Posts Tagged ‘stress’

Letting go and Trusting

June 16th, 2009

So, I haven’t been sleeping very well since being pregnant. In fact I think in the past 23+ weeks that I’ve been pregnant I’ve only slept through the night without waking up once. Honestly, I’m very tired of that. But, last night during one of my many fits of wakefulness I was doing some thinking, or maybe feeling is a better word for it.

It seemed that suddenly I was flooded with all the many things that are currently going on in my life and the lives of those around me that I could worry about. As the many potential worries came at my mind and heart, waves of anxiety started to build. I rolled over trying to shut the thoughts out of my head. I tried to pray for myself and those I love, but it seemed everything came at me so fast and I didn’t know where to even beginning. Soon I was sitting up staring into the darkness, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. In that moment some words came to me, “Which of you by worrying can add a single hair to your head?… Oh, you of little faith.”

What does it mean to trust God in the midst of deep uncertainties and potential devastations? What does it look like to really have faith? How do we stop from spending our days in needless worry that gets us nowhere and does us no good?

I clearly don’t know the answers to these questions as my experience last night shows. But, as I lay there I started to see how truly pointless my worrying was. What did it gain me? It gained me nothing but more worry and anxiety. Then I began to think through each of the situations that were causing me stress. Not a single one of them was something that was in my control or something I could do anything about. I guess that’s why they caused me to worry so much in the first place – if I felt that I could do something about them then I would feel some release of anxiety because I would feel in control over them. But, the truly scary things in life are those things that we have absolutely no control over. So, maybe the act of trusting, the act of letting go of our worries and anxieties is really the act of acknowledging and accepting and surrendering to our ultimate lack of control.

That’s what I worked on last night… letting go. Recognizing my lack of control and accepting that someone far more gracious and loving than me is in control and I could rest in that. I didn’t totally figure it out, but I’m trying.

This morning I opened the Celtic Book of Daily Prayer and came across this section which seemed very applicable:

“Christ of the mysteries, can I trust You
to be stronger than each storm in me?

… I determine amidst all uncertainty
always to trust.

I believe You will make a way for me
and provide for me,
if only I trust You
and obey.

I will trust in the darkness and know
that my times are still in Your hand.”

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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Lessons from Yoga: Focus

October 2nd, 2008

It’s amazing what a difference focus can make. What we focus on has a dramatic effect on our mood and our lives. Lately I have been focusing on some big questions and issues that feel unsolvable and overwhelming and I’ve felt overwhelmed, depressed, stressed, aggravated and just plain off. So, tonight I called my mom, I wanted to find out about some big stuff that’s going on in her life (which also felt overwhelming to me) but I also wanted someone to commiserate with me. I wanted someone to focus on my stresses and struggles with me. I wanted someone to validate my feelings and feel them with me. What I got was different, but far better. My mom started asking me questions about some of the things that I am excited about in my life right now, and as I shared things with her my focus shifted and by the end of the conversation I no longer felt overwhelmed, stressed, alone and afraid – instead I felt excited and energized. It was amazing the difference it made.

Maybe I’m going too far in saying this, but, right now I feel like focus is everything. When I focus on my lack of control I feel overwhelmed, when I focus on God’s power and realize that He is always in control I feel reassured. When I focus on the big questions of how to pay the upcoming bills I feel overwhelmed, but when I focus on the simple task in front of me I feel reassured.

It reminded me of doing balancing poses in yoga… Sometimes when I’m trying to do a really difficult balancing pose I will focus on getting my body into the pose and no matter what I do I won’t be able to get my body to do it right – I get frustrated and try harder and harder and focus more and more on the big picture of getting into the pose. But, when I relax and take my focus to something else, a small spot on the wall or the place where the floor and wall meet, then suddenly I find my balance and I can do the pose. It’s overwhelming to my mind and body to focus on getting into the difficult pose and focus on keeping my balance in it, but when I take my focus to something else, something simple, a small spot in front of me, my mind can center and my body can balance. In life often I focus on the big picture of trying to fix everything and get my whole life right at once, and I get off balance and fall. But, when I focus just on the task in front of me suddenly things start to fall in place and I have the energy to go farther and do more than I thought I could. Focus really does change everything.

“Simply to do what we ought is an altogether higher, diviner, more potent, more creative thing, than to write the grandest poem, paint the most beautiful picture, carve the mightiest statue, build the most worshiping temple, or dream out the most enchanting commotion of melody and harmony.” – George MacDonald

“There is always a way of doing when one is willing to begin small. This is indeed a divine law! There shall be no success to the man who is not willing to begin small. Small is strong, for it can only grow stronger. Big at the outset is bloated and weak! There are thousands willing to do great things for one willing to do a small thing; but there never was any truly great thing that did not begin small.” – George MacDonald

Rejoicing in the journey -
Bethany Stedman

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