Why are you interested in a diagnosis?

The first time I saw a psychiatrist I asked her about a diagnosis, particularly for autism, ADHD, and OCD.

“Why do you want a diagnosis?” She asked.

I didn’t have words to describe it, not fully. I’m still trying to figure out how to describe my feelings on the topic — that’s probably why I’m writing this post. It’s only when I start writing about something I’m struggling to articulate, that I find the words to articulate it.

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Bethany Stedman
What is mine to carry?

There’s a lot going on in the world. So much is broken and it’s so easy to feel overwhelmed. So, what do we do? In a day and age where nearly everyone and everywhere on the planet is accessible to us, what does it mean to love our neighbor? How do we keep from being overwhelmed when the whole broken world is our village? How do we seek justice and mercy when the whole fucking world is bleeding? How do you know where to stanch the bleeding first?

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Bethany Stedman
I can't write this book

“I can’t write this book.” I choked on a sob. “I don’t know how.” I wiped my snotty nose on my sleeve and sunk my head down on the desk. “I’ve written almost everything imaginable and never struggled like this before. I know how to write, but I don’t know how to do this. I can’t do this. I really can’t write this book. What was I thinking taking this job?!”

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Bethany Stedman
We become who we listen to, who we follow, who we elect

When I was young, I was one of those people who said “I’m not political.” I’m a bit ashamed of that now. It showed my privilege. It showed my fear.

Then about a decade ago, I started slowly seeking out varying view points and forming my own opinions about politics. Rather than shying away from political conversations, I started asking questions. And like anything else, I wrote — it’s how I pull my thoughts into existence, it’s how I process. I blogged about the last few presidential elections (2016, 2012, 2008) and found it incredibly cathartic and empowering. I also found it terrifying. Terrifying to so publicly speak an opinion that varied from my family, and from the majority of my community at the time.

This year, there’s been so much I’ve wanted to say, but mostly I’ve found myself hesitating…

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PoliticsBethany Stedman