Pregnancy Journal: Week 18

Obviously it's been a while since I've written anything here on the blog. The past three weeks since we came back to the states have been...well, I'm not really sure how to describe them...let's just say there's been a lot to feel and that has made it difficult to write. There is so much that I still don't think I can write about or even begin to process through, so today I'm just going to stick with another pregnancy journal entry, but I'm hoping to write some more interesting thought provoking posts in the coming weeks (like about why I don't really think women should cover up while nursing, my thoughts about leaving Prague and our future, and perhaps a mesquite flour recipe). Pregnancy journal: week 18

I'm seeing... Family

I'm feeling... Overwhelmed, stressed, worried, tired, sick... And unable to separate myself from the stress, worry and anxiety of those around me.

I'm thinking... I really need some space to process, decompress and relax. I know I haven't been doing a good job taking care of myself or this new baby lately and I know I need to, but I'm struggling with how to do that with a demanding toddler and amidst some of the other things that are going on around me right now.

I'm creating... Nothing.

I'm reading... Nothing.

I'm thankful... To be back in the states. Thankful for my midwife and chiropractor, thankful to be able to be with my family in the midst of a lot of different things going on. My dad has been in the hospital for most of the past two weeks and I'm thankful to be here with them all instead of in Prague wondering what's going on.

I'm looking forward to... Finding out the sex of this baby in a little over a week. Ultrasounds make me nervous, but I'm really glad we are going to find out. I've had a really hard time connecting with this baby and it feels like it will help to replace the ambiguity with a gender and a name.

I'm curious about... I'm going to try acupuncture for the first time this week and I'm really curious how it's going to go. I'm excited about it and feeling hopeful that it will help with a lot of what's been going on with my body lately. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

A few plans and intentions for this week:

1. Go to acupuncture 2. Get away by myself at least once - maybe go to a yoga class or go sit and write somewhere

A prayer for the week:

Lord, I feel like there is so much that I could ask right now, so much that I need to be laying before you... I'm not sure where to start. Lord, I pray for healing. Healing for myself. Healing for my dad. Physical healing for all of the issues which are still unknown to us, but are intimately known to you. Lord, I pray for guidance. Guidance for Bryan and I. Guidance for those close to use who face uncertain futures, multiple decisions and unknown outcomes. Guidance for all of the questions in our hearts. Lord, I pray for rest. Rest for my small family. Rest for my extended family. Rest from the heartache, the worry. Be with us all, Lord. I pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen

Rejoicing in the journey - Bethany