32 Weeks and 29 Years

I am 32 weeks pregnant this week and today I turn 29. In honor of these two significant numbers in my life this week I'm going to share with you all 3 things I'm praying for this baby + 2 things I'm praying for this birth. Then I'm gonna share 2 things I'm praying for this coming year + 9 things I'm thankful for from this past year.

3 + 2:

I'm praying that this baby is a much calmer baby than Thad was - that she doesn't have colic, that she sleeps well, that she's not as sensitive as her brother, and generally that she's the kind of baby her daddy was and not the kind of baby I was.
I'm praying that she is light and joy. Maybe it sounds strange, but the first time I thought to myself "I think I'm pregnant" was on winter solstice, when light starts coming back into the world. Ever since then, I have had this prayer that I want this baby to bring light and joy. God knows that after this past few months Bryan and I and our whole family really need a ray of light and joy.
I'm praying that this baby girl is wise beyond her years. I'm praying that although she would be full of joy and light and bring those things to all who know her that she would not be trivial or flighty. I pray that there would be a solidity and a wisdom to her that would be at the root of her joyfulness.

I, of course, pray for a healthy birth for me and baby girl. I pray that there would be no complications, no need to transfer to the hospital, and for a quick and healthy afterbirth delivery with no excessive bleeding or hemorrhaging. I pray that the baby would have no problems and would adjust quickly to life outside the womb.
I also pray for this birth that it would be a more grounded, joyful experience than my first birth. Thaddeus' birth was beautiful and intimate, but it was also shockingly intense and overwhelming. I feel like I know more of what to expect this time and I hope and pray that will make it less intense and shocking and enable me to be more grounded and joyful in the process. My first birth was also a very intimate experience between Bryan and I, which I loved, but this time I feel the need for more feminine energy, involvement, and nurturing, and pray that I can find that.

2 + 9:

This coming year feels so uncertain for me still and so I pray often for clarity and guidance as we step into it.
I also pray for place...for a place that we can belong and feel at home. A place where we can rest, heal, connect, feel supported, grow into ourselves, etc.

I'm thankful for our friendship with the Stewart family over this past year. We haven't seen them in six months, but they were a life-line of support, creativity, love and friendship for us the first half of my 28th year and I am so grateful that I know that no matter where life takes them and us they will always be dear friends.
Another couple that was such a blessing to Bryan and I this past year is the Schwenders. Carrie and Mathias, we are so grateful for you both and all that you have done for us. We miss you guys - miss our prayer times, drinking times, Friends watching times, Želivka picnicking times, and just being with you both!
I'm also grateful that for half of this past year of my life I got to meet regularly with some of the most beautiful women I know. The three of you were an enormous encouragement to me! Thank you!
I'm thankful that this year Thaddeus moved out of the baby stage and into the toddler stage. Sure there are struggles with having a toddler, but I am so grateful for his growing independence and most of all his growing vocabulary. The first year of motherhood was so hard for me, and I'm so grateful that this second year has been much better.
As always, I'm thankful for Bryan. I can't imagine walking through life with anyone else. He is an encouragement, strength, and deep friend. Bryan, I love you, and I really like you too! I would rather spend time with you than anyone else in the world. Thank you for the amazing husband and father you have been, especially in this past year. Whatever comes, I'm glad we get to face it together.
The past few years have been difficult for us financially, but as I look back especially over this past year I can see time and time again how God has stepped in and provided for us, occasionally in big ways, but more often in little ways - like the time when I really wanted butter, but Bryan hadn't been paid on a project yet and we literally didn't have money for butter that week, but found EXACTLY the amount for butter in coins on the street while taking a walk. I'm really thankful for God's provision over this past year.
I'm so thankful that we started co-sleeping and have kept that up this whole past year. It was one of the best things that happened for me this year.
I'm thankful that we were able to come back to the states when we did and that we've been able to see my chiropractor and midwife and spend time with family and friends here for the past few months.
I'm thankful for the baby growing in my womb. As difficult as this pregnancy has been and even with as freaked out and unprepared as I sometimes feel to have two kids, I am so thankful for this baby girl and so excited to meet her in just a few more weeks.

Well, hope you enjoyed this little look into my current thoughts and prayers. Maybe someday my blog will go back to being slightly less personal, but for now it's just nice to write about where I'm at. Thanks for continuing to read :)

Rejoicing in the journey - Bethany Stedman