Posts Tagged ‘Lent’

Some Thoughts on Maundy Thursday

April 1st, 2010

IMG_4733Today I started sprouting some whole un-ground spelt. But, before I got started I decided to sort through the grains because there were these strange little black balls mixed in with the grains. At first I thought they were pepper, but on closer inspection there were not. (Aside: anyone know what they are? And why there were in my spelt?) Anyway, sorting through a bag of un-ground grains was a new experience for me. It was tedious and monotonous, but somehow it seemed like an appropriate activity for Maundy Thursday.

As I sorted the grains it felt a little bit like I was engaged in a type of litany – A call and response between God’s heart and mine. Here are some of the thoughts that God brought up as I sorted the grains.

First, he reminded me that it is not my job to sort. It’s not my job to sort or judge anyone else’s life or heart, AND it’s not even my job to sort my own heart. I have a tendency to be very hard on myself. I want to be perfect and I want to be perfect NOW. I want to change how I act, and think, and feel. I want to change my heart and at times I WORK HARD at trying to do so. But, the truth of the Gospel is that I can’t change myself. I can’t purify my own heart. I can’t sort out all the “icky” stuff from my life. There is none holy, no not one. And I can’t fix myself.

The hope of the Gospel is that Christ is powerful to cleanse us. He stoops down and cleanses the disciple’s feet, washing them clean, purifying them. And he does the same for me. He is the one who sorts through my heart and weeds out all the impurities – all the shaft, rocks, bugs, and little black things that I can’t even recognize any more. I don’t need to cleanse myself, I don’t need to judge myself. He is the One Judge and he is merciful. He is the one who cleanses me and his hand is gentle. IMG_4735

Another thing happened while I was sorting. As I sorted through the grains, I noticed that some of them were broken. For a second I actually thought about sorting out all the broken pieces while I was sorting out the other stuff – I know CRAZY, right? But, there was a little part of me that wanted everything to be perfect and look perfect and uniform. I know it was ridiculous. Those broken pieces were perfectly good pieces of grain even though they didn’t look as nice or perfect as the whole pieces.

Then I heard God whisper… “Bethany, I don’t sort out the brokenness either. The broken pieces stay.” It struck me that when God is cleaning and purifying and sanctifying my life he slowly picks away the rocks, the dirt, the bugs, but he leaves the broken pieces. He leaves the wounds, the hurts, the scars, the places of my life that aren’t neat and clean and whole and perfect. Sometimes I wish he didn’t leave the broken pieces, but there is something beautiful about the fact that he does. He’s not wasteful. He may refine me but every bit of me that is worth keeping will be kept even if it looks a little broken or misshapen.

Oh, and his work is slow. He doesn’t sort and purify quickly. He doesn’t use a machine and haphazardly throw me into a standard system. He slowly picks up and looks at each grain of my heart. He sorts by hand – strong, yet gentle hands.

Search me, Oh God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Rejoicing in the journey-
Bethany

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Returning to Lent

February 17th, 2010

The past few years I have found much encouragement and growth in following the Christian calendar and keeping my thoughts and spiritual journey somewhat in line with the church seasons. The cyclical nature of the seasons, Advent, Epiphany, Lent, Easter and Ordinary Time, have drawn me deeper and deeper into my understanding of and relationship to the Triune God. But, during the past year of pregnancy and the early months of motherhood, I found myself in a season of my own and unable to fully relate to or participate in the church seasons. In fact I didn’t even have a single thought about Advent this year until it was over – really I didn’t have a single thought about much of anything accept my dear difficult child.

Today I woke up to realize that it is Ash Wednesday, and I felt suddenly like I need Lent this year. Need Lent like I have never needed it before. Lent is when we remember the time the Israelites spent wandering in the desert. Lately, I feel like I am wandering unknown territory, my own desert. Lent is also when we remember Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness. Lately, I feel tempted. I feel tempted to ignore God and focus solely on my immediate physical needs. I feel tempted to escapism instead of being present with where I am and what my life looks like at the moment. I feel tempted to despair and to feel like my life has no broader purpose or vision amidst the mundane of peek-a-boo and dirty dishes.

Lent is also a time of repentance and purification during which we prepare again to celebrate and remember the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I remember learning that for a time in the early church Easter was the only time that they baptized new believers and Lent was for these new believers a time of preparation for baptism. Lent was a time of preparing to enter into the family of God. Eventually “older” believers began to also celebrate Lent as a time to renew their faith and commitment to the resurrection life that God offers. This year I feel this subtle historical significance of Lent. I need this. I need to come to God anew. I need a fresh start with Jesus.

Thanks to Christine Sine I recently read this quote from Joan Chittister’s book The Liturgical Year and it really spoke to me about why I need to participate in Lent yet again:

Lent is not a ritual.  It is time given to think seriously about who Jesus is for us, to renew our faith from the inside out.  It is the moment when, as the baptismal waters flow on every Easter Vigil altar, we return to the baptismal font of the heart to say yes once more to the call of Jesus to the disciples, “Come and see” (John 1:39)  It is the act of beginning our spiritual life all over again refreshed and reoriented.  (111)

I want to begin my “spiritual life all over again refreshed and reoriented.” And so this Ash Wednesday I bow my head and heart and say, “Come, Lord Jesus.” Come and draw me into Lent. Show me once again who you are. Teach me anew who I am. I am thirsty and weak, weary and confused. I don’t know how to listen to you. I don’t know how to speak to you. I don’t know how to follow you. I don’t know how to love you or obey you. Come, Lord. Lead me once again through the desert.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany

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Lent Begins with Listening to Where God is Leading…

February 26th, 2009

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and today we enter fully into Lent. This year I am joining Christine Sine and many others in going through this Lenten Guide. Over the past few months I have been really excited about this. Bryan and I have been talking a lot about really entering into Lent and about using it as a time to cleanse our bodies, our lives and our hearts. We had been talking about some pretty extreme disciplines we wanted to try and engage in – including going Vegan for Lent. But, as Lent drew closer we started to hear a different message from God…

We started to hear God asking us to be present with where we are – to not try and make things happen – to accept that we can do nothing on our own and in our own strength and to open our hands and hearts to where he wants to lead us and the place in life that he has given us right now.

Over the past little bit I have been thinking a lot about this verse from John 15:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

The question, “What does it mean to remain in Christ?” has been circling in my head a lot lately. I can’t say that I’ve figured it out – I haven’t. But, I think that one part of it is to rest in trust and allow him to work instead of trying to force things myself. I realize that I do a lot in my own strength and power. I like being in control. I don’t like trusting others, and I especially don’t like trusting God. But, that’s exactly what I feel like He’s calling me to right now. He keeps reminding me that apart from him I can do nothing.

In the past few months God has slowly taken away a lot of security from my husband and I. He has slowly lead us to a place in various areas of our lives where we’ve had to trust him, and wait on him and where we haven’t been able to just do things in our own strength or timing. But, there were still things I was holding on to, I still felt like there were things that I could bring and offer and do. But, the past few weeks something has happened that I have no control over that I can’t do at all. And it’s made that phrase “apart from me you can do nothing” sink in for me in a new way. In this situation I can’t make anything happen, I can’t control the outcome, but there are small things that I can do to help create a fertile environment for God to work and I think it’s given me a picture of how God wants to work with me in other areas of my life. He wants me to stop grasping for the outcomes that I want, stop trying to control things and instead just remain with him, dwell with him and in doing so create a fertile environment for him to move and work and lead me on this journey.

The call of Lent for me this year is a call to let go, to stop striving, to trust and lean back into God’s open arms with reckless abandon. It is a call to remain in him and dwell intimately with him. It is a call to let go of my nagging doubt and distrust and to fall fully into Christ. It is a call to stop striving and fully recognize that it is only in Him that I move and breathe and have my being and apart from him I can do nothing.

That is what I feel God is calling me to this Lent. I’m not sure exactly what it will look like, but I want to follow.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Lent and Easter are just Around the Corner

January 16th, 2009

I’ve been wanting to repost the first blog I wrote about Lent sometime soon, but had forgotten about it with other things that have been going on (like another intensive yoga training this weekend). But, then this morning I had a little time and came across Christine Sine’s Invitation to join her in Getting Ready for Lent and Easter. She invited anyone who wants to participate to use her Lenten guide and also the guide she is doing for the Easter season this year. She also invited bloggers to join her in blogging about their experience with the Lenten guide and Easter guide and the ways in which they are entering into Lent and Easter. I LOVED this idea and of course was quick to jump on board – anyone else want to join me??

For those of you who don’t know much about Lent Christine has a great description here on her blog, or you can read my post on it from last year below (I changed a few things so that the dates would be accurate for this year):

Lent: An Introduction, a Little bit of History, and a Few Ideas

Ash Wednesday is on February 25th this year and will mark the beginning of Lent, so I thought I would share some thoughts I’ve had about Lent, some research and things I’ve learned about it and some ideas of ways to engage in Lent this year that I am contemplating putting into practice.

Lent has a long history. It began in the early church as a time for those who were going to be baptized (baptism happened only once a year on the day before Easter) to prepare themselves for baptism and full acceptance into the church. It was a time for fasting and prayer as well as a time for them to study and learn about Christ and the doctrines of the church. They were to prepare for the new life and new birth that would come with their baptism on Easter. Eventually the rest of the church joined in this practice (some say they did this as a way of showing fellowship with the new believers) and by the Council of Nicene it had become an official season of the church calendar and was established as a 40 day fast of repentance and preparation. It was a time to remember Christ’s 40 days in the wilderness, a time to remember the suffering Christ endured on the cross, and it was a time to remember the sin that put Christ on the cross and the sin in our own lives and world.

At its heart Lent is a journey to wholeness, a journey of joining God in his redemptive and redeeming work in the world. But, that journey begins with a journey through brokenness – we join God in his redemptive work of wholeness by first confronting the brokenness in our own lives and in the world around us. We confront the barriers that keep us from God, the barriers that keep us from each other and the barriers that keep us from God’s creation. This is not a onetime act. We do not overcome these barriers in a day or in 40 days, but the idea is that each year we go through this Lenten process and that at the end of it each time we find ourselves closer…closer to the goal of wholeness and of joining God in His loving work in the world.

Lent is not just about giving something up for a few weeks and it’s not just about focusing on our sin and repenting for a few weeks – it’s really about growth. The very word Lent means “Spring” or “springtime” and indeed just as spring is a time when we plant seeds and bury them in darkness it is a time when we plant ourselves in God and focus on and repent of the darkness in ourselves and in our world. It is a time when through repentance we grow and become a thing of beauty and restoration to the world around us. Lent is really about going through a process that should change us, that should bring us closer to being fully the people God has called us and created us to be.

The church has traditionally made this journey through an emphasis on fasting, almsgiving and prayer.

Fasting has a way of making us more aware of what’s really important in life, when we give up that which is not important we realize what is important. Traditionally in the church there was a lot of discrepancy as to how people should Fast and practice avoidance during Lent. Eventually the Western church declared lent to be 40 days long not counting Sundays. It was to include two days of fasting (ash Wednesday and good Friday) which meant that people were only able to eat one meal on those days (usually in the evening) though they were allowed 2 small snacks during the day to keep up their strength but these snacks could not add up to another full meal. For the Western church Lent also included days of “abstinence” on each Friday during Lent, this meant that ever Friday during lent the church community was not suppose to eat meat at all or drink alcohol, fish was an allowed exception to the no meat rule. In the Eastern Church Lent was also 40 days long but included Sundays and they held to much stricter observance of lent. For the Eastern Church all 40 days were days to abstain from all meat and from all dairy and eggs, basically they all became vegans for 40 days. They also abstained from alcohol during this time. In more modern days many protestants who do observe lent practice fasting in a very different way than either the traditional Western or Eastern church – they simply allowed their congregation to choose what they wanted to give up for the 40 days. But, indifferent to what type of fast is practiced the purpose is the same – to join in Christ’s suffering and in the suffering of the world.

But, fasting was never just for the sack of denial and self-discipline (though those things were part of it). There was a broader purpose to the fasting, a purpose to the denial that went beyond the spiritual development that this practice created and touched on a very practical purpose. The money saved during the fast was to be spent in almsgiving – in giving to the poor. This fast was a way to join with the suffering of the world and to play a part in diminishing that suffering. There was an emphasis during lent on giving to and suffering on behalf of the poor and needy in the world. This was the part of lent that I had known nothing of before and this is the part of lent that struck me most.

The third practice of lent is that of prayer. Christ came. He joined us in our suffering – so much so that he joined us in our death. And so at lent when we remember and dwell on the suffering of our Christ it seems only right that we would in thankful penitence turn our hearts and lives back to Him through prayer. It seems right that during this time of remembrance we would talk with him about our own sin remembering that he came and died not just for some distant purpose or person, He came and died for us each as unique individuals that he wanted to be near and connected to. It seems right that during this time of remembrance we would talk with him about the brokenness in our lives and in the world around us. It seems right that during this time of remembrance we would talk to him about the wrong being done in our world and cry out on behalf of ourselves, our neighbors, our nation and society and on behalf of all those around the world. Through Lenten prayer we confess our failure, confess the ways we fall short, confess and recognize our need for a savior. Through Lenten prayer we recommit ourselves to Christ, the His church and to the redeeming work He is doing and desires to do in the world around us. Through Lenten prayer we silence ourselves and listen to Christ’s heart for us and for the world.

I think as I have learned more about Lent I have learned most of all that Lent is not a means and end in itself… it is a beginning. During Lent we dwell on the suffering and hardships of Christ, the suffering and sin in our own life and the suffering and brokenness in our world and we do this in ways that change us. So that when Easter comes we have a real sense of the great glory that is found in Christ’s resurrection – yes our world is broken, yes our own lives are broken but Christ didn’t just suffer he rose and with his resurrection he brought new life for all of us. So after a time of penitence and brokenness we can come to Easter knowing fully the importance and necessity of Christ’s resurrection and rejoicing fully in the complete and eternal fullness of life that He brings. And we can move on from there hopefully further along in our journey, more fully in tune with Christ, with ourselves and with the world around us.

There is a lot of variety in how the church has practiced fasting, almsgiving and prayer during lent and I think as we enter lent it is important for each of us to search our hearts and figure out how best we can practice these Lenten themes in ways that according to God’s unique calling and work in our lives connects us more closely with the Man of Sorrows and the sorrow-filled world around us.

Here are some Ideas of ways to practice and engage more in the Lenten season this year:

-          $2  Mutunga  Challenge

-          Carry  a pocket size cross with you continually throughout lent as a reminder of the season

-          Pray through the daily offices throughout lent

-          Participate in the stations of the cross

-          Fast and/or abstain from something

-          Work through Christine Sine’s Lenten guide

-          Volunteer somewhere

-          Read some of the original church fathers as a way to learn more about the life, death and resurrection of Christ and the work of His church

-          Spend some time memorizing scripture during lent

-          Set aside time to pray

-          Spend some time confessing your brokenness and sin to God and to another person

-          Commit to praying for the poor, the brokenhearted, the prisoners, the hungry, and the sick around the world and in your own city/neighborhood

-          Wear simple cloths and no jewelry during lent as a symbol of mourning the death and brokenness of our lives and the world

-          If you find that you are really busy and don’t have time maybe make your discipline for Lent that you make time, that you say no to added activities and commitments and instead say yes to rest and spending time with God

-          Find a charity that you believe in and donate to it financially during lent as a small way to mend brokenness in the world

-          Take time to restore a broken relationship in your life

-          Make a commitment to have a minimal impact on the environment during Lent in an effort to restore the brokenness of God’s planet – recycle more, walk more, take public transportation, re-use things in an effort to create less garbage, don’t buy a lot of “stuff”, etc.

-          Go through the Lectionary as a way to read the Bible more during lent 

-          Make a commitment to attend church services more often or at least gather with other believers more regularly during lent

-          If you are married spend some quality date night time with your spouse during lent as a way to restore and refresh any brokenness in your marriage relationship

-          Take time to clean out your house/closet and donate those things you don’t need to those who may need them as a way to restore (in some small way) some of the brokenness in the world

-          Take time to educate yourself more about the human rights violations in the world, the injustice in the world, and in general the brokenness in the world and what you can do to participate in restoring wholeness and health to people

-          Keep a journal during lent as a means for self examination and prayer

-          Spent time meditating on Christ Crucified

-           Place a cross somewhere where you will see it regularly during Lent and remember Christ’s sacrifice and his desire for us to sacrifice on behalf of others as well

-          Pick a meditative phrase to repeat to yourself throughout the day during lent as a reminder of the meaning of the season – for example “Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner.”  Or “Lord, in my hand no price I bring; simply to the cross I cling.” Or some other phrase that helps you to focus on the Lenten season

-    Watch Christine Sine’s Reflections for Lent video

-    Participate in the assignment from spirituality2go site

-    Participate in the 40 day Jesus Creed Challenge 

-          Set an extra place at your dinner table each night during Lent as a reminder to “pray that God would fill up the emptiness of those in need.” And as a reminder “that all (no matter their station in life) are invited to come as guests…as family.”Be creative and find ways in your life to remember the brokenness in the world and join God in restoring wholeness and health to all. I’d love to hear any other ideas you may have for practicing the season of Lent and partaking in the sacrifice of Christ. I personally have been really challenged by Lent this year and I look forward to engaging more in this sacred season of the church.

Rejoicing in the journey –
Beth Stedman

More thoughts on entering into Lent and Easter this year (2009) to come soon! Stay tuned.

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The Story-Formed Calendar

September 13th, 2008

My friend Tara has been an incredible encouragement and inspiration to me over the years and she has now created something that I think will be an encouragement and inspiration to me and others for years to come.

Tara has always loved stories and over the past few years she has entered into the story of Christ and his church by observing and engaging in the seasons of the church year. Now she has created a tool to help others to engage in God’s redemptive story throughout the year. She’s calling it the “Story-Formed Calendar.” It’s a calendar that is centered on the church seasons and the story of Jesus and his church. You can see the first few pages HERE. I think it’s beautiful and I’m excited to use it over the coming year.

Tara has also created a web site where ideas and activities for each season can be shared. It’s a place where people can share the ways in which they and their family are entering into each specific church season and experiencing the life of Christ through it. You can check out the web site HERE. It’s still getting started, but already she has some great thoughts and ideas up.

So, go check it out and … Enjoy :)

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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