Posts Tagged ‘listen’

Bouncing Questions off the walls of my Brain

August 15th, 2008

Wow. I feel like I went from really having nothing to write about a few hours ago to having TONS of thoughts bouncing around my head all of a sudden for no apparent real reason. I really want to write about all of these thoughts, but I can’t really figure out how to write about them right now… hum… Guess I really am tired. Well, maybe for now I’ll just list out a few general things I’m thinking about for later reference…

-          Listening to God – I’ve experienced this in little ways lately and have been thinking about it a lot. What does it really mean to listen to God and what does it look like in our day to day lives?

-          What does it really mean to listen to another human being and really understand what they are trying to say (not what you think they are trying to say but what they are really trying to say)?

-          When you get better at listening to your own heart does it get easier or harder to listen to other people’s hearts?

-          How do you handle times when you are listening to someone and really understanding them and what they are saying really makes sense and you can understand how they would see it that way, but it is so different from your own experience and so different from your own believes and maybe even conflicts with your own hurts? How do you listen to them and validate them while also being genuine and validating to your own story/believes/hurts?

-          Is it always important to get feelings you feel or hurts you experience or ideas/believes you have out in the open? Or is it sometimes beneficial to keep something to yourself or even hid it so as not to hurt someone or cause conflict?

-          How do you really listen to someone when what they are expressing a desire for is something that you don’t want to happen and even fear happening?

Yeah, all these questions/thoughts keep bouncing around my head. Any one of them could probably be a post in and of itself or I probably could have integrated them into one post that was much more coherent then this. But, it’s late. I’m tired. My head is too full with the questions to actually be able to piece them apart into a coherent blog, and so for now you get to just have a little glimpse into my crazy brain.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



Conversations with God: Rest Child

June 27th, 2008

I hear God whispering questions to my soul…

God: “Are you going to listen to me or are you going to listen to your circumstances. Are you going to follow me or are you just going to to give up? Are you going to let me walk you through the desert or are you going to run back to Egypt? Are you going to let me spin my cocoon of change around you or are you going to fight to remain a caterpillar? Will you follow me, Bethany, even when the way is unclear and everything seems to be upside down? Will you follow me into my upside down kingdom?”

Me: “Lord, I want to follow you, but the way is unclear and the path uncertain… and I’m scared.  I don’t want to give up… I won’t give up. I won’t just run back to the easy road. I won’t return to Egypt… but, Lord, could you just tell me where to go instead? Would you tell me what to do next?”

God: “Rest. Stop doing. Just be. I will lead you and I will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it. For now, just be. Be the beautiful, creative, intelligent woman I made you to be, Bethany.”

Me: “But, Lord, I don’t FEEL beautiful, creative or intelligent – I feel awkward most of the time.”

God: “Bethany, it’s not about feeling, it’s about truth. Let me speak my truth about you.”

Me: “But, even if I did believe what you say about me… I wouldn’t know where to bring my beauty, creativity, or intellect – what should I do with the gifts you’ve given me? Where do I fit? What are you calling me to?…”

God: (Interrupting)”… Shhhh. Quiet, my dear child. Be still. You do not have to have all the answers. You do not have to know what to do right now. Just do the small things that I place in front of you. Follow me. Listen to me. Rest in me. And slowly I’ll take you where I want you to go.”

Me: “… Here, I am…Speak, Lord, for your servant listens…”

Rejoicing in the journey -
Beth Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)



Teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it…

February 20th, 2008

I was doing the Morning Prayer from the Northumbria Community site this morning and noticed this short prayer at the top of one of the pages:

Lord, teach me to listen to my heart; teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it.

It hit me like a load of bricks. The first part seemed so closely connected to the phrase that has struck me at the beginning of Lent: “look for Truth deep within me”… “teach me to listen to my heart”… hmmm…

Then I read the second part… “teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it.”…. I’ve never been very good with change. I like to be in control and I don’t like the loss of control that change brings. In the past few years realized how much I don’t like change but also how important change is so I think I’ve sought out change a lot in the last few years and purposely put myself in positions of change. But, lately I’ve been craving stability again… craving staying in one place and putting down roots. But, God seemed to have one more time of change and instability up His sleeve… A 3 month long trip to the states. Sure we choose to take this trip but it always felt like the decision was sort of already made for us. Even as we were trying to decide I think we both knew that we were going to go and that it was what we were supposed to do.

As I have shared here before I have been feeling a sort of tug-of-war of feelings regarding this trip. Some days feeling really excited about people I will get to see in the states and things I will get to be a part of and other days feeling really sad about leave Prague and friends here. But, it wasn’t until last night when after snapping at my husband for the 100th time in the last two days when I finally realized the dominant feeling I was really feeling about the trip. My heart suddenly became so loud that I couldn’t help but listen to it… I was scared. When I thought about the trip I felt sadness about leaving and excitement about being there sure, but what I was really feeling was FEAR…. Deep fear.

So, Lord, teach me to listen to my heart… teach me to listen to my heart and pick up more quickly on what my heart is really feeling so that I don’t let these hidden feelings lay suppressed under the service only to bubble up in anger to hurt those I love. Teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it… once again teach me embrace this ever changing life. I can’t control my life, I can’t control other people. Even You, Lord, choose not to control, choose to let us go our own way. Lord, help me to embrace mystery. Lord, this trip is going to be a lot of change, a time of constant change, we won’t be in our own home, we will be traveling a lot, we will be with a variety of different people (some who I know and love well and others who I don’t know much at all), there will be little that is constant in the next few months. Teach me to cling to you as my constant companion and fellow journeyer. Teach me to not take out my fear on Bryan but to instead cling to him as my fellow partner in this journey. Lord, I am scared. I am afraid of many things about this trip, but teach me to listen to my heart, recognize my fear, and then surrender it to you and move bravely into the unknown that you have before me. In Jesus gracious name. Amen.

Rejoicing in the journey -
Beth Stedman

Never Miss A Post – Receive free updates via RSS or Email

If you like this post please consider buying me a cup of tea (Suggested: $3 a cup)