Today I'm stating intention.

Today I'm putting something out into the universe, curious to see if anything comes back.

Today I'm sharing desire, hopeful that somewhere out there a need exists that my desire could fill.

I want a job.

Perhaps not right away, but I think sometime before Thaddeus starts school next August, I want a job.

I don't really feel like I need a job. I want a job. I'm ready to contribute outside the home.   I want to contribute to our finances and to something more.

But, I still value being home with my children.

I want a job that I can either easily do with Sage or I want clear, competent, provision for her that I am completely comfortable with.

I want a job that fits in neatly with Thaddeus's school schedule.

I want a job that allows me flexibility and some freedom over my schedule.

I want a job where I feel like I'm making some small difference in the world, or at least in one small life.

I want a job that involves my interests, excites my passion, and feeds my soul.

I want a job where I am creating something. Building something. Making something.

I want a job that utilizes my skills.

I want a job that requires me to write.

I want a job that requires me to move.

I want a job that requires me to think and stretch my mind.

I want a job that I feel competent at and that feeds my self esteem instead of feeding my always hungry self deprecating spirit.

I want a job that empowers me.

I want a job that provides for me in a way that if some time down the road Bryan's melanoma gets the best of him (God forbid!) I will have something to do, something to fall back on.

Sometimes I think about doing things like teaching yoga again, or doing accupressure or Body Talk or neuro-emotional testing or other such healing body work. Other times I think about writing, teaching, doing photography, design, or working for a non-profit. Or maybe something I've never even heard of before. Anyone want to pay me to make pinterest boards or write individualized wedding toasts? ;)

When it comes down to it, I don't really know what I want to do, but I know I want to do something. And I know I'm willing to wait for just the right thing.

I think that's what I want more than anything else. Something that feels right.

I doubt I can find the perfect job that fits all of the desires I expressed in this post, but there's no harm in putting those desires out there and asking - I'm sure to never fill all those desires if I don't express them, right? But, I think what's really different about where I am now and where I've been in the past is that I finally feel like it would be worth leaving the kids not just for the perfect job, but for a job that feels right for this season. Does that make sense?

So, anyone have any career ideas for me? Or job opportunities? I'm all ears.

Rejoicing in the journey, Bethany Stedman