He is not just the God who takes
Here's what I know, God is good all the time. No matter what.
Like the Spurgeon quote above, these are statements of surrender and trust. Most of the last decade for me has been about surrender and trust. It's not a lesson I've mastered, but it's one I've had an awful lot of experience with, and I think I've gotten good at accepting what is, grieving when things don't go the way I want or the way I had hoped, and surrendering my desires over and over again. At least in terms of Bryan's cancer.
But, lately, I'm hearing the Spirit whisper that there's more. He is not just the God who asks us to surrender. He is not just the God who takes.
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2019: The year of books, books, and more books
When 2019 started, I felt a strong pull inward. 2018 had been about saying yes, stepping out of comfort zones, doing things that I knew would be hard, that I knew would make me uncomfortable, yet doing them anyway. 2018 had been about growth, about trying things. It was a year for trips and traveling, for new work and projects. 2018 was a year of Bryan and Sage both being healthy. It was good, and challenging, and exhausting.
So, I started 2019 tired.
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Documenting the process: The first book I ever finished
I had been writing for a long time. I had notebooks full of scribbled poems, and half started ideas. I had been blogging for years. But, writing a book wasn’t even a blip on my radar. I hadn’t even considered it.
I can’t write a book. I’m a horrible speller, my grammar is only so-so. I am the queen of malapropisms (according to my husband) and I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was in first grade.
Then I had a dream. The real, sound-asleep-in-my-bed, kind of dream. It was weird, disturbing, and completely fantastical. I woke up and knew I wanted to write about it.
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Stories we tell: Enjoyment & Compensation
“So, what did you tell her you charge?” Bryan asked, as he poured himself a glass of sparkling water, “Two grand?”
I let out a quick awkward laugh and turned away to grab my own glass on the counter, “No! I basically just gave her my copy writing hourly rate and then said I would do the whole website for $250.”
“What?” Bryan’s face was as outraged as his voice.
“It’s only a few pages, it won’t take that long.” The justification was clear in my tone.
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