I have been feeling very needy lately and honestly I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling needy. I like feeling in control (as I have mentioned before). I like feeling capable and able and independent and have a difficult time admitting that I need other people’s help. In fact I have a hard time even asking people to pray for me even though I know that I need their prayer.

Basically, though lately I’ve realized how desperately I need other people in every area of my life. I need help. I admit that I can’t do life on my own – any part of it really. So, there’s my confession. I know that I need people. The problem is that I have a very hard time actually acting like I need other people and letting that knowledge really sink into how I live my life. So, I need help. I need help needing people. I need help becoming needy. I need help letting people into my life and my heart. I need help needing.

I need help with that because, I am convinced that it is only in community, only through active involvement and dependence on the body of Christ, that we really grow and experience healing and life. I am convinced that the life God calls us to live is a communal life. We need each other. I need you. It’s hard for me to admit and live like that but I know that it is the truth. It is through the body of Christ that Christ reveals himself to us. It is through the Body of Christ that Christ often chooses to meet our daily needs. Christ often chooses to use his body to challenge, instruct, convict, and encourage us. But, if I don’t let others into my life, don’t let them know my needs or struggles or questions then how can they help me? How can they be Christ’s hands and feet to me? If I choose not to share my triumphs and victories and encouragements with them how can they rejoice with me? If I choose not to let them into my life why would they choose to let me into theirs? How can we really be the Body of Christ if we hold each other (and thus hold Christ) at arm’s length and don’t really let each other into our lives?

Those are my thoughts today… I think them, but I have a much harder time living them.

Rejoicing in the journey - Bethany Stedman