Dreaming about church...
I used to dream about church a lot – and ask questions about church a lot – what should church look like? What can church look like? How would it change people’s walk with God if this part of church was different? Why are certain things done certain ways in the church? I loved thinking about church, talking about church, dreaming about church and asking questions about church.
But then I stopped… I think partly because life got sort of busy and partly because I feel in love and started dreaming about Bryan instead J and also I think partly because I was frustrated by the discussion – it was too hard sometimes – the questions I asked were uncomfortable sometimes – the churches I saw didn’t fit my dreams of church. But, maybe more than all that I wrestled with a question: If I really believed in the unity of the church, in the idea that God could work through any form, any church, any people, if I really believed that church wasn’t just for what I could get out of it but was for what I could bring to it, if I really believed that family mattered and part of Sundays joy was to spend time with family and connect with them, then is it really right for me to go looking for a new church to fit my ideal of what I want? Shouldn't I instead just participate in and allow God to use the church that I already go to with my family/Bryan’s family? So, that’s where I landed for a while. I tried to just push my dreams about church aside, tried to get involved in the church structure that already existed and bring what gifts/ideas I could to that structure, but it was frustrating for me. I didn't feel like I was selflessly serving where God had me (like I had intended/wanted) but instead I felt like my heart was turned off and I was just going through the motions. It was an interesting time in my life.
Then we moved to Prague… suddenly we had a chance to choose a church. For a while we just went somewhere where we knew people because that was easiest and I think it was good for us to meet people in an established church structure for a time when everything was so foreign in our new lives. But, then we met Craig and Sarah, and heard their vision for a church plant and decided that was where we wanted to be and what we wanted to be involved in. And slowly I felt this “church” part of my heart coming alive again. I started to dream about church again. I started to read emerging church blogs again. I started to ask questions about church again and ask them now with a vested interest… it wasn’t just what could church look like, it was what could this church look like. I started wrestling with some common assumptions about church again. I started thinking about how I could get involved and not only support what they are doing but add myself to it – give ideas and start things. I dream...
....But, it’s funny dreaming from the inside but still sort of on the outside…
This week’s focus for Lent is the Church – “Praying for her patterns of behavior and for new patterns toward health and life. Praying for unity among brothers and sisters and for a turning back to Jesus (not programs) to lead His church.” Tara and her family will be focusing specifically on praying for the US church and I will be joining them in that prayer but extending my prayer also to the church more generally around the world and more specifically here in Prague since this is where I am and where my local church is.
Just as I have only recently begun to dream about church again I have also only recently begun to pray about church again and I look forward to this week of focusing on praying intently for the church. Lifting the bride of Christ up to the throne of God and asking that God's will be done in her.
I also plan on taking this week to share with you some of my recent thoughts and questions on church – I look forward to your input on these thoughts that are bouncing around in my head. In the meantime here are some blogs with thoughts on church that I found interesting…
This blog was fascinating to me – good questions that I will be mulling over for a while I think.
There were a number of blogs on Accidental Blog recently discussing ecclesia and church practice and I found the discussion very interesting. (see posts from Feb 17-21st)
Ok, that’s it for now. More thoughts on church to come…
Rejoicing in the journey - Beth Stedman
Photograph by Beth Stedman