it’s a core value of mine… Community.

I don’t know why it took watching the show for so long in order for me to realize it, but Friends is a great picture of true community. Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Joey and Chandler aren’t just Friends they are a community. They live life together in a very real and consistent manner. I thought of so many examples of this, here’s just a few:

1.       They share meals together regularly (basically daily or almost daily)

2.       They share their homes with each other – when Ross loses his job and apartment he moves in with Joey and Chandler, when Phoebe and Rachel’s apartment catches on fire Phoebe moves in with Monica and Rachel moves in with Joey, etc.

3.       They take care of each other when one or more of them is in a difficult financial situation – Chandler pays for most of Joeys expenses while Joey’s trying to make it as an actor, Ross gives Monica money for rent when she loses her job, Phoebe loans Monica money to start a catering company, they all pitch in to pay for Rachel to go on a vacation with her family, etc.

4.       They encourage each other and cry with one another through break ups and deaths and job losses and infertility and everything life throws at them

5.       They are always there for each other even when it means sacrificing something that they wanted – for example when Rachel brakes a rib and Ross takes her to the emergency room instead of going to his TV interview

6.       They know each other inside and out and share their secrets, hopes and fears with one another.

7.       They fight with each other – they are real and open and themselves around each other and sometimes that leads to fights and messy situations and they don’t try to avoid that or just put on a mask, they are real and that means they get angry with each other and show it – but they are also always able to work past it and forgive each other

8.       They go above and beyond the norm in order to make each other happy and fulfill each other’s desires and dreams – with this I think of the time when Ross found out that Phoebe never had a bike and so he goes out and buys her a bike for no real reason other than care for his friend.

All of this happens largely by choice – each person chooses to love and care for each of the others. But, it also happens largely by proximity. For most of the show at least four of them live across the hall from each other and the others aren’t far away either. This allows for things like sharing breakfast together before work, meeting at the coffee shop down stairs after work, and hanging out countless other times together. When you spend that much time that close to another person it becomes so much easier for you to meet their needs and be there for them because you know what their needs are and you are already present in their lives. When you live in that close of a proximity with someone else it’s also really difficult to be fake and put up a mask – because that person is always there they naturally start to see the real you.

I enjoy Friends for a lot of reasons, but I think the reason I love Friends is because it’s a picture of what I’ve always wanted… real, honest, authentic, caring, holistic community.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

I recently read this post written by Alan Knox at The Assembling of the Church and think he has some great things to say about community.

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)