So, a week from today Bryan and I will no longer have a job. We’ve had to realize that and come face to face with that fact in different ways at different times this past week. We’ve felt helpless, scared, fearful, stressed, excited, thankful, anxious, frustrated, depressed and all sorts of other emotions at different times. It’s been quite the roller coaster and it’s beginning to feel that we are no longer on solid ground but are just free falling.

Free falling is a funny thing – there’s nothing solid under you, you are falling faster than you can control and that’s really frightening. But, there’s also nothing under you, so you are completely free and exhilarated. That’s a bit how I think we feel. At times we focus on the ground that seems to be rushing up to smash us and we feel terrified. At other times when we let go and focus instead on the rush of the wind in our ears and the God who we know will catch us and we feel freedom to just be and excited for the unknown to come. But, each second of each day is different and I for one change my focus away from God and onto my own limitations and fears far too often. Pray for us – it’s going to be a trying month for us.

On a lighter note… Bryan and I made pancakes at midnight last night. I had gone out with some wonderful women and spent a truly amazing time sharing life with them and when I got home at around 11pm I was starving. Not sure really why since I had eaten dinner and snacked with the ladies, but I just wanted to eat. Bryan was also hungry so we decided to make pancakes. Only problem was we didn’t have any milk in the house. So, at 11pm we walked to Tesco (which is open 24 hours a day by us) and got milk. By 12:30am we were eating the best pancakes I’d ever had. Bryan learned a new technique where you beat the egg whites first and then mix them in with the pancake dough and it was incredible. Seriously the yummiest pancakes I’ve ever eaten! So, we had a nice chat and eat pancakes at midnight. I think there’s a certain mystic to eating pancakes at midnight – it sort of makes you feel young and careless - We needed that last night. Thank you, Lord, Jesus for beautiful friends, and pancakes and late night talks with my husband.

Rejoicing in the journey - Bethany Stedman

Photograph by Beth Stedman