I have a theory about weddings: On the day of the every one’s wedding something always goes wrong. Sometimes it’s a little thing, sometimes it’s a big thing, sometimes it’s easy and quick to deal with, sometimes it’s not. My friend had the ink filled tag left on her wedding dress and found it the day of the wedding. Someone else had a bumble bee fly up their pants. Sometimes the wrong flowers come. Something is bound to happen and it’s best to expect that, roll with it, and laugh.
The whole six months leading up to my wedding my parents kept telling me that “something is going to go wrong, you just need to roll with the punches.” You’d think they were paranoid I was going to go all psycho on them by how often they told me this. I guess they know me. I have a tendency to be a bit high strung and type-A and a bit of a perfectionist. I can be pretty bossy at times and especially when I was younger I had a temper to match my first-born reputation. Funnily enough I must have taken their advice to heart, or let my husband’s laid back personality rub off on me, because I think I was really calm for the six months of planning the wedding and during our Italy wedding trip. I had a few things that I really wanted – like something besides wedding cake for desert, and a good photographer, and I pushed for those things, but other than that I pretty much said whatever and let things just happen.
I decided early on that I didn’t want to be bridezilla. I didn’t want to make my bridesmaids and everyone else do and wear a bunch of things that that didn’t want to and I didn’t want to spend more than was necessary (I mean we did go to Italy, but other than that I wanted the wedding itself to be very simple). So, I let my bridesmaids each pick their own dress and I just gave them a few requirements so that they would all look good standing together. Basically I told them the dresses had to be black and had to be about knee length and that I didn’t want any of them to have exactly the same neck-line. It worked perfectly. They each choose dresses that flattered their body, that they liked and were able to wear again.
For flowers I was pretty picky about my bouquet (I wanted to have a lot of the same flowers that were in my mothers bouquet and I wanted to use some flowers that had positive traditional meanings/symbolism). But, I kept it simple and easy with the bridesmaids and had them each just carry a single long stemmed white rose. We didn’t have center pieces on the table, I didn’t pick place settings. And I let my dad pick out the menu and food for the evening.
I did sort of get in bossy take charge mode when it came to the rehearsal. I guess the director/choreographer side of me came out. And I did have one minor melt down the day of the wedding. You see the place where we were staying had three balconies. We had planned on having the ceremony on the top balcony since it had the nicest view and then doing the reception on the second balcony since it had this beautiful 900 year old tree that I thought would be lovely to eat and dance under. The day of the wedding the chef said that he wouldn’t carry the food down the stairs to the second balcony and we would have to have the reception on the first balcony. I’ll admit I did panic a little. We had to scramble to re-plan things and move the chairs and tables and we didn’t have time to rehearse the ceremony again – hence why the music for the me entering didn’t last long enough for the longer walk down the aisle on the second balcony. My dad and I ended up walking the last bit of the aisle in silence. But, really in the end I am SO glad that we switched it around. It ended up being so beautiful to get married under the giant tree and having the reception up above was perfect too. It was really how we should have planned it all along.
There were a few other little things that didn’t go quite how I wanted them – like I should have maybe been more specific in picking out our vows since I’d really wanted the old fashioned traditional “in sickness and in health, till death us do part” vows and I guess wasn’t clear enough about that with our pastor (my wonderful brother-in-law). I also didn’t realize that the photographer would want to take some more pictures after the ceremony, which I hadn’t really wanted, but it worked out fine in the end.
There are also things that I sort of wish I had done differently now. Like at the time I was uncompromising about the fact that I didn’t want posed pictures and I specifically picked a photographer who didn’t do posed pictures. Now I sort of wish we had a few nice posed one’s with some of the family. Yes, mom, you were right.
But, overall it really was the best wedding I could have ever imagined. And in the end I got to leave married to the man I love more than anyone else in the world. It was perfect.
Here are a few pictures from the day:
Getting Ready
Walking down the Aisle
The View From Above
The View from Below
The View from the Front
The Reception from Above
Celebrating
Leaving with my hubby (The dress I wore leaving is the same dress my mom wore leaving her wedding)
Our Get Away Car
Rejoicing in the journey-
Bethany Stedman
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thing we did – where we paired everyone up in groups of four or so and gave people different things they had to find and buy for our anti-pasta dinner that night. When we got back to the villa everyone had made such great finds and we had a wonderful meal. My dad got different olive oils and balsamic vinegars that had been aged for different amounts of time and we had a massive olive oil and balsamic vinegar tasting – yes, it was awesome!
of the group split up and toured around, but Bryan and I got dressed up in our wedding attire and took pictures with our very Italian photographer. It was one of the only times all week where Bryan and I really felt like we got a chance to actually talk. I felt like we got tojust wander around the city and talk and kiss and the photographer took our picture as we went. I’m sure that he gave us much more direction than that, but it felt like it was just the two of us for so much of the day.
square was still filled with mud from the races and there were still bleachers set up off to the side. We hadn’t known about the races or planned on any of that, but it ended up being really fun and creating a fun background for some of the pictures. We followed the parade to the end and even got our picture taken with the owner of the winning horse – that picture was in the paper the next day! So, we even got to be semi-famous in Italy.
course some drinking, and lots of dessert, and even a little skinny dipping in the pool. It was so much fun to just relax with my girls before all the wedding festivities began.
. Our Pastor warned us that it is designed more for people who have been married for five years, but he liked to do it before getting married so you know what you are up against. Not only is marriage the most intimate relationship you will ever have, and the most reflective of God’s great love for you; it is also the most damaging relationship you’ll ever have, and your spouse is capable of wounding you far deeper and far more quickly that anyone else. This book recalls an image from 
where Frodo et al are up on Weathertop preparing to hold off the Nazgul, and the party turns their backs in toward each other and their weapons out, protecting each other. (There is a similar scene in 
!) Each year that we are married we turn our backs in a little quicker and with less inadvertent damage by unwieldy swords! (The tongue is a double-edged sword, btw!)
and the bible studies that spring from it called 
Joanna Stewart works with World Harvest Mission. She and her husband, Mark lived and taught in rural Uganda for three years; and they are now living in Prague. She is the mercy coordinator for Faith Community Church and spends her time trying to learn how to serve people in the city in the name of Christ. Her hobbies are cooking, knitting, and trying to keep her sons Sasha (4) and Izaak (1) from bleeding.
Today Bryan and I have been married for five years. We flew into Prague last night. The baby and I are sick. So, you can imagine how our day has been. Our anniversary looked different than what it’s looked like before, and what I had imagined it would look like. In fact LOVE itself looks different now then it did before. But, it’s a really good thing. Here’s my tribute to what love looks like five years in with a baby…
Beth Stedman. wife. mommy. daughter. friend. homemaker. sinner. believer. writer. cook. dreamer. artist. yogi. photographer. 
