I hear God whispering questions to my soul…

God: “Are you going to listen to me or are you going to listen to your circumstances. Are you going to follow me or are you just going to to give up? Are you going to let me walk you through the desert or are you going to run back to Egypt? Are you going to let me spin my cocoon of change around you or are you going to fight to remain a caterpillar? Will you follow me, Bethany, even when the way is unclear and everything seems to be upside down? Will you follow me into my upside down kingdom?”

Me: “Lord, I want to follow you, but the way is unclear and the path uncertain... and I’m scared.  I don’t want to give up… I won’t give up. I won’t just run back to the easy road. I won’t return to Egypt… but, Lord, could you just tell me where to go instead? Would you tell me what to do next?”

God: “Rest. Stop doing. Just be. I will lead you and I will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it. For now, just be. Be the beautiful, creative, intelligent woman I made you to be, Bethany.”

Me: “But, Lord, I don’t FEEL beautiful, creative or intelligent – I feel awkward most of the time.”

God: “Bethany, it’s not about feeling, it’s about truth. Let me speak my truth about you.”

Me: “But, even if I did believe what you say about me… I wouldn’t know where to bring my beauty, creativity, or intellect – what should I do with the gifts you’ve given me? Where do I fit? What are you calling me to?...”

God: (Interrupting)”… Shhhh. Quiet, my dear child. Be still. You do not have to have all the answers. You do not have to know what to do right now. Just do the small things that I place in front of you. Follow me. Listen to me. Rest in me. And slowly I’ll take you where I want you to go.”

Me: “… Here, I am…Speak, Lord, for your servant listens…”

Rejoicing in the journey - Beth Stedman